Disintegration

It was the early evening, and the sun had just set, a perfect time for a leisurely stroll through the Path of Memories in Downtown. There were a few people walking about, which helped Cassius to feel more at ease. As he walked, he looked at the names, not recognizing a single one. He shrugged, and continued on his way. It was halfway through his walk that he stopped in his tracks to see several sentient rubber ducks walk in front of him. He frowned, then blinked a few times. They didn’t disappear. Cassius looked around, and only one person seemed to stop to look at the rubber ducks that were quacking away and waddling around.

Cassius took a few steps back, falling in step with the stranger that was watching. “Surely this has a source, right?” He spoke with a raised brow. The ducks seemed to loop around and walk back through the stones with names on them. Cassius blinked again. “Do we…” he trailed off, taking a step forward to watch the ducks as they tucked behind a bush. “Do we follow it?” 

Felix got restless sometimes. Itchy feet, their mother used to call it fondly, laughing at the way they’d disappear for long walks at random intervals throughout the day. It wasn’t something they’d grown out of, though they suspected their father wished they would. Their life was less their own now than it had been when they were a kid — something almost ironic, considering the way most people expected the opposite to be true of aging children — but they still had time to scratch their ‘itchy feet’ every now and again. They couldn’t go as far as they might like, but that was all right. They liked Downtown just fine.

Except… Downtown was just as weird as the rest of Wicked’s Rest, sometimes. Felix thought they were imagining it at first, the ducks. They were one of those ‘this can’t be real’ things that always ended up being real anyway. At least they weren’t the only one seeing it — the man beside them seemed equally perplexed. “Do you mean, like… a giant mama duck?” Felix squinted at the ducks, considering. They could very well be leading to something that wanted to eat them both, but… Felix was curious. “I will if you will,” he offered, turning to give the stranger a small smile.

—

After living in this town long enough, Cassius learned to accept that not everything was as it seemed most of the time. Rubber ducks marching around the park in the middle of downtown wasn’t something that surprised him nearly as much as it should have. He would lie to himself if he said he didn’t want to know who created the ducks. Sure, he was probably asking for trouble, but maybe that’s what he wanted sometimes. So in another pure moment of fuck it, Cassius nodded his head to the stranger before quietly tiptoeing up to the bush that the rubber ducks had disappeared behind.  

Peaking his head around the bush, Cassius’s eyes went wide as saucers. It looked… like one of those Pokemon. He furrowed his eyebrows as if he couldn’t believe what he saw. This thing was… painting things into reality. It painted up another rubber duck and joined the growing pile of sentient ducks. Cassius quickly ducked himself behind the bush again before the creature caught him, then looked to Felix with that same wide-eyed expression plastered onto his face. 

The thing wasn’t harming anyone, just channeling a bunch of ducks into existence. His expression went from surprised to confused, gesturing for Felix to follow him back to the path where the lamoodle wouldn’t know they were too close. Once they’d snuck back, Cassius shook his head. “I mean, what do we do? Do we… do we let it? That’s a Pokemon, right?” 

There was some relief when the stranger agreed to accompany Felix in their investigation. They probably would have gone on their own if he’d said no — their curiosity far outweighed their sense of self preservation — but it felt much safer to use the buddy system. After all, for all they knew, this was some kind of a trap that they needed to be worried about. It wouldn’t have been the first time that some monster was smart enough to lure people into a trap. With two people, Felix figured, they could fight off whatever it might be.

Felix let the stranger take the lead, trailing behind him and peering around the bush when they got close. Whatever they’d expected to see, it wasn’t… this. Some strange, lamb-like creature using its tail as a brush to paint ducks into reality? Somehow, Wicked’s Rest never failed to surprise them. Perplexed, they met the stranger’s eye with an owlish, wide-eyed blink.

It took them a moment to follow when the man motioned for them to; they were a little entranced by the whole ‘painting lamb’ situation. But, after a moment, they stumbled back towards the stranger, presumably out of earshot of the creature. (Could they be sure? How good was a lamb-creature’s hearing?) “Not unless it’s one of those new-gen Pokemon that they added. I mean, it wasn’t a Pokemon when I was a kid. I had them all memorized. I would have remembered that one. I saw a Pikachu once, though. In a swamp.” Not relevant. “It’s not hurting anyone, is it?”

