After much deliberating and anguishing, I made the painful decision last night to cancel my trip to @xemmaloveskillianx‘s wedding (which she has been absolutely understanding about - not that I expected any less!). I had been back and forth on the matter all week, but then I came back from binging The Witcher last night to see the absolute clusterfuck that was DFW... and guess which is one of the airports I would have been flying into?
Yep. So that made up my mind, even though it’s something I do not wish I had to do and I definitely feel terrible about. I just can’t risk it. Not just for myself, but especially for my mom. I am her primary caretaker and, if every goes as is currently scheduled now, she’s about to have major back surgery on Tuesday. So she’ll be at an even bigger high risk than she already is... and I’m the one who will be with her more than anybody else.
I can’t put her at risk by being foolish and going on a trip I ultimately do not need to take, no matter how much it pains me to not go because it’s for one of my best mates and I have been looking forward to the trip for a while now.
1. I have been openly posting about going and now I’m not and I don’t want anybody to think is has to do with anything other than this damn virus. That is the sole reason I will no longer be going. And of course, as I said, Kristin has been completely understanding.
2. I wanna make sure I set myself to the same expectations I have for everyone else. This was a personal sacrifice I knew I had to make for the health of those closest to me, who are most at risk of being adversely effected by this pandemic. It is my responsibility to behave smartly and unselfishly. I won’t be the reason people around me get sick, as much as I can possibly help it at least.
So yeah. Hard decision made. It sucks, like pretty much everything else that’s going on in the world right now.