"Here ya are," Callum appears from behind, handing Ben a beer in a plastic cup, slightly cool to the touch.
"Cheers," Ben smiles, and Callum comes to stand next to him, leaning over the railing on top of the Vic, looking out over rainbow-coloured crowds, glitter as far as the eye can see.
Ben and Callum both have rainbow flags painted on each cheek, courtesy of Lexi who insisted they'd look out of place without them.
"Good?" Ben asks as he watches Callum take a tentative sip of a brightly coloured drink with a slice of lemon attached to the rim, plus a small shiny umbrella.
Callum's face pulls involuntarily and Ben laughs. "Oh that's sugary!" Callum says, disbelief in his voice, a smile around his mouth as he takes another sip.
The air is warm, but people are dancing anyway, bodies close together, the whole crowd constantly moving.
There's people who've gone all out with their outfits, colourful wigs, immaculate makeup and heels that cannot be comfortable.
Ben spots a few parents, uncles, grandmas; most of them adorned with one rainbow-coloured item, gazing fondly at their loved one taking part in the celebrations.
Almost everyone looks like they're having a good time, and the few that are standing on the sidelines, a cautious look on their faces, they'll get there in a few years as well.
"Y'alright?" Callum interrupts Ben's train of thought, touching a hand to his hip.
Ben turns his head, and looks at Callum. The late afternoon sun falling on his face, covering him in gold. His eyes shimmer, and there's an ease to his posture that makes Ben's heart grow three sizes.
He angles his head and pushes forward slightly, fitting his lips to Callum's.
Callum keeps his eyes closed for a few seconds after Ben's pulled back.
"I'm great," Ben smiles, bringing his beer to his lips and taking a sip, and then, after a few seconds, "I want to feel like this forever."
Callum huffs a light laugh. "Like what? This special mix of sticky and sweaty?"
Ben grins. "You know I don't mind getting dirty."
Callum rolls his eyes at him but can't keep the corners of his mouth from turning up.
"I mean, just," Ben gestures out over the crowd, "this, you know? People being themselves and not giving a shit. Doing what they were born to do."
Callum lightly bumps his hip with Ben's.
"You still love Pride? Even after," he trails off, not wanting to say the words out loud, and he doesn't have to.
Ben looks down for a moment, and then back up again.
"That's not on you, Callum. You're not responsible for your brother's actions."
Callum makes a face that says he disagrees, but Ben talks again.
"Besides, you didn't exactly have an easy time either, I imagine." He says it softly, a little quieter.
They've never really spoken about it, the focus of that year's events mostly on what happened to Ben, but it had crossed his mind that going to Pride, closeted, engaged to a woman, probably didn't do Callum's state of mind any good.
"Easy, no," Callum says, "but it was helpful in the end."
Ben turns his head to look at him, a questioning look on his face.
"I stood in a crowd as a drag queen sang Heather Small's 'Proud'," Callum smiles at the memory, "one arm around Whitney, tears in my eyes. It was surreal, but I think something clicked inside then, even if it took me a while to actually get there."
Ben brushes a hand through Callum's hair. "You never told me that."
Callum presses his lips together. "Bernie looked so happy, and free, like she belonged, and I envied that so much then."
Ben twists his empty cup around in his hand. "How does it feel now?"
Callum drinks the last of his cocktail. "Better. Lighter."
Ben smiles at him.
"For the record," Callum says then, "what you like about them," he points a thumb to the crowd beneath them, "that's what I've always admired about you."
Ben quirks an eyebrow. "What, my ability to pull off hotpants and glitter?"
Callum stands up fully now, as does Ben, facing him as he puts a hand on Ben's waist.
"Whilst I won't dispute that, I meant the defiance. The strength to be who you are and not let anyone take that from you, as hard as some may try."
Ben smiles, throwing an arm around his neck and getting on his toes to kiss Callum.
He tastes like fruit, sugar and cheap rum.
Ben pulls back briefly, a breathy grin, mirroring Callum, staying close.
