#ymibj

Shane Hollander, forced to come out to his parents (not on his own terms, i mean) after David walks in on him and Ilya. Shane, finally having no reason to hold himself back in front of his parents about his relationship, but still wanting to keep some control of the situation. Shane, deciding that "No Mom, No Dad, you don't need a beat-for-beat playscript of how me and Ilya met." (because there is no amount of panic that could make Shane Hollander tell his parents exact details other than years or some locations). Shane Hollander, who quickly decides in his own stubborn way, to set boundaries with his parents AND enforces the hell out of them.

ENTER:

Ilya Rozanov, constantly missing a mother's presence, since he was twelve and holding Irina Rozanova's cold hand in his own. Ilya, realizing that Shane was so worried about telling his parents he is gay, and with Ilya, NOT because they would hate or hurt him, but because of the immense pressures of his image as a Good Son that Shane's parents often allowed to continue. Ilya Rozanov, not having sufficient defenses in his heart for stopping a mother who is willing to look over his sponserships, his financials (especially not to take anything, but to grow his money!). And now Ilya is allowing a near-unprecedented amount of Yuna Hollander's presence to intertwine with his own.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present - the Yuna & Ilya Boy Mom enmeshment ramble.

what the fuck what the actual fuck did they do to my boy shane. why was 80% of his fucking development off-screen. why is he being put through an actual torture nexus. why is no one taking his fear about literally anything seriously?????? why is he being treated like cassandra of troy. what the fuck.

WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO MY EMPATHETIC BOY ILYA. WHY IS HE BEING MOTHER TERESA TO EVERYONE EXCEPT HIS HUSBAND WTHWTHWTH. WHY IS HE LAUGHING AT SHIT HE SHOULDN'T BE LAUGHING ABOUT.

Dick jokes.

Thinking about TLG and man, the "I choose him. Let's go, Ilya." moment?? IT KEEPS REPLAYING IN MY MIND

I cannot wait to see it on whatever scummy website I manage to watch it on (or if my paychecks in 2027 allow me a bit more freedom with how I spend my money, I'll watch it fr)

Because I just know Hudson Williams will do the best Captain Shane Hollander Voice

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Long road trips through an endless tree-lined street,

to the right, beautiful greenery flows,

and to the left, the train tracks lie above a rocky path.

Above is cloud after cloud, heavy

below is the ending I try to outrun.

My mind is a train, endlessly chugging along.

The trees are hard to find.

It never minds how loud the noise of the horn

can be. To others on the road,

it is a forever night, a dusk, a shaking earth

What can you do when you are the train,

and you are on the tracks?

When you want to run away from it all,

but you stand still on the deadbolts.

How do you convince yourself to slow down?

Can I be honest for a moment?

There is a lump right below my esophagus 

and I can usually pretend its heartburn

but I don’t think about not pretending.

Or I do, but I only ever think.

My thoughts are a train and I am the track,

I brace for impact but I imagine running.

Or I start to run but imagine the impact,

Maybe I look to my right and hope

That I have some green life in my mind.

I don’t know what I would label it

Or maybe I do, I think I do

when I stop pretending and the lump comes up my throat

and my tears escape the dam

Then, I can usually admit it to myself

I’d like to grow love in my mind,

and let it grow through the rocky path 

that my track is built on

And I would like for the train to slow down.

Or to make it off the tracks quick enough.

If I get even more honest then I’d probably say,

I wish my train had a emergency stop.

Or if only I could phone a friend and

get them to drag me to the green trees.