#wrstarter

This is a PSA for the dumbfuck UMWR students who think it's a fun time to come in to Flipped and chuck things at Flappy to try and knock him down off the ceiling. If I catch you (and I will catch you), I will dump a bottle of maple syrup on your head. No I'm not kidding.

In honor of the fact it's my birthday in like a week, I demand that you tell me which bear is the cutest:

So apparently The Black Lagoon has a limit on how much coffee they can legally give you in good conscience. Which is less than what I currently need. And what's worse is there's some sort of caffeine conspiracy between the local baristas. I've been blacklisted for having too much caffeine this week.

To everyone at the potluck who walked right by my banana bread in favor of the mayonnaise bowl... it is your loss. My cooking is excellent. And if you were so desperate for mayonnaise, you would have enjoyed consuming my banana bread, too, because I used plenty of mayonnaise. It was secondary only to the beige cookies. At least that plate was empty.

I'm an inspirational person with a lot of good ideas, and I'm happy to be a soundboard for any ugly sweaters this year. I'm sure we can come to an equally beneficial arrangement, especially if you'd like to treat me to dinner.

Someone keeps leaving cryptid-related romance novels at my hotel room door. 'Alone With Bigfoot' and 'The Goatman Cometh' are some of the hits. I'm throwing these away. Why me? What have I done to deserve this?

Super congested right now thanks to becoming Goo Girl irl. Does anyone have any suggestions for clearing this crap out? I feel like I can't breathe. Not that I need to, but damn. Even this ain't fun for a dead girl. I've taken like 6 showers already since coming home.