"Pride looks good on you."
Callum pulls him back in, arms tightening around his waist.
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When Callum steps out of the shower that morning, the sun is just beginning to claw its way over the city, heat filling the tiny bathroom as it blazes orange and bright. Thereâs a note stuck to the back of the door in Benâs loopy handwriting.
Donât be too long, Iâve got your favourite breakfast on the go. Ben xx
Callum towels at his hair and quickly dries himself off, grabs for Benâs dressing gown from one of the hooks on the door, the soft grey one that heâs come to love.Â
At this time, their tiny kitchen is dusted in a blush of pinks and oranges, the sunlight waiting idly at the window. Benâs skin glows in the light, a constant flush clinging to his cheeks, his collarbones and his elbows and knees. Even after all these years, heâs the most gorgeous thing Callumâs ever seen. The sky, with its sun and moon and star, ainât got nothing on Ben. Â
Ben doesnât say much when Callum shuffles into the kitchen for breakfast, but Callum doesnât think anything of it, his boyfriend wonât ever be a morning person. Instead, he just hums a quiet sound of appreciation as he eyes Callumâs attire and plates his breakfast up. Pancakes, with a heap of Nutella.Â
âYour table manners are horrendous,â Ben says, as Callum wipes a lump of chocolate from his bottom lip, and then heâs standing up, picking up the newspaper on the counter before sitting back down across from Callum again and pushing it towards his plate. âHere, read this.â
âUh, thanks,â Callum says, placing it off to the side of the table. âWhy?â
âHey, youâre supposed to actually read it, yâknow,â Ben frowns.
âBut Iâm not finished eating yet,â Callum says slowly, his eyes slow and steady on Benâs as he forks at his pancakes and then bites off a piece.
âNo, Cal, come on,â Ben says, picking up the paper again and pushing it towards him. âThereâs this really hilarious bit at the back, you know, on that announcements page, some lad in the dog house, trying to apologies to his wife. Classic, Iâm telling you.â
âAlright, alright,â Callum makes a face, laughs despite himself, eyes bright and smile a little mischievous, bitten down between his teeth.
He flips open the newspaper, keeps flipping and flipping until heâs near the back, because thatâs where Ben said the funny bit was.
âI still ainât sure anything more important than food,â He says, and he can feel Benâs eyes on his face, skin burning with something anticipated.Â
âJustâjust read it, will you?âÂ
Callum sticks his tongue out at Ben, but does as heâs told because itâs Ben, and if Ben thinks heâll like it, he knows he will. Scanning down the page, he starts to grin because there it is, right there in small print beside a little turquoise bullet point.
Callum reads it out loud, following the words with his finger.
âTo my wonderful wife Lily, I would like to apologies for forgetting to feed your sevenâsevenâbeloved goldfish whilst you were away. Iâll make it up to you,â Callum finishes, and then he grins. âOh, Joe in Manchester really is in the dog house, ainât he? This is gripping news, honestly, thanks for sharing.â
âAlright,â Callum sighs, moving onto the next one. It takes a moment for him to remember where he left off, but then his finger is back on the words, and his voice is falling out into the room, slow and sleepy.Â
âCallum,â he starts, and then pauses, his eyebrows furrowing together in concentration. âUh, I canât imagine my life without you. And I donât want to, either. Will you marry me?â He finishes, eyes burning and blurring all the words and colours together, white noise filling his ears, heart in his throat. âIt says, from BenâBen in Walford.âÂ
When Callum dares to glance up, Ben is looking down at the ground, fingers pulling on a loose thread of table cloth, shaking, his chest rising and falling steadily, mouth pressed in a thin line. Itâs as the first few chords of You & Me Song start to crackle through the speaker, that he finally speaks.
âSounds like a charmer, that Ben.âÂ
âBen,â Callum says, his voice slow, choked and thick, as he glances back down at the paper, running his finger over the words again. Will you marry me, marry me, marry me. âBen, look at me?â
And, with that Ben lifts his eyes back to Callumâs own, gentle and warm, dampening in the corners, with something behind, something new and so familiar all at once. Callum feels everything around him go a little fuzzy, the second they look at each other, the whole room turns into an electric field. He wonders if Ben can see how fast his heart is beating, how hard itâs thumping against his ribs.