—

Blinking at the rapid-fire of information that Felix was throwing their way, Cassius shook his head. “Good for you,” he replied with a confused raise of his brow. A pikachu? Really? Then, the vampire crossed his arms over his chest after Felix had presented him with a good question. “No, I suppose they aren’t.” His frown deepened, looking to the stranger. “Not yet, anyway. Who’s to say someone won’t try and hurt it and before we know it, he’s attacking in self-defense?” The vampire bit at his lower lip, brows furrowing as he tried to think of a way to get it out of there safely without getting himself hurt. 

This creature, whatever it was, was capable of creating something from nothing with his brush. Maybe it would be a better idea to leave well enough alone and not play hero. The worry reflected onto Cassius’s face, then took a deep breath. “Maybe we should just pretend we never saw it and walk away?” He suggested as an alternative to his previous suggestion that was beginning to become more and more of a bad idea. 

As he continued to think, the ducks came along again, marching in a row, letting out little quacks as they paraded around the park. Cassius blinked a few times, just to make sure that he wasn’t seeing things. Nope, they were still there. He looked to Felix, hoping they had come up with a better idea that he had in the few minutes it took to watch the sentient rubber ducks make their way around the park.

—

Felix had seen far stranger things in this town than the Pikachu in the swamp. And, sure, they’d been high on ballybog juice at the time, but they were pretty sure they were remembering correctly. And they were pretty sure they were right about this, too. The little creature, painting with its tail and bringing ducks to life, wasn’t doing any harm. “If someone attacks it and it fights back… that’s on them, right? They shouldn’t attack something that’s just standing there, just minding its own business. It isn’t right.” They tried — and failed — not to think of their mother, shot dead in the woods just because someone was afraid of her. Fear didn’t excuse violence. It couldn’t. It didn’t absolve their mother’s killers of what they’d done, and it didn’t absolve their father of his reaction, either. It also didn’t absolve Felix or the things he’d done. They knew that.

The idea of leaving the little creature alone was much more agreeable to Felix, and they found themself nodding. “I don’t want to bother it,” they admitted. “It looks peaceful. Like it’s enjoying itself.” But… wouldn’t someone else see the rubber ducks and follow them, just as Felix and Cassius had? What if whoever did was less willing to leave well enough alone? Felix worried their lip between their teeth, considering.

“Maybe we should pick up the ducks,” they said uncertainly. “Take them somewhere so that no one else finds the little guy.” Would the ducks remain sentient indefinitely, or was there a time limit on their existence within reality? Should they release them in the park, or just keep them comfortable until they faded out of the world the same way they’d faded into it? Felix didn’t know what the right answer was. They didn’t know if there was one.

—

Cassius frowned, noticing the very real worry that spiked in the stranger’s disposition. “I’m just worried about it getting hurt by someone who does attack it.” Cassius watched the ducks for another moment before continuing. “Then again, if it can paint up anything, I’m sure it knows what it’s doing, hm?” The vampire relented finally, then nodded his head. “Yeah, we’ll leave it alone.” He didn’t want to hurt it or get himself hurt in the process of transporting the thing to wherever it would be safer for it. 

“Do you think it’d notice the ducks go missing, though?” Cassius added with a frown, watching as the rubber ducks quacked and continued on their little parade path. No matter how he looked at the situation, there wasn’t a set solution that made everyone happy. The blonde was silent momentarily as his eyes tracked the ducks. Finally, the rubber ducks came wrapping around toward them, and Cassius began to pluck them up one by one into his arms. Suddenly, his arms were full of sentient rubber ducks. 

For a moment, the vampire wasn’t sure if this could be real. Something so jovial and peaceful about these rubber ducks simply having a good time caused the blonde to relax and enjoy himself more. Cassius turned to Felix, hoping they had an idea of what to do next .”Where do we bring them, to a bubble bath?” He questioned with an amused twitch of a smile.

