#wtnvoutofcontext

"If you are experiencing one- well, you can't hear me, can you?"

Chad Bowinger, who lives in the Shambling Orphan housing development down by the Haunted Baseball Diamond, said “It is a sadness, what we do to each other. It is a weeping, and a gnashing of teeth."

"Please turn on your headlights, and SLOW YOUR VEHICLE."

"Scientists say that the 20% must go somewhere, because of something to do with something called thermodynamic laws, but police officials remind us that scientists are comedians, and that they should stick to comedy."

"The City Council has issued a statement indicating that they forgot that they had vacation plans this week, and so are currently on a plane to Miami, as they had been planning and looking forward to for some time."

"Good," says the first.

"A quiet caravan of flatbed trucks rolled into town last night."

"This massive sandstorm has already damaged several apartments and malls in the northwest part of town, and it seems to be on course for even more costly wreckage."