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Member:Â Jeon Jungkook(BTS)
Genre: Angst/Smut
Warnings: fuckboy tendencies, verbal arguments, sexual activities
AU: Non-idol/demons/fuckboy/college
Word count: 5.4k
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The biggest mistake in Y/Nâs life was introducing herself to the new neighbors when they moved in. She never expected that there would be such an odd feeling at that house, the members of the family looked kind enough, but it was their son that seemed to throw off the setting. Y/Nâs parents didnât seem to notice anything seeing as they were distracted with the boyâs parents and asking where he was going to school, and just from listening in, she heard that he was going to the same university when it started up again in a few weeks. While she was glad that she would have someone there for her to talk to, she wasnât sure she wanted to associate herself with him all of the time, especially because he seemed like he was bound to get her in trouble, whether it was because he had some reputation that she didnât know, or he was just a troublemaker in general, it was hard to tell since she had only just met him, but he seemed like the kind of guy she wouldnât normally hang around. He had the stereotypical teenage dirt bag look down to a T and while it would normally get girls hot and bothered, it wasnât working on Y/N.
The two sat on the couch in his family room, watching whatever reality show was on the television instead of talking to each other. That was until he suddenly turned off the TV and scotched over to sit directly next to Y/N.
âIâm tired of this no talking shit. Hi, Iâm Jungkook, and you are?â He sighed.
âUhm, hi. Iâm Y/N, nice to meet you, I think?â She questioned.
âOh, Iâm a pleasure to meet honey.â He said, trying to be smooth about trying to wrap his arm around her.
Y/N looked at him for a moment. âNope. Thatâs not gonna work sir. I just met you, youâre not romancing me right now, I only know your name and thatâs not enough for me to even consider being anything to you.â
âOh, come on, Iâm irresistible, charming, and get my way because of them, I donât see why I canât get you.â He smirked.
âYouâre none of those things, the only thing you are is annoying.â She said.
âYou wound me Y/N.â He said sarcastically.
âGood, stay wounded.â She said, getting up off the couch to join her parents and to escape Jungkookâs advances.
The look on his face as she walked out of the room was priceless, he was so used to host advances working on girls that he expected a 100% success rate, even in a new town where no one knew him or his history with anyone heâs ever met. He knew that it would be open season once he got to university, there was plenty of people he could have success with. It was never surprising when both men and women fell at his feet, he was an attractive young man, but he had another thing going since the aura he threw off was strong and gave the urge to drop everything and become overwhelmed with need, it was amusing to watch, only to Jungkook however, his demon ways proved him to be a rather alluring figure in the human world.
As the weeks passed Y/N never came back over to see Jungkook, he was upset by it, but he knew heâd see her soon enough, since heâd heard his parents talking to hers and she was going to be living in the dorms at the university they were attending, so encountering each other would be easy enough, at least assuming that their buildings were at least semi-close to each other, even if they werenât there was still the chance that they could have classes together, he may not have known what her major was, but she had to have been taking at least a few base classes that are required for graduation.
The day finally came where the two of them went off to university, it was about a two hour drive from their houses, and seeing as Y/Nâs parents were kind, they offered to give Jungkook a ride to the university, which he gladly took, and itâs exactly why heâs crammed into the backseat with Y/N sitting right next to him, trying to ignore him and his bickering over the phone with one of his friends. It angered Y/N that she even had to sit in the back, let alone with her douchebag neighbor, whoâs already got a reputation despite only being in the neighborhood for less than two months. The amount of girlâs Y/N has seen come in and out of Jungkookâs house is astonishing to her, she didnât even think there was that many girls in the town, but there they all were, walking in and out of Jungkookâs door until he went off to university, although, she doesnât think that would change when they got there, and she knew his roommate was gonna go through absolute hell.
The two-hour car ride made Jungkook a bit antsy, and it caused him to start messing around with Y/N, and he soon discovered that was a mistake. He spent at least 10 minutes trying to make her pay attention to him, he finally got his attention when he tried to tickle her sides, but ended up getting punched in the stomach because Y/N wasnât playing his games today or any day for that matter.