“Do you think it can really paint anything?” All they’d seen it paint so far was ducks. And, sure, it would be pretty niche if there was a supernatural creature whose only power was painting rubber ducks and bringing them to life, but… hadn’t Felix seen weirder? To an outsider, jaguar shifters who always originated from the same community of people was probably a strangely niche thing. Who were they to say if this creature was too specific to be a certain way?

Felix looked to the creature again, who seemed lost in its canvas. “I don’t think it’s paying a lot of attention,” he mused quietly. They scooped up an armful of ducks all their own, quietly shushing a few when they squeaked in response. (Not quacked — squeaked. Just like actual rubber ducks. This was weird. This was a really weird one.)

Of course, the next question wasn’t really one Felix had come up with an answer for just yet. “Maybe… a pond? Um, or maybe they would like a bathtub. Do you have a bathtub?” Felix’s apartment only had a shower, and their sink definitely wasn’t big enough to fit this many rubber ducks. Should they ask Natalia? She’d probably be ecstatic about the concept. “Or… I don’t know. I don’t know! Do you think their natural habitat is like normal ducks, or are they rubber first and duck second?”

—

Cassius thought about Felix’s question momentarily, then shrugged his shoulders helplessly. “Well, he was able to create the sentient rubber ducks, wasn’t he?” He finally pointed out, holding the strange squeaking ducks in his arms. They didn’t seem to be distressed. They just seemed to want to keep waddling around with their little rubber duck feet. Wait, did they have feet? Cassius looked down, noticing that they did not have feet. How were they waddling around? He decided that the more he thought about it, the more it would hurt his head. 

“Once they had all their ducks in a row, so to speak, Cassius nodded his head toward the parking lot. “We’ll put them in my car and I’ll take them back to my house, put them in the bathtub and hope that something else comes to mind.” He bit down on his lower lip, realizing how much explaining he was going to have to do to Richard and Zofia. That was a problem for later. 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do with these suddenly alive rubber ducks. Do I sell them? Do I set them free somewhere?” As they walked to his car, Cassius wracked his brain with some idea that didn’t come. “Man, this is a bad idea from start to finish.” He finally admitted with a groan.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he can do anything. Like, for all we know, it’s just sentient rubber ducks that he can make, right? We haven’t seen him paint anything else. Or maybe he can only make nonviolent things, or something like that! We don’t know the rules here.” Unless Cassius had run into something like this before, of course. Felix certainly hadn’t, and Felix had learned that, in this world, it was best not to make assumptions. Rubber ducks that waddled around on their rubber bottoms seemed impossible, but that didn’t mean every impossible thing was true.

The solution sounded like a good one, so Felix nodded. “Okay,” they agreed, readjusting their grip on their armful of rubber ducks. There were a lot of them; privately, Felix wondered how large Cassius’s bathtub was. Would he really have room for so many? It was hard to imagine, but Felix didn’t want to question it for fear of being asked to find a better solution. “We might have to make more than one trip?” There were a lot of ducks.

“Don’t sell them.” Felix sounded offended at the very concept. “They’re sentient. You can’t sell them to just anyone. You don’t know what someone would do with them.” The idea of the ducks being taken advantage of somehow — used for a profit in some display, dissected in an attempt to find out how they worked, even just given to someone not equipped to raise them properly — made Felix feel a little sick. “We’ll figure something out. Just don’t sell them.”

—

There were an awfully large amount of ducks. So many that Felix might be right. There were too many for one trip alone. “This is a really stupid idea,” Cassius began as they began to load the ducks into the car. More ducks began marching, and Cassius frowned. “Like, a really stupid idea.” He reiterated as he walked back over to the ducks, scooped the parade leader up, and made him face the car. Slowly, the rubber duck parade began to march towards his car. “But, what if I…” He pulled his phone out and pressed Richard’s contact, calling him. “Hi, Richard. I don’t have time to explain, but I need you to flood the basement.” He spoke into the phone, looking at Felix with his lips pressed into a thin line. 

“I won’t sell them, but we must think of something. And you can’t abandon me on this. I need the help.” Cassius pointed a finger toward Felix, quiet desperation in his eyes as he pleaded with the other not to leave him high and dry on this duck heist. Cassius opened the back seat, and the ducks began to march into the car, one after the other. He sighed, grateful for the solution instead of picking them all up one by one. 

