#yelling again

i thought i could take the independent class and change to be able to teach myself and get things done on my own but i didn't try to change hard enough

i felt like i forgot everything i'd learned in the past two prep classes for this one like i didn't learn anything at all

and i guess i didn't!

that's really fucking frustrating though first of all and no one gets how much that upsets me i don't remember anything

i knew i had to try more than ever but i underestimated it and did study but not enough or not right or ugh

but i still fucking tried he can't accuse me of not trying at all heck i didn't fail didn't even get a c but he thinks i don't try don't study at all

i admit i half-assed a lot i did!!!! that was a big thing! i know it's my fault and i didn't try hard ENOUGH didn't do this SOON ENOUGH but heck even i feel like i have time but???

but he doesn't believe i tried he doesn't think i can try that i can change and GOD DO I HATE THAT I HATE THAT I EVEN OPENED UP IN THE FIRST PLACE OR THAT HE ASSUMES ALL THESE THINGS ABOUT ME AND SO DOES THAT GIRL I DISLIKE THAT I'M STUCK WITH THAT I FEEL IS ALWAYS JUDGING ME BOTH OF THEM GOD AND MY CRYING IN FRONT OF THEM WHEN REAL TALK CAME UP 'CAUSE OF ALL THIS SHIT THEY DON'T EVER NEED TO KNOW BUT

IF MY UNHELPFUL TEACHER'S GOING TO "NICELY" PUT ME DOWN ALL THE TIME THEN YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT I'M DROPPING

I'M NOT GOING TO FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS ANYMORE!!!! I DIDN'T EVEN NEED THE CLASS!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO FOCUS ON THE OTHER CLASSES THAT I HAVE A CHANCE IN AND FOCUS ON FIXING MY BAD HABITS WITH THEM I'VE LEARNED A LOT FROM THIS BUT STILL FUCK THAT GUY AND FUCK THAT CLASS

AND YEAH I'M BITCHING ALL IT REALLY HURT WAS MY PRIDE BUT I PHYSICALLY FEEL DREAD BEFORE THAT CLASS EVERYDAY HAVE FOR A WHILE AND I'M TIRED OF IT