âYeah?â Ben whispers, so quiet and flushed.Â
âAre you sure about this?â
Ben stays quiet for a moment, just watching Callum with careful, cautious eyes, full of stars. The stereo is still whistling behind them, sounds of you and me, always, and forever, filling the air, and a buzzing warmth runs through Callum, oozes from his heart into his limbs and fills the whole room.
âYeah,â Ben says finally. âYes, I want you in my life forever, Callum.âÂ
Thereâs a moment, then, suspended, where theyâre just staring at each other with blinding smiles. Calumâs entire face hurts, his eyes leaking beyond his control now, but he canât stop it, canât push it down. He doesnât want to.
âMarry me?â
Every single nerve ending in Callumâs body lights up, blood pulsing through him in a mad rush, a mad scramble, to process everything bright and unexpected, like fireworks. Because this doesnât feel real, thatâs the thing. Heâs loved Ben for so longâloving him like heâd die if he didnât, like heâd drown if he couldnât. His love forBen was like a private constellation, at first, a star growing inside of his belly, bigger and bigger until the light spilt out onto his tongue. And the light stayed, shone brighter with each day, unable to hide itself from the world, and itâs here right now, and itâs making him nod, frantic and rushed like there isnât enough time in the world for this moment. âYes.â
âYes?â Ben repeats, chokes a little, eyes widening, but his smile, well, it could power cities.Â
âYes,â Callum says again, just to taste it. And then he says it once more, just because, because itâs the answer to every question that Ben could ever ask. Will you always love me? Will you stay with me forever? And even past that? Yes, yes, yes. âYes, Iâll marry you, Ben. Shit.â
The room seems to freeze when Callum speaks the words, and they just stare at each other for a moment, a moment thatâs all silent and sun-filled, a clock ticking somewhere in the house, the music drowning out. Callum makes sure to catch everything, tucking pieces of this moment away in his memory, the shutter of his mind clicking in grainy snapshotsâthe way sunlight shifts over Benâs face in soft patterns, his eyelashes casting shadows across his cheekbones, the stray tear tracking down his face like a pearl drop, his mouth is slightly parted, bottom lip bitten red raw with nerves. And suddenly, pathetically, Callum wants to kiss him, never stop kissing him.
Ben takes a step forward, says, âCal,â and thatâs all it takes, really.
They kiss messily, so fast, too fast, tongue and teeth and thudding hearts.
âI love you,â Callum chokes out. âBen, youâyouâre the best thing thatâs ever happened to me.â
Thereâs that dizzy feeling again, like heâs on a slow-moving carousel and everything around him is blurring in and out of focus, leaving just him and Ben and the slow morning sun, him and Ben and the humming of the birds, him and Ben and the rest of their lives.
âI love you too,â Ben gasps out between kisses, pressing in hard. âIâve wanted to do this for so long. Marry you.â
âBenâ Callum says again, because he canât say anything else.
âYou have no idea,â another searing kiss, a hot press of their bodies, âhow much you mean to me.â
âHow could I not?â Callum says, then heâs exhaling sharply as Ben bites at his bottom lip, laughing into Callumâs mouth as he kisses back, fast and then faster, Callumâs body becoming nothing but a kaleidoscope of sun and stars and blood, blood buzzing through his veins like static, buzzing in his ears, so loud that itâs nothing but a swimming sound that spells out Ben, Ben, Ben.
âOh, waitââ Ben says, his voice sudden, rushed.
Callum blinks, frowning as Ben shoves his hand into one of his back pockets and pulls out a little black velvet box. Callum stares at it for a moment, and then the reality of everything rushes into place, and he laughs, loud and bold. âBenââ
Ben makes a face. âItâs what Iâm supposed to do, isnât it?â
Callum nods, still giggling. âWell, yeah, but likeââ
âJust shut up and give me your hand, would you? I donât have all day.â
âYes you do,â Callum says, but he holds out his hand anyways.