Cassius turned to Felix as the car filled up with rubber ducks, concern on his face. “We need to find some kind of sanctuary. My si– Richard refuses to flood the basement.”

“Well, it’s not like we have a better one!” Maybe it wasn’t the most solid idea Felix had ever come up with, but… it also wasn’t the worst. They’d had less thought out plans than this one that still worked, hadn’t they? That spelled good things for the success of this particular idea. Actually, that probably meant that this plan was bound for success! Felix dumped his armful of ducks into the backseat of Cassius’s car, trying to block them from hopping out as more ducks joined the fray. This was going great, actually! This was going to work!

Cassius was on the phone, and Felix politely attempted to avoid listening in. Flooding the basement was a good play, they thought. They were also a little impressed that Cassius had a house with a basement. In this economy! That had to mean he was the right man for the job, right? He had a basement. “Okay, okay, I’m not going anywhere. I want them to be okay. You know? I want them to be happy and healthy. Do you — Should we take them to a vet? To get them checked out?” Felix gave the rubber duck closest to them a dubious look.

The basement flooding seemed to be a no-go, and Felix found themself wondering if, perhaps, Cassius did not own a basement after all. Maybe it was Richard who owned this particular basement, since he seemed to be the one with the final say in its flooding. Felix wondered if this Richard person could be convinced somehow, but they decided not to push. “I… don’t know if there are any rubber duck sanctuaries. I can google it?”

—

Frustrated and annoyed at Richard, Cassius threw him a text that said, “it’s my basement. I’m flooding it. Find somewhere else to sleep. Like the spare bedroom’s walk-in closet, I don’t know. Figure it out!” With a roll of his eyes, he pressed send on the text and turned his attention back to Felix. “We’ll do it. He doesn’t get a say in the matter.” He decided with a swift nod of his head. “I guess I’ll… make a rubber duck run? Is he still making more? I hope he stops.” 

Cassius looked to his rubber duck-filled vehicle and frowned. “I don’t think a vet would take us seriously.” He answered with a frown. “I mean, would you take it seriously? I wouldn’t take it seriously. They’re magical rubber ducks.” Cassius buried his face in his hands, then looked at Felix again. This was going to be a very long, bizarre night. As he moved to get into the driver’s seat, it happened. As big as a house, a giant rubber duck emerged into view. “Don’t look behind you, but it’s… gigantic,” Cassius spoke, pointing to the giant hot pink rubber duck. 

He ducked behind his car, trying to think of what he could do. That thing wouldn’t fit in his house let alone into his car. They were going to have to do something about this. He peeked from up behind the car. “Now what do we do?” He hissed toward Felix, who at this time had turned around to witness the mega duck.

So it was Cassius’s basement after all? It felt like a whirlwind of conflicting information, and Felix found themself struggling just a little to keep up with the onslaught of it all. They decided to focus on the important thing: that the ducks would have someplace to go. They trusted that Cassius would keep them safe for… however long was necessary. “I don’t know. He looked pretty into it…” What if the creature continued making sentient rubber ducks indefinitely? Felix wondered how big Cassius’s basement was.

They knew Cassius had a point about the ducks, and they frowned a little. “I mean… It’s not like someone could say they’re not real when they’re looking at them, right? They’re right here. They’re obviously real.” In the back of their mind, a little voice wondered if maybe the ducks weren’t real. Hadn’t Leo always said Felix had a habit of making things bigger than they were? Imagining problems, creating something out of nothing? But the fact that Cassius saw the ducks, too, offered some reassurance. Cassius had no reason to play along if Felix was making things bigger than they were.

Speaking of bigger…

They heard it, even before Cassius’s warning not to turn around. Booming movements, a loud squeak that was lower than what the small rubber ducks were making. Felix blinked, swallowing. Despite Cassius’s warning, they turned around slowly to look at the massive rubber duck. “I think…” They looked back to Cassius with wide eyes. “We drive. We can lead it to the ocean. And it can… be free.” The ocean was probably the only body of water big enough for this particular duck.