Their arrival in to the university was nothing short of messy, all the administrators were rushing the arriving students with their luggage and their dorm keys, so when Y/N finally broke apart from Jungkook with what she assumed was her luggage and got to her dorm, she realized that because the administrators rushed them, she had Jungkookâs luggage, and none of her own.
She hurriedly called her father who was with Jungkook, so he could help him with getting everything into his room without issues, it rang a few times before an unexpected voice picked up.
âYou have my luggage, donât you?â Jungkook sighed.
âWell, yeah, and I guess you have mine?â Y/N asked awkwardly.
âI do indeed.â He paused. âYou got a nice pair of ducky panties in your suitcase.â
âDonât look through my stuff!â Y/N exclaimed.
âYouâve probably already looked through mine, so whatâs the harm in looking through yours?â He said.
âExcuse me, Iâm a decent human being and donât snoop through other things out of common courtesy, but I guess I will now that youâve invaded my stuff.â Y/N huffed.
âI donât think youâll find anything in there, but have fun, Iâll bring your luggage to you, I just need your dorm number.â Jungkook said in an annoyed tone.
âRoom 432, building L.â Y/N answered.
Jungkook was silent for a moment. âYouâre fucking kidding me.â
âWhat?â Y/N asked.
âWeâre in the same building but on different floors, so Iâll be up in a few minutes.â Jungkook sighed.
âOkay, goodbye then.â Y/N said before hanging up on Jungkook.
She couldnât believe that not only did her and Jungkook share the building, but that he could just show up at her door at any time now because he knew where she was staying now. As she waited for Jungkook to show up she did as promise and looked through his stuff, finding three boxes of condoms, an overabundance of white tee-shirts, and what looked like a Bible, but upon a closer look, it wasnât what it seemed, words were scratched into the front cover along with a pentagram. Y/N couldnât read anything on the cover, it looked like a foreign language consisting of symbols and a type of alphabet. She ended up opening the book to find pages of script printed on to the pages. She assumed it had something to do with some sort of devilâs script, but before she could conclude more Jungkook knocked on her door, causing her to drop the book on the ground.
Jungkook smirked. âI see you took my words and found my Bible.â
âI wouldnât call that a Bible, that looks more like some cult contract.â Y/N laughed.
Jungkook laughed. âOh Y/N, youâre such a stupid girl, use your head, you saw the pentagram on the book, canât you put two and two together?â
âI donât get what you mean, all I can put together is that it might have something to do with a cult or Satanists, either way, itâs not my business.â Y/N said as she crossed her arms at him.
âYou have the Satan part right, just not in the right context.â He pointed out.
âIf youâre trying to say that youâre the son of Satan and this is his rules on how to pretend to be mortal, I donât believe you.â Y/N said.
âMore like the rules on how not to get caught being a demon, written by Satan for the masses of demons, because you know, Iâm a lust demon.â Jungkook sighed.
âWow muscle dummy is trying to sound smart by using biblical words, nice try, but I donât believe that. Just take your shit and go.â Y/N said, waving him off.
âYouâll believe me eventually, but for now, weâll leave it. However, per your dadâs request, I need your number, so I can know if youâre safe when you go out or if youâre in trouble and need help.â Jungkook said, pulling his phone out of his back pocket.
Y/N clicked her tongue and took Jungkookâs phone out of his hands, knowing that her father would tell Jungkook to be her emergency contact on campus, so he knew that she was safe. After she finished putting her number into his phone she handed it back to him and helped him zip up his bags before sending him off without another word.
She was still in disbelief about what Jungkook said about his status as a supposed lust demon, she was just going to write him off as a Satanist fuck boy until further notice, or until he proved that he was indeed a demon and wasnât fucking around with her, trying to mess with her head and try to get her to sleep with him and be done with her. She normally wouldnât be this doubtful of someone, but with Jungkookâs reputation and the way he acts around her.
It turned out that Y/N didnât have a roommate for this semester, and she was grateful for it, it meant she could do whatever she wanted in there for as long as she wanted because there was no one to bitch at her like her past roommates had. It took her until 8PM to unpack her bags and get everything in its place for the next 9 months.
