[ His face was smeared with a dirty look,
an outlet for his frustrations and fears.
He knew she was right,
but it wasn’t her place,
who was she to accuse him
of being broken in the first place.
She was just like him,
a hunter,
someone who grew up quickly,
and forsake everything
that could be considered moral.
She had no right
to pass judgement on him.
She who was just as broken,
who had just as many fissures
in her makeup as he.
He didn’t need fixing
any more than she did.
( Or so he told himself. )
And he didn’t answer to her.
She was what?
Sixteen?
At her age he was killing shit,
and cleaning his guns.
Whereas she spent her time
fighting too. ]
❝ As if you’ve got any right to talk, kid.
You’re just as screwed all to hell as I am. ❞
[ His tone scathingly bitter,
though as much as he wished he were angry at her
he wasn’t,
he was angry with John,
with himself.
He was angry with the way of the world
that a child could be raised to kill
and taught that it was justice
rather than murder. ]
❝Who the hell are you?
I didn’t ask you to fix me,
there ain’t no fixing.
I’m just a pawn in the war between good and evil.
And so are you.❞
[ His words are like a slap in the face,
harsh and unaccounted for,
but she should have expected it.
Wasn't that the problem?
They were too alike,
both were far too b r o k e n,
to mend the broken pieces of the other.
She needed someone to hold her together.
But it still hurts, hurts like a fire,
burning hot with rage and pain,
it's red hot, and she has no idea,
how is she to defend herself,
when the one dealing he blows,
is one she could never hold a weapon up to?
She hadn't meant it as an attack,
all she'd wanted to do was fix it,
fix him, fix herself, fix them.
Was it as hopeless as he sounded?
Were they so hopeless? ]
❝Oh, so now I'm a kid, is that it?
What happened to before?
You know better than anyone,
I'm not like other girls my age.❞
[ She's dealt with far too much,
s e e n too much,
dwelled within too much darkness,
to be a normal girl, to be a mere kid.
Sometimes she wished for it to be different,
Oftentimes she wondered what it would be like,
to be normal, to not ache every second,
of every day. To b r e a t h e easily.
But then she wouldn't be her, would she?
She doesn't even know how to be normal. ]
❝That's the problem, Dean!
You won't let anyone in,
that's what I meant,
when I said you can't be fixed.
You can't until you let someone.
It's okay to hurt, it's okay to be human.
You didn't have to ask, I want to.
Because guess what?
We aren't pawns on a chessboard,
we're no knights, no soldiers marching.❞
[ Oftentimes they were monsters,
it was so easy to become one,
--but they didn't have to be. ]
❝We can walk away, from all of this.
But we don't. Not because we're pawns,
no Dean, we do it because we care,
because we're human.
Is it so hard to believe that we deserve it?
That we sometimes need to be saved, too?❞
[ Because it got tiring, being the heros.
Show me a hero,
and I'll write you a tragedy.
A tragedy was exactly what they were,
but they didn't have to be. ]