—

“What about the rest of these guys? Think they could go in the ocean too?” Cassius asked with a raised brow toward Felix, hopping into the driver’s seat and unlocking the door for Felix to get in. “Get in. Let’s get this over with.” He called out to Felix before starting up his car. The rubber ducks that filled his car squeaked with what could be delight or fear. He couldn’t tell which it was. 

Once Felix was in the car, Cassius frowned and turned his head to look out his back window, eyes narrowing as he sized up the creature. He flashed his lights a few times to get its attention, and then it shuffled towards his car. Slowly, the blond began to drive the car out of the park, the giant pink rubber duck slow on the heels of the black Lexus. 

Cassius gripped the steering wheel tighter, frequently looking out his rearview mirror to keep his eye on the giant duck. The rubber ducks in the car seemed to want to get to the giant one as if it were their mother duck. “I think they want to get to the big one.” He told Felix, grabbing one of the little rubber ducks in the car and keeping it in his hand.

“I mean… maybe.” Was that a good solution here? Were rubber ducks the kind of creature that only thrived in freshwater, or was saltwater okay, too? It wasn’t as if they could ask a wildlife expert for advice. Felix doubted there were any rubber duck sanctuaries to call. They climbed into the passengers seat of Cassius’s car, buckling their seatbelt and turning to glance back towards the backseat. “It’s all right, little guys,” they murmured to the ducks, offering them a small smile. “We’ll get you somewhere safe, okay?”

The ducks paid them little mind. They seemed to be flocking at the back window, pressing up against the glass. Cassius was right — they did seem to want to get to the big one. Felix wondered if there was something paternal here, if they had a family separated by the metal frame of this car. They glanced back to the front of the car, out the windshield and to the ocean they were approaching. Chewing their lip, they looked back again to the ducks in the back seat.

Nodding to themself, they looked now to Cassius. “They all have to go in the ocean,” they decided, tone uncharacteristically firm. “They have to stay together. If the big one goes to the sea, they all do. That’s what we’re doing. Um, if that’s okay with you, I mean.” Cassius was the one driving and potentially flooding a basement, after all.

As Felix decided they all had to go, Cassius felt sad. Was he growing attached to rubber? He quickly made that feeling go away for its ridiculous nature. “Right, and my basement lives to see another day, dry instead of filled,” Cassius responded with an amused smirk. The ducks continued to try to get to the big duck as he drove slowly to a parking spot on the beach. “Alright, I guess from here, we get him to follow us,” Cassius spoke as he stopped the car and threw his seatbelt off.

Hopping out of the car, Cassius began to open all the doors to his car to allow the rubber ducks safe passage. Cassius waved his hands around to get the big one’s attention, which took a while. “Over here!” He shouted, which finally got the large duck’s attention and began to waddle toward him slowly. Cassius took a few steps into the water, and the duck followed. Then, it was off. Floating in the sea, the giant rubber duck and its little rubber ducklings finally found safe passage. 

Cassius looked over to Felix to see how they felt about all of this, then noticed two ducks that hadn’t followed the big one. Instead, they were between the two of them. “I think we made friends,” Cassius told Felix. He bent down and picked up the two small rubber ducks up that squeaked with what Cassius could only assume was with delight. “How do you feel about keeping a sentient rubber duck?” He asked Felix with a raised brow.

“It’ll be better for them. They should have some freedom.” There was a pang in Felix’s chest at the thought, a quiet yearning they couldn’t quite admit to aloud. The ducks deserved to be free in a way Felix couldn’t be, whether their sentience was permanent or not. Wherever they went once the ocean was beneath them, wherever they ended up, Felix hoped it would be better than here.

They climbed out of the car, helping a few of the smaller ducks escape alongside them. They seemed to want to go towards the big duck, and Felix let them do so as Cassius got the duck’s attention. Felix trailed behind the crowd, picking up a few of the smallest ducks and carrying them when they proved slower than the rest. They dropped them into the waves as they approached, smiling as they floated on top of the water.