The weeks passed by and Y/N hadnât seen Jungkook around campus, she thought that maybe just maybe she escaped his fuck boyish ways for the whole year, but that notion became false as when she was going out with one of her friends that she had made from her English class, Jungkook was there in the restaurant that the two had chosen to go to, not as a customer however, but as their waiter. She halfway expected him to start his flirtatious ways with her, but he was professional while he took their order and brought it to their table, and it wasnât until Y/Nâs friend went off to the bathroom that Jungkook rushed over to her table and slid into the booth where her friend was sitting.
âWhat are you doing?â Y/N asked confusedly.
âChecking up on you. I havenât seen you since the day in the dorms and you havenât been answering my text messages, so I was worried.â Jungkook admitted.
âYou know where my dorm is, you couldâve just come up and asked how I was doing instead of well, this.â Y/N sighed.
âI know, but I didnât think youâd want me in your dorm since you donât seem to like me very much.â Jungkook said.
âI have my reasons to not like you, but if my dad said to check up on me every now and again to make sure Iâm alive, do it.â Y/N said.
âWait, so you actually donât like me?â Jungkook asked.
âNot really.â Y/N said bluntly.
âWhy not?â He questioned.
âYou see Jungkook, youâre classified as a fuck boy, and I donât fuck with fuck boys, not even as friends because theyâre always ready to jump in your pants when youâre most vulnerable and Iâm not down with that.â Y/N explained.
âIâm not a fuck boy, Iâve told you that Iâm a demon and you donât believe me, but I have to fuck to live, Iâm not just doing it to get into girlâs heads, if I had a girlfriend then sheâd be just fine, but Iâm single and masturbation is not the way out for someone like me.â He sighed angrily.
âWell fucking around isnât going to fix that-â Y/N started, âwhat are you doing?â
âWhat do you mean, Iâm not doing anything.â Jungkook said confusedly.
âUhm, sorry if you donât notice, but you have literal horns starting to pop out of your forehead.â Y/N said.
âGod damn it.â Jungkook muttered.
He bolted out of the table and ran into the bathroom. Y/N wasnât necessarily shocked about Jungkookâs changing appearance, more confused than anything. Sure, now she believed Jungkookâs words of him being a demon, but it still didnât make sense as to why he suddenly started changing into what she figured would be his true form. Y/Nâs friend had come back from the bathroom and the two continued finished their meal before Jungkook came back with his serious persona that was completely different from his panic from about 10 minutes ago. Y/N waited until she made it back to her dorm to text Jungkook about what happened at the diner.
Y/N:
You okay Jungkook?
I donât know what happened back there
But Iâm sorry if I did something that upset you
I believe you now though
Iâll stop grilling your case about everything now
Maybe we can work on being friends now?
 She tossed her phone aside and waited for Jungkookâs response. She doesnât expect an immediate response since he was at work, but it came a lot quicker than she would have imagined.
 Fuckboy:
You didnât do anything wrong
That just happens sometimes
Iâm not very good about hiding my demon form
It kind of hurts to keep it up all the time you know?
I guess, me feeling comfortable around you made me slip?
I donât know, but itâs okay, I just canât do that in public, itâs risky and yikes
 Y/N:
Oh
I thought you were upset because I called you a fuckboy
I mean, I would be upset if someone accused me of that
 Fuckboy:
Nah, itâs not the first time someone called me that
My friend Jennie has called me that numerous times
But it does hurt that you think that
I do care about people and their feelings
Like I said, if I had a girlfriend it wouldnât be like this
 Y/N reread the last text message repeatedly. Deep inside her head told her not to believe him, but she knew it was wrong to not believe him after today. She accepted that she was now going to try being his friend instead of hating him. It wasnât the first time that sheâd thought of dropping the act of hating him, but now she was sure of it, she couldnât hate a demon boy just trying to live his life and stay alive.
