#xiley

The American military and the American nuclear family demonstrate a shared power structure, something which is highlighted within Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The nuclear family is a familial system consisting of one father, one mother, and at least one child—individuals under it are expected to adhere to strict gender ideals. Within this structure, parents control the freedoms, rights, actions, and quality of life of their children and their children's lives. Members of the US military sign ownership of their bodies to the government until they either complete their enlistment or die. It is viewed as a betrayal to depart from either system, and individuals who do so are punished. Xander and Riley exemplify these systems.  

The military itself is regarded as a representation of masculinity, glorified as exhibiting all of the masculine ideals, such as bravery, strength, perseverance, and resolve. The narrative highlights this through various scenes and details, such as the Initiative consisting primarily of male soldiers. The typical American nuclear family is itself a World War II construct, created to forge soldiers for the war. Within this structure, the ideal soldier was not created to be the ideal man; the ideal man was created to be the ideal soldier. 

 Xander’s insecurities lead him to romanticize this ideal, often attempting to embody it. Xander’s glorification of the military is first seen in 2x06, where he chooses to become a soldier for Halloween.

He dons the costume of masculine idealism and ultimately becomes a projection of it through Ethan Rayne’s spell. This idolization is seen once more in 4x22, where Xander chooses Apocalypse Now for his movie night with Buffy, Willow, and Giles. The spell which exhausted them in 4x21 used Xander as a metaphorical heart, and within 4x22, the First Slayer attempts to rip his heart out in vengeance. This draws not only a parallel to Riley’s heart surgery, but to the aforementioned film. Notably, Apocalypse Now is inspired by the novel Heart of Darkness and the documentary following the creation of the film is titled Hearts of Darkness. These connections function to signal Xander’s connection and attitudes towards the military, and masculinity overall. 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer purposefully emphasizes the military’s symbolism and the similarities between these structures to criticize them and the ideals which they uphold. 

The soldiers of the Initiative are military property and share a sense of familial kinship. Riley, for instance, is both a child of Walsh and a soldier under her. In 4x14, Adam claims that "[Riley] and [he] were [Walsh’s] favourite children.” Adam then claims this makes them brothers, the same term that Riley had previously used to refer to his fellow soldiers. 

It is repeatedly highlighted that Walsh shaped Riley to her own ideals—this is both a representation of this power structure and an illustration of how masculinity within the nuclear family functions. The child is defined by their parents, by what is asked of them rather than by what they are. Adam explains in 4x14 that Walsh is Riley’s mother because she "shaped his basic operating system.” In this, he refers to Riley’s behaviours, desires, thoughts, feelings, and actions. Riley is made into a mirror of his metaphorical mother’s desire, rather than of his own desires. He is shaped by his parent; he is the perfect obedient child. Crucially, he does not possess desires of his own, since the ideals of masculinity and soldiership programmed into him have become entwined with his own sense of self. Riley states that he is, “how they trained [him],” and that, “All [his] life, it’s what [he’d] been groomed to do.” 

Not only is he partially aware of his own programming, despite denying it to Adam, but he also directly acknowledges the predatory nature of the Initiative in referring to their behaviour as grooming. Spike notes the same factors, saying in 5x01 that "You can take the boy out of the Initiative, but you can’t take the Initiative out of the boy.” In this, it is acknowledged that even outside of the environment that programmed him, the desires and ideals which it gave him cannot be removed. These desires are a form of parasite, and this implanted drive to masculinity can be seen both explicitly through his behaviours, and implicitly through certain dialogues and allegories.

 (Notably, in regard to Riley’s desires, the ball is used as a motif representing masculinity on at least two occasions. In various episodes, a poster can be seen on his wall with pictures of various sports balls; under it is the caption "Balls. Too bad there’s only two that matter.” Within their universe, this is likely a simple joke about testicles. However, balls are viewed as a symbol of bravery and strength—if a man is cowardly, he is told he needs to “grow some balls.” They are an undoubtedly masculine symbol. To the audience, this asserts that to Riley, masculinity is all that matters. In one particular scene in 4x11, Riley fails to throw a ball into the net above his door, just as Buffy comes in. Again, later in 5x01, a ball “fails” in Buffy’s presence, when she throws one to him so hard it deflates—representing his emasculation. The ball’s “failure” is his own perceived failure. Additionally, the “failure” of Buffy to conform to the nuclear family’s ideals of feminine weakness is the ultimate block in their relationship and the ultimate cause of Riley’s dissatisfaction. The ball is a symbol of masculinity, and it cannot survive the presence of a strong woman.)

As previously mentioned, within the nuclear family, gender ideals are carved into children from birth. Both children and soldiers are conditioned to obey unconditionally. This programming is inherently a violation of the individual's body and mind—something heavily emphasized through Xander and Riley’s military training. In 2x06, Xander is forcibly transformed into his Halloween costume, making him a soldier (a “real man”) against his will. In Xander’s nightmare in 4x22, he runs from his father knocking at the basement door. Riley explicitly states that he was groomed into his behaviour from birth.