The ducks seemed content to go, and Felix offered them a small wave. They kept their gaze on the strange family until Cassius drew their attention away, and they looked down at their feet carefully. Letting out a little laugh, they reached out and took one of the ducks from Cassius’s hand. “If they want to stay,” they said, “I think we should let them. They didn’t have much of a say in the whole ‘becoming sentient’ thing, but… I think they deserve some control. Don’t you?”

—

Cassius listened as Felix spoke, but his attention was on all the ducks floating out to sea, the small rubber duck in his hand. “In a world full of chaos, they deserve a little bit of it, yes.” Cassius found himself responding as they looked down at the duck. After Felix had said something so profound, Cassius bit back a comment. Nope, he couldn’t hold it back. 

“Does this make us coparents to rubber ducks?” Cassius asked, holding the rubber duck up to his face. It didn’t emote. It was a rubber duck. But somehow, it was full of personality, squeaking and seemingly content in the palm of his hand. “None of this went how I expected it to tonight.” He then added, feeling a need to note how ridiculous the night had turned out to be. 

Another Saturday, another excuse to go out and be among other undead in a setting that made Cassius feel more at home. Dressed in skinny leather pants, his new platform doc martens (thanks sentient house for stealing his shoes), and a mesh black top with a leather jacket thrown on top. As usual, the vampire had black eyeshadow, black eyeliner, and black lipstick on, completing the gothic ensemble they’d been sporting since the scene cropped up in the 80s. 

He wasn’t expecting anything unusual to happen, but then he stepped out of his bedroom to see Zofia stepping out of hers, dressed up as if she were going out as well. “Plans?” He asked as he finished tying his long blond hair up into a messy bun. “You look… good.” Cassius spoke, wincing as he realized how uncomfortable of a situation this may become for the two of them. 

Cassius zipped up his jacket halfway, leaving his thorn tattoo and carnation tattoos visible under the black mesh shirt. “I uh, I’m headed out too. Going to the club.” Of course, Zofia would know that Cassius made Dance Macabre a Saturday ritual, he’d done it every Saturday since he moved to Wicked’s Rest, and hadn’t changed when the two were together. “Like usual.”

It had taken years, but the vampire had perfected the art of putting on lipstick without needing to look in a mirror. Of course the age of smartphones had been a pocket sized blessing. She swiped her thumb along her lower lip, cleaning the line of her red lipstick. 

She hummed absently to herself as she shimmied into her dress - the one she reserved when she was particularly hungry- and slipped into her heels. She was walking out the door, pinning her hair up when she came across Cassius. Zofia’s eyes flickered over them, taking in the details. Some things didn’t change, not ever. It almost drew a smile to her face. 

Instead, she stared at him, unblinking as he spoke. “Going out for a bite.” She said, amused with her own joke. His comment on her appearance surprised her, and her one woman staring contest came to an end. 

She bit back the urge to say ‘I know’. Of course he was going to the club. It was his little Saturday ritual. Just as hers had become lurking on the opposite end of the club, trying to live her life again. And usually that involved going home with someone who was already dead, or leaving some poor lost soul a few pints of blood lighter than they had been. Zofia nodded slowly. “I had similar plans.”

———-

Cassius cleared his throat as he realized they were headed to the same place. What did he do? Did he change his plans and go somewhere else? Did he offer to bring Zofia along with him? She was so changed from how she once was, and he’d grown used to that. Still, it was sometimes jarring to see who was once someone he saw as so sweet and then dive into their vampiric instincts to such a degree. 

Cassius swallowed. “You want a ride?” He finally asked, casting a quizzical gaze in her direction. He thought for a moment, about trying to be a “better” vampire. To give into those urges like the others around him did. To kill as they did. It felt wrong, and he cursed Richard internally. “So you don’t have to walk, I mean.” He added, gaze shifting down to the keys in his hand.

Zofia blinked at him as if the words were lost on her. It took a few moments for them to register. It took another to realize how incredibly awkward the entire situation was. They weren’t together- they hadn’t been in months. And yet she was taking up a residence in his house. And now he was offering her a ride. 

She looked down at her shoes, and then back to the keys in his hand. Walking in her heels would take a while. And as awkward as it would be… “Sure,” Zofia said. “I would appreciate that.”