The weeks preceding the new-found friendship between Y/N and Jungkook weâre great, the two spent their days off with each other, watching movies and talking about oddities that theyâd seen throughout out the week. This week however, Y/N had to bail on Jungkook because one of her other friends invited her to a party and Y/N decided to live loosely for once in her life. Of course, she sent Jungkook a text that she would have to miss out on their night in and that she would text him when she got home or if she needed him to get her from the party. He of course asked if he could come with, but she just said that she didnât know if she could bring another person and thought maybe it was too late to ask her friend, but that she might have him sneak into the party later if he really wanted to go. Jungkook couldnât help but feel a tinge of betrayal when Y/N had decided to bail on him last minute, but it wouldnât stop him from at least trying to sneak into the party, she did give him the address, so he doesnât see any harm in going without Y/N knowing.
The smell of alcohol hit Y/Nâs nose as soon as she walked in the door, it was a familiar smell since most of the dorms in her building stunk of it in the first place. The music was loud and the people around her were already tipsy and ready to act like complete idiots. Y/N went to the drink table and grabbed one of the many solo cups on the table and went out on to the balcony to look at the people in the pool below, it was a fun sight, even if it was just people getting pushed into the pool and people making out, it was entertaining just watching them have fun with no cares in the world. It wasnât too long until people from inside migrated from the living room on to the balcony, she got a bit uncomfortable with how close some of the guys got to her, but she shouldnât be too surprised, this party was at a frat house, so there would be frat boys trying to get with whatever girl they could just to get their dicks wet. Y/N finally decided to leave the balcony when one of the boys grabbed her ass while she was minding her business and sipping the beer from her cup. When she got back inside she ran into the kitchen, which was surprisingly empty and took a seat on the counter near the sink. She was there for a while until she felt her phone buzz.
Jungkook âĽ:
Are you okay?
I saw you bolt off the balcony and somewhere into the house
Did someone try to hurt you?
Y/N:
I guess Iâm okay
Someone groped me, so I wanted to get out of there
When did you get here though, if you wanna join me you can?
Jungkook âĽ:
Where are you?
Whereâs this someone I need to talk to them
Iâll join you after I kick their ass for touching you like that
Y/N:
Jungkook donât kick his ass
Just come sit with me in the kitchen
I just want to see you, or have you take me home :â(
Y/N didnât get a reply after that, she just looked down at her shoes and trying to figure out if Jungkook would come see her or if he was trying to find the guy who grabbed her ass. She sat there for another five minutes before she decided to look up to at least find Jungkook in her sights. She spotted a very familiar white shirt and brown hair. He peered into the kitchen and finally sprinted into the kitchen and made room for himself to sit next to her on the counter.
âIâm sorry.â Y/N blurted out.
âWhy, you didnât do anything wrong.â Jungkook said as Y/N put her cup next to her.
âFor ditching you for this dumb party, I should have just told my friend no and stayed in with you.â She said quietly.
âHey, no, thatâs not allowed. Sure, I may have been upset that you decided to go to a party without me, but I knew that youâd miss me, so I came, and Iâm glad I did, now we can just sit here and talk like we normally would.â Jungkook said, placing his hand on Y/Nâs knee.
âI just wanna go home, I donât want to be here anymore.â Y/N said, trying to keep tears from falling down her cheeks.
âWhy are you crying, thereâs no reason to, Iâm not angry with you okay, why do you want to go home?â Jungkook asked worriedly.
âIâm not having fun and I would rather be at your dorm watching stupid TV shows and eating junk food.â Y/N pouted.
Jungkook sighed. âIf you keep pouting like that Iâm gonna have to kiss it off you.â
Y/N keeps pouting. âTry me demon boy.â
Jungkook smirked and chuckled. âYou asked for it.â
He lifted her chin and softly placed a kiss on her lips. Her lips were soft and molded to his nicely, everything about the kiss was gentle, it was nothing like the other kisses Jungkook has had, this one felt like it meant something, like he wanted to stay like this forever. When he pulled away a few seconds later Y/N just smiled at the boy and hugged his side tightly. He had no idea how much she had to drink, but he hoped that it wasnât much, so she could remember him kissing her, holding her gently and taking care of her. He thought that maybe this would mean something to her too.
âCan we leave, please?â Y/N asked, a small blush ran across her cheeks.
Jungkook nodded and took her hand and she hopped off the counter before she maneuvered her hand to keep holding Jungkookâs hand while they walked out of the party despite the angry calls of the frat boys for them leaving early, but neither cared, the only thing that was on their minds was getting to Jungkookâs dorm and starting their night the way it should have. The walk back to the dorms is quiet, only the sounds of their footsteps crunching the leaves beneath them.