And thereâs a moment where Callum literally thinks his heart stops.
Itâs the moment when Ben opens up the ring box and the silver inside catches the light of the sun, and Callum suddenly realises that this is real, this is real life and heâs going to marry his best friend in the entire world.
âShit,â Callum breathes, his voice barely a whisper.
âWhat do you think?â Ben asks suddenly, voice careful and cautious.
âWhatâs this on the side?â Callum questions, eyebrows furrowed down at the ring.Â
âOh,â Ben says, a flush flooding his cheek, he looks embarrassed, almost. âItâs our initials, look.â
B + C. Forever.
âBen,â Callum says, a little dazed, mouth wet and eyes fuzzy. âThatâsâI love it. Itâs perfect. Youâre perfect. I love youâ
Ben smiles. âThatâs good to know.â
When mouths touch again, and itâs molten, soft and melty and everything, Benâs bottom lip caught wetly between Callumâs own. He has to let out a shudder of a breath, toes curling up so hard it hurts as Benâs fingers gradually start to twist in his hair, pulling him closer.Â
âI want this too, yâknow, always have,â Callum starts as Benâs lips leave a train down to his collarbone. Callum fists a hand in the back of his jumper, pulling him in close, close, closer. âI want you forever, in this life and maybe even the next one.â
âWhat dâya mean, maybe?â Ben teases.
âIf you still look as good, I mean,â Callum finishes.
âHm,â Ben ponders, âwell, Iâd still love you if you were the sun, and I was the moon, yâknow?âÂ
And that, that hits Callum right in the core of his heart, feels it twisting and thumping with emotion. He lets out a little huff of teary laughter, smiling blearily through it as Ben continues. With every word, he feels everything around him swirling, soaring. âYouâll never feel like youâre alone again, Callum,â eyes earnest and purposed, smiling around the words. âIâm your home, and youâre mine.âÂ
Theyâre forever, him and Ben. This moment, right now, began years ago, with that first look, that first touch, and theyâll be in this moment forever. There wonât ever be an end to this feeling, or an end to the two of them. Not even when theyâre gone from the world, because Callum knows that whatever happens, theyâll find each other in every world, up in the sky with the rest of the stars or in the next life.
i only want to see the light (that shines behind your eyes)
It was Ben's favourite thing, possibly in the world, how easily Callum blushes. It's something he recognised that Callum did from their very first kiss, even though his face was only illuminated by street lights and the moon. Since then, it's happened almost daily. Every single time Ben calls his boyfriend 'beautiful', his cheeks flush a shade of rosy pink; or when he presses a fluttery kiss to Callum's lips in public, his ears start to burn, growing darker by the second.
Callum hates it though. He always has. Ever since he was young, he's never liked how his face morphs from his normal shade to bright red, and he especially doesn't like how he can feel it happen every single time, as though there's no escaping it. That's why, whenever it happens now, he's fixated on looking anywhere but Ben, contorting his face into his body in an attempt to hide it.