________

As Cassius stood waiting for Zofia’s response, he was suddenly struck by how he was acting. He was making it awkward. Why was he making it so awkward. Sure, they’d dated. They’d bared their emotions down to each other once upon a time, and then things, well, happened. Sofie was gone. But that didn’t mean that Zofia wasn’t a completely different person. He didn’t want to lose her just because he could let go of what she once was. He wouldn’t lose her again. 

He nodded his head and gave a bright smile in response to her hesitant acceptance, determined to change the tone around. Before she could change her mind, Cassius waved for her to follow him to the garage where his car waited. They drove in silence for a while, but then he spoke up. “So.” He began, looking over at Zofia briefly before letting his eyes turn back to the road. “What have you been up to lately?” He asked, genuinely curious how she’d been in the last few weeks. 

Cassius had been dealing with changing classes to English as well as spending extra time with Lukas, but he wasn’t sure if Zofia was letting herself live past simply existing. “Have you been alright?” He didn’t want to push too hard and scare her away, but he was worried. He worried about her being caught again, worried that she wouldn’t let herself out of her shell after the hunters had taken her. 

_

She certainly hadn’t been expecting a smile in response. If anything she’d been expecting a grimace. Zofia started to offer to walk instead, but Cassius was already off, walking toward the garage with keys in hand. She let out a sigh and walked behind him. 

The car was quiet, aside from the thoughts that rattled around in her skull. Was this about to turn into a lecture someone would give a petulant teen? Something about being worried about her or needing to not bite people… Zofia didn’t know if she had it in her to be lectured about morality by someone a century her junior. She kept her mouth shut so fangs wouldn’t be bared and barbed words wouldn’t cut when they had no cause to. 

She raised an incredulous eyebrow at him. “Not terribly much.” Zofia shrugged. “I sell things. I go out. Rinse, repeat.” She didn’t bother to mention the fact that months had passed and she still looked over her shoulder, still didn’t trust most people. Still heard whispers, saw shadows. It was easier to leave all that unsaid. 

She shrugged again, her shoulders never quite settling back. “I’ve been fine. It’s been quiet.” Quiet was something she used to revel in, to crave. Now it put her on edge. Which was why she was headed out again, for noise and light and people. “I needed to get out more. Hence,” Zofia trailed off, gesturing to her outfit. “How about you?” Anything was better than talking about herself. 

——

As he kept his eyes on the road, Cassius listened to what Zofia had to say. He wasn’t so sure what Zofia’s relationship with quiet was anymore. Seeing how antsy she got in the house sometimes, he worried about her. He worried about those around her that had a pulse. He looked over to Zofia out of the corner of his eye, then let his gaze fall back on the road again. A stormy look clouded over his expression before it disappeared as quickly as it had come about.

“Well, I’m glad you’ve decided to get out more.” Cassius answered with an earnest expression cast in her direction as he stopped at a stoplight. “I’ve been…” he paused. How had he been? “Busy.” He finally settled on, staring down at the hand he had placed on the top of the wheel. “Between Richard going through his own fucking identity crisis and getting strange texts from Lukas’s own sire, it’s been busy.” He frowned, realizing that he hadn’t really talked about his own troubles with anyone other than Inge. 

“I know you know his sire.” He finally said, he’d overheard her talking to him at the Christmas party. Called him cousin. “I don’t want to know. I want it to come from him.” He quickly added before starting to drive again when the light turned green. There was a lot that Cassius still needed to learn about Lukas. His face soured, but quickly disappeared to replace it with concentration. He was fine, his relationship was fine, he was just doubting himself and his place in things. That was nothing new. 

If he had been anyone else, she might have missed the clouds that rolled across his countenance. She crossed her legs and sat straighter in the passenger seat, not comfortable with being pitied, or whatever he was feeling over on the drivers side of the car. 

Zofia’s face tugged down into a slight frown. It was probably for the best Lizzie didn’t have her number. She couldn’t imagine what the old woman could have to text about. And Richard was such a young creature. Zofia hadn’t spent enough time in her undead youth with the man’s sire, but she knew enough about her Great Aunt Lizzie that while Zofia might take advantage of the woman’s desire to treat her distant niece to fancy trinkets, the woman wasn’t a safe option. 