When the two arrived at Jungkookâs dorm they immediately grabbed blankets and pillows just to throw them on the floor, so they could watch whatever TV show they decided to watch for the night. Y/Nâs slightly tipsy state made Jungkook laugh, she was much more giggly and happier, he liked this side of her, but he enjoyed the sober her more, as heâd fallen for that girl and was ready for everything to be sound. He had planned on confessing to her that night, but he decided to save it for when she didnât have alcohol running through her and wasnât trying to kiss his cheeks every time he looked in her direction while watching the movies.
Y/N ended up falling asleep on the floor after the first movie had ended, and Jungkook could only smile at her after realizing that sheâd fallen asleep in his lap. He carefully picked her up and put her in his bed before carefully climbing into bed next to her and holding her tightly in his arms. He fell asleep quickly after, breathing in her scent and enjoying her body heat that radiated off her.
The next morning the sun shined through the small window next to the bed and it woke the both up, and Y/N wasnât as confused as she thought she would be, but it still worried Jungkook.
âGood morning sunshine.â Y/N yawned.
âGood morning too you too gorgeous.â Jungkook smiled. âDo you remember anything from last night?â
Y/N giggled while she rolled over on to sit on Jungkookâs stomach. âI do, I honestly didnât have much to drink, so yes, I do remember you kissing me, and I might have liked it.â
âYou liked kissing me?â Jungkook asked.
âUhm, yeah, sorry. I know it seems like such a dumb thing, but I did, and Iâve fallen for you and I donât know if you did it on purpose or if I just fell for you like normal, but either way, Iâm sorry that I fell for you since itâs probably not what you wanted.â Y/N said with a pout.
âWhoa there, donât apologize Y/N. I understand, I fell for you a while ago, but you seemed to hold so much hated for me that I just assumed that youâd never do it, and I didnât try to use my charm on you, and honestly, I didnât even have sex with anyone like I was supposed to. Iâm surprised Iâve lasted this long, last time I went this long I almost died.â Jungkook said with a laugh.
âOh my god, Jungkook, are you okay?!â Y/N panicked.
âIâm okay, at least for a few more weeks, but Iâm probably starting to get sick now.â Jungkook shrugged.
âShouldnât you do something about that?â Y/N asked.
âI can, but Iâd have to ask her.â He smiled.
âOh, good luck then.â Y/N said, trying to get off Jungkook.
Jungkook grabbed on to her waist to stop her. âItâs you silly.â
âOh, oh, oh!â Y/N laughed.
âWould you please?â Jungkook asked kindly.
Y/N smirked. âOnly if you want to.â
âOh, I want to.â Jungkook laughed.
Jungkook gripped on to her hips tightly as he carefully flipped her over, so she was laying down on his bed. He went immediately went to her lips, kissing her softly, but with need, heâd been waiting for this for so long. The kiss got deeper fast, it wasnât rough, but the need of each other grew more, Jungkook slipped his tongue into Y/Nâs mouth, carefully exploring before he pulled away and started kissing down Y/Nâs neck, occasionally biting and licking the red spots that he created so easily. After he marked up her neck to his liking he slipped off both of their clothes, seeing Y/N naked almost made Jungkook come right there, but he could hold off, her pleasure was first, not his.
Jungkookâs fingers flew down to Y/Nâs slit, feeling how wet she was becoming, it amazed him how much he could turn her on just from kissing and sucking her neck. He smirked at her before directing his attention to Y/Nâs thighs. Gently kissing the insides of her sensitive thighs, he wanted to do this right, and he was more than happy to have her be his breakfast. Y/N watched Jungkook maneuver himself between her two thighs, making her needy for him to finally taste her. She whimpered every time he got closer to her throbbing heat, and she almost couldnât handle it, until he finally brought his face directly to her. His tongue went to her folds, licking a strip from her slit to her clit, bumping his nose into it on the way up, sending shockwaves through Y/Nâs body. His method of attack was to focus on her clit and maybe add a few fingers to get her ready for his cock later.