Ben's sat on top of Callum, both of them hidden from the world underneath their bedsheets. It's warm, possibly too warm, but neither of them really care. Callum's hands are on Ben's waist, thumbs circling his skin, creating non-existent patterns over his flesh. There's lazy smiles on both their faces, somehow only just waking up from a deep sleep, even though they've been awake for a while. Ben's thighs are straddling Callum, placed at either side of his waist, and Callum can't help but look up at Ben through tired eyes. His hair is free of any products, having got into bed fresh out of the shower last night. It falls down against his forehead and curls into his eyes, but he doesn't have it in him to move his hands from on Ben's body, just to move his hair.Â
Ben moves his hands from Callum's chest, and traces his fingers up to his cheek, gently pushing Callum's hair out of the way of his eyes. He curls it around near his ear, and pulls his hand away, admiring Callum. He really does look beautiful, even if he hates it when Ben calls him that. He's got a thin layer of stubble pushing out of his skin, having not had the energy to get out of bed, let alone shave. Faint freckles litter his skin, only ever really visible if you get close to him, unless the sun comes out and they become slightly more prominent. His eyes are a unique shade of blue, swirled in with green and a few flecks of golden yellow, brightening his eyes up. Ben leans down silently, putting his weight on his hands that are now positioned at either side of Callum's shoulders, and Callum must think he wants a cuddle, because his hands slide up from Ben's waist to crowd around his back, holding them both in place. He grins, feeling Callum's hands on his back, the warmth of his palms against his skin, reminding him off home, and suddenly Ben is so close to Callum and he loves it. He presses a swift kiss to Callum's nose, before moving to the side slightly, and his nose his brushing against Callum's cheek, lips puckered up to press against Callum's skin and can feel the heat exuding from him.Â
He's blushing again.
Callum pushes his face against Ben's, trying to disguise his blushing cheeks, but Ben pulls back, sitting half up as he watches Callum intensely. He leans on just one arm, and puts his right hand on Callum's cheek, running his thumb over his burning skin, and he smiles. "I think it's adorable how easily you blush." Ben speaks softly.Â
"I hate it." Callum groans, rolling his face sideways, trying to obscure his face from view.
Ben pushes his thumb under Callum's chin, and moves his face so that Callum's looking at him again. "I know you do, but I love it. I love knowing I'm the only one who gets to make you look like this."Â
Callum rolls his eyes, a smile finding its way across his lips. "Shut up and kiss me."
i got @yasisworld for blog appreciation day so let me tell you a few things about yasi and her blog:
what i love about their blogđ¸:
honestly such a well-organized multifandom blog, filled with amazing shows, movies, books and quotes. everything is tagged so even if you donât like something, you can blacklist it (even though i donât know why you would, her taste is chefs kiss). the pale blue is such a pretty choice as a background color and i love the minimalistic theme.
what i love about themđş:
yasi is honestly such a sunshine! sheâs always so positive and friendly, but she also isnât afraid to say it like it is. sheâs such an amazing and versatile fic writer as well and chances are your favorite ballum fic was written by her (because mine was!). she also has impeccable taste in books and actually inspired me to read a few books she reblogged, for which iâm eternally grateful. sheâs nice to everyone and makes it so easy to feel welcomed in this fandom.
in conclusion, yasi not only has a great and organized multifandom blog but she also has such a great personality! i really advise you to follow her (if you didnât already) and show her your love because she definitely deserves it!đ
oh, and definitely read all of her amazing fics!â¨
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Das mit der Kennzeichnung auf der Waffe wusste ich gar nicht. Ist dann natĂźrlich schĂśn doof, dass man genau das in der Szene sehen kann đđđ Auch wenn wir wissen, dass es keine echte Waffe ist đ
Ich hab leider doch keinen Screenshot gemacht (ich habs mir anscheinend immer nur vorgenommen), aber ich musste so lachen als mir das aufgefallen ist. Die meisten solcher Kennzeichnungen wĂźrde ich wahrscheinlich auch nicht erkennen, aber das PTB im Kreis von den Schreckschusswaffen ist so schĂśn markant đ
Ich mein, ist klar, dass die da nicht mit echten Waffen hantieren, und in dem speziellen Fall musste er ja damit auch den âWarnschussâ abgeben kĂśnnen, fĂźr ânormaleâ Szenen haben sie bestimmt auch andere Requisiten, aber hätte man das nicht... anders filmen kĂśnnen? Digital bearbeiten kĂśnnen? Andererseits, wer achtet normalerweise schon auf sowas đ¤ˇââď¸đ
And Iâm gonna keep reblogging stuff (or even maybe post some original content... who knows...)  because I really liked it, the main plot was so good, i kept being like đ with adam and leo and i canât wait to know more about their backstory, especially because of how the film ended!!! Thank you and luisa for the ârecommendationâ ;)Â