To both of them, the most fearful and powerful thing is a parent. They are programmed to fear. Later, Riley is revealed to have a behaviour modification chip implanted within him, extending the concept of his programming from metaphorical to literal. Through their stories, the hypocrisy of masculinity can clearly be seen. To be masculine is to be strong, yet, to be masculine is also to be violated internally by society. 

However, while Riley possesses partial awareness of his own programming, he still denies its existence. In response to Adam’s assertion about his programming, he responds, “I cannot be programmed, I’m a man.” While in the context of Adam’s monster, human, and technological lineage, it may seem that Riley simply refers to his own humanity, this can also be interpreted as a claim about masculinity. In it, he says that it is because he is a man that he cannot be programmed. This asserts that masculinity is inalterable, unchanging. There lies another paradox of masculinity—it is both programmed and unyielding. It is meant to be strong, but it stems from the weakness of being carved into the ideal of someone other than yourself.

Masculine ideals are enforced not only through military ideals and familial power structures but also through society, the self, and the subconscious. The idea of self-objectification and self-voyeurism  is represented in Xander’s story through his dream in 4x22. Within it, one scene features two Xanders—Xander at the playground, talking and moving, and Xander at the ice cream truck, watching himself. The Xander within the ice cream truck does not move until the other Xander leaves, because the one within the truck represents ‘the self’ as a passive observer. Xander watches over himself within his own mind, forcing himself consciously and unconsciously to conform to societal ideals of masculinity.

(Riley is also observed, not by himself, but by society—as represented by the camera Walsh hid within his room. This camera additionally functions as another symbol of the child’s lack of autonomy under the nuclear family, just like the absence of a lock on Xander’s basement door.)

This performance of gendered ideals is emphasized once more in the dream, when Xander reenacts the film Apocalypse Now as the soldier. In this section of the dream, Snyder insists to him that he is not a soldier. The performance signifies both the performance of masculinity and the falseness of that act, connecting thematically to his Halloween costume in 2x06. Like many men, Xander imitates the ideal he cannot reach. 

Riley is a perfect representation of the nuclear family and the American dream. His backstory emphasizes this—born and raised in Iowa, living in a rural setting, visiting his grandparents' farm every Thanksgiving. The vision of his childhood is purposefully idealistic, Riley himself likening it to a “Grant Wood painting.”

(Notably, the painter Grant Wood participated in various art movements, including the American Regionalist movement, which arose as a response to the Great Depression. The movement has been described as conservative and traditionalist, similar to the ideals of masculinity derived from the nuclear family.)

This comparison is not the only time in which the idealistic nature of his past is intentionally emphasized within the narrative. Upon discovering his employment at the Initiative, Buffy asks if anything he told her about his past was even “real.” Within their universe, she refers to the prospect of him living under a false identity. However, on a meta level, this refers to the unreal nature of the masculine ideal. If Riley represents an impossible ideal, he himself cannot be possible.

The parallels drawn between Xander and Riley highlight their differences in relation to the masculine ideal—Xander is an imitation of the unattainable ideal, and Riley is a representation of that. In Xander’s dream (4x22), he pictures himself as the soldier from Apocalypse Now, a thing that becomes more relevant in 5x10 when Riley is dispatched to the jungle, much like the soldier from that film. Xander does not simply envy Riley; he wants to become him—because Riley is both more than and less than a person or a character. He is an ideal; to Xander, Riley is the dream that he cannot obtain. He takes Buffy’s criticism of Riley in 5x10 as personal criticism, because it questions his own desires and values. To criticize Riley is to criticize him, his ideals, and all that he has been taught. To criticize Riley is to criticize the construct of the ideal man. He projects onto this ideal and glorifies it to the greatest degree—despite knowing that he has not become, and cannot become, the embodiment of it. While Xander is a false soldier, taught the military way by Ethan’s spell, Riley is a real soldier, programmed by his ‘mother.’ If the ideal is not satisfactory, how can he, who is not ideal, be deemed satisfactory? 

Riley’s status as a representation of masculinity entails that he cannot stay within the narrative longterm. In a way, he is not a “true” character. Regardless of his changing morals and brief dreams of anarchism, Riley returns to that which he has lived in, falling back to his military patterns and masculine ideals when his relationship with Buffy deteriorates. He cannot escape his conditioning, and thus, he cannot escape the ideal he embodies. His departure in 5x10 is necessitated by his return to comfort. His brief visit in 6x15 demonstrates the continuation of this false ideal; he obtains a beautiful wife, and he continues his career in the military.

His and his wife’s exit in 6x15 is fast and almost fantastical, as they climb the ladder to their helicopter together. His return is brief, only necessary to showcase a quick vision of an impossible dream. Xander showcases the reality of that dream, suffering what can only be described as a “nuclear meltdown” when a demon forces him to confront his hidden fears the day of his wedding. Riley represents the unattainable masculine ideal, and Xander represents those who chase it—both characters functioning to tell the audience of the impossibility of the nuclear family's ideals.