His ministrations against her was by far the best feeling and his eye contact with her while he made her feel like she was floating was the most attractive thing sheâd ever seen a man do. Y/N had, had sex before, but never with someone this caring about how prepared she was for the person. She wasnât surprised that Jungkook was godlike with his mouth, but he left her gripping at his hair and nearly pushing him away because he made her feel that good. She eventually did have to push him away, she wasnât about to come from just his tongue and she knew she was more than wet enough for him to fuck her right.
âWhyâd you stop me?â Jungkook asked, his lips and chin glistening from Y/Nâs slick.
âI didnât want to come yet, I want to come around you.â Y/N whined.
âYouâre so cute.â Â He smirked at her. âHow about I make you come now, and make you come again around me, does that sound good?â
Y/N nodded and Jungkook smirked at her response. He dove back into her heat and went back to his ministrations and finally slipped one finger into her. His long digit immediately added more pleasure and Y/N was already so close to coming again. It only took a matter of minutes before Y/N gasped loudly as he body spasmed and enclosed Jungkookâs head between her thighs. She clenched against the singular finger that was still fucking her through her orgasm while Jungkook kept his tongue busy while she rode it out.
He pulled out his finger and brought it to his lips, slightly sticking his tongue out to taste more of her juices. He smirked, his eyes black and his demon form out.
âAll of this just for me.â He smirked at her, one of his fangs slightly sticking out of his mouth.
This would be frightening if Y/N hadnât seen his demon form before this, she knew it would probably come out while he was fucking her, he was already so comfortable with her in the first place that it seemed like a regular thing.
âPlease tell me you have condoms.â Y/N spoke out suddenly.
âOf course, I do, I may be stupid, but when it comes to sex Iâm not.â He said with no hesitation.
Y/N laughed as Jungkook leaned over her to get a condom from the drawer in his bedside table, his body heat radiating against her heated skin but quickly disappearing as heâd taken his place back between her thighs.
Jungkook stroked his cock a few times before ripping open the foil package of the condom and rolling it on to himself and lining himself up at her entrance. He carefully pushed into her slit, being careful to not hurt her. The feeling of Jungkookâs cock filling her to the brim almost made her come once more, but he stopped pushing in before it could even happen. He was deep inside her as he grabbed her hips and started slowly pulling himself out of her, only to thrust back into her gently. Jungkook didnât want a rough fuck between him and Y/N, he wanted to be gentle, she was precious to him and he didnât want to hurt her.
He fucked into her at a medium pace, keeping hem both happy, it was perfect for their morning fuck. The friction between them seemed mind blowing, it was amazing compared to all the other times that theyâve had sex with other people, but nothing would compare to this. The feelings the two had for each other made all the difference.
His thrusts and her attempts to meet them were all it took to get Y/N to come around Jungkookâs cock and for him to shoot his seed into the condom. Jungkookâs hips stuttered before stopping and pulling out of Y/N, quickly taking off the condom and tying it off before throwing it in the garbage and collapsing on the bed next to Y/N.
Y/N looked over at Jungkook, smiling softly as he met her gaze and pulled her into his chest. The feeling of happiness is what they both felt, it was an amazing feeling for the both, and they wanted it to stay like this, forever.
âI really do love you Y/N.â Jungkook said, pressing kisses into the crown of her head.
 âI love you too Jungkook.â Y/N spoke against Jungkookâs chest.
He let go of her for a second to fully talk to her. âWhat are we gonna do about this?â
âWhat do you mean, I love you, you love me, seems pretty simple on what we do.â Y/N laughed.
âAre you saying what I think youâre saying?â Jungkook smirked.
âIf you think Iâm saying that Iâm yours now, then yes?â Y/N questioned.
âThatâs what I thought, now, back to soft cuddles because you feel nice against my skin.â Jungkook said, bringing Y/N into his chest once more.
The months preceding that day were magical, and when they went home for the holidays it seemed like their parents knew, they hadnât told any of their family, but they knew the moment they walked in the door. It wasnât until Y/N realized that she had marks from Jungkook showing on her neck that she realized how they knew and ended up hitting Jungkookâs chest in distress because she told him to not do that while they were in the backseat of Y/Nâs fatherâs car.
However, their parents brushed it off, and accepted that the two were happily together, even if one side didnât know how blasphemous Jungkook had made her.
Summary: Their relationship would be the most boring movie in the world, and it takes a writer to change the ending.
Word Count: 842
A/N: Requested by anon! (50 and 85) Thank you for being the first person to send a request who isnât someone from any of the networks Iâm in! (at least I donât think you are :O) I did my best, and I hope you enjoy it!Â
Looking at him hurts. The worry in his eyes is blinding and he wants to step forward, but I donât let him. His blonde hair is distracting because it was black the last time I saw him; I havenât seen him in a long time.
So him knocking on the door of my small apartment in the outskirts of Seoul was enough to break my heart. Our so-called ârelationshipâ where we never went on any dates has been nothing but suffocating.
Itâs time that I breathe.
âY/N,â he says, his voice gentle, as if raising it would shatter me. âI know itâs hard-â
âI do. Itâs so hard to be in a relationship when it doesnât even feel like Iâm in one,â I tell him.
Millions of people would kill to be in my place. Dating one of Koreaâs best idols is nothing but a dream for everybody else. After taking the opportunity, I have only learned the truth that it is nothing like the movies. Romantic scenarios and fluffy imaginations are true to what they are: fiction.
Our movie is boring. There are no fireworks in the kisses we rarely share, no comfort in his hands that sometimes surround mine, and there is definitely no scene of bed sheets and tangled limbs in this film. It is silent and monochrome.
Most importantly, itâs my fault. The fear of my phone lighting up at every threatening comment has become too important. I donât want my chest to be full of daggers from every glare Iâd see. Letters upon letters of loathe would be dedicated to my sole existence, and I canât have that.
Min Yoongi has become my everything in the course of three months through our dates on computer screens accompanied by sweat dripping off his made up face. The thought of him pulled me out of bed without missing a day. He set forth my purposeâhe was my exposition.
It was raining on the day I asked him to keep our love a secret. Even as he walked me home, masks on our faces, my only conflict was with myself as I held onto boxes of tissues and stared at the thermometer. The heat and fatigue was no match for my emotions. The war against my fears became my rising action.
Iâm not sure what the climax is. With a movie as boring as this, I donât think there ever will be. Maybe I shouldnât even finish it.
âHow do you expect me to make an effort in our relationship if you wonât let me tell the fans?â he asks. âI want the world to know, so why?â
âYouâre Min Yoongi. Thatâs why. Agust D, Suga, whatever. Youâre perfect in their eyes, and if they find out you have someone like me as a lover-â
âSomeone like you? Whatâs that supposed to mean? You think theyâre gonna look at you like youâre some monster?â he asks, his voice cracking at the last word.
I look away. âIâm not good enough for you. Thereâs just something wrong with me. You have so many pretty fans who deserve your love more than I do.â
This time, he steps closer. When I look at him to tell him to move away, his face is already too close to mine for me to form any words. He places his arms around my body, but he doesnât hug me. He just holds me, and we stay like that for a while.
âNothing is wrong with you,â he says.
I try not to scoff. âDonât lie to me. You know damn right, Iâm not good enough for you.â
âThen whatâs good enough for me? What makes your standards so unrealistically high that you put yourself at the bottom of the spectrum?â
This is it. This is the climax. Itâs that part of the movie where youâre at the edge of your seat, your heart is racing and you are left speechless. This part is when things get a little tricky; it can either go as is or there could be a major plot twist. In this scene, the second option seems a little too far to reach.
But Min Yoongi is a writer. If he can write lyrics, he can alter a storyâs ending. After all, he did start this. Heâs the one who casted me in this film. I only became a character.
âIt doesnât matter what they think of you. It shouldnât matter to you either,â he says.
âBut what if they get mad at you?â
âWhy should they? They donât own me. I love you, and if they canât accept that, then let them be. Itâs not gonna stop me from loving you.â
When he kisses me, it finishes the peak of the plot. The falling action is when he tells me itâs going to be alright, and I believe him. I tell him I love him, and his smile is the denouement.
This time, I could never get tired of looking at him smile because it doesnât hurt anymore.
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