“You don’t want to know how I know her?” She asked, looking for clarity. “If you’re looking for that answer to come from Lukas, I’d be surprised if he knew the full answer.” She didn’t bother embellishing. If he wanted to know, Zofia knew Cassius would ask. Her eyes narrowed at his expression. “What’s that face?”

——

“No, I don’t.” He responded simply. “I’ll learn with time. I don’t want to pry into things he’s not ready to tell me himself.” He explained with a stern expression. He wanted to trust Lukas, but something told him he was in more danger than he wanted Cassius to know. It worried him. 

“What’s what face? It’s my face.” He retorted back, flashing a confused look in Zofia’s direction. “Life’s just weird right now, that’s all.” His hands squeezed on the steering wheel, and finally he decided to tell someone about Richard. “I caught Richard looking at different properties. I think he’s going to leave.” He hadn’t voiced his concerns to Inge, but he felt that maybe Zofia would be safe to talk to. 

Cassius didn’t know what to do with himself, he’d lived his life based on the tenants that Richard had told him to follow. And now that Richard was detached and distant, Cassius found that he had the potential to live life to his own rules. He just wasn’t so sure he knew what those rules were. “I’m not used to living life to my own accord and not someone else’s. Even when he disappeared back in the eighties, I still listened to what he had told me. But now? I’m not so sure.”

_

Amusement flickered across her face at his dismissal of her offer. She wondered what Lukas did know of her from his sire, if he knew anything at all. Would Lizzie have divulged that information? Their meetings over the years? Yes, she’d told the man Lizzie was her aunt, but it was much more complicated than that. The topic drifted away like the street lights they passed by. 

“Yes, your face. Your face when something is bothering you and you start to look as though you bit into a lemon, but then you replace it with your scrunched up concentration as you stare out at the road.” Zofia said, cocking an eyebrow up. “I may have lost my mind, but I didn’t lose my memory.”

‘Weird’ was quite probably the understatement of the year for poor Cassius. She knew her reappearance was likely just the cherry on top of a sundae of insane and upsetting occurrences. She waited for him to continue, red eyes not blinking as she watched him. 

“Properties is Wicked’s Rest?” She asked. Would the elder vampire expect Cassius to pick up and leave again, to follow him off to god-knew-where? She hoped for Lukas’s sake that wasn’t the case. “You’re not sure of what? Whether you’d go or stay?”

———-

Cassius’s frown deepened as Zofia described his face. He should have known better than to try and get away with something like this with her. “He’s looking at properties all around the United States, none of which are in Maine.” He told her with a serious look as they stopped at yet another light. “And I won’t follow him. It’s not my place to do so anymore.” Cassius stared at the red light, willing it to change so he wouldn’t have to keep looking at Zofia. Something about it hurt. 

“My home is here. I’m not leaving you again. I promised.” His grip on the wheel grew tighter. He wouldn’t leave her, he wouldn’t leave Lukas, he wouldn’t leave Inge. “I’ve made myself a family here and intend to keep it. If I go anywhere, it’s with Inge to New York City, not Richard to the middle of nowhere.” The light turned, and Cassius turned his attention back to the road. 

“I’ve never lived a life of my own.” He finally said, grateful to have something else to concentrate on that wasn’t his words. “Richard’s always been the one to dictate it, to make the hard decisions for me. I was never given the choice if I drink human blood or animal blood, it’s just how it was.” He sighed, turning into the parking lot of their destination. “But it’s finally time that I make my decisions. I’m done being that goody-two-shoes that Richard designed me to be.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and sighed again. “I just don’t know how to do that without it looking like I’m going through an identity crisis.” 

Zofia studied the frown that etched itself across her face. It was good to hear he wouldn’t follow the elder vampire if he left again. It wasn’t her place anymore, to ask him to stay. But she’d still wish the best for him, still hope he fought for whatever it was he wanted.

“It’s not a promise I’d hold you too.” She said gently. “You’re free to go wherever you want, Cassius. No one should dictate that for you.” Her gaze was carefully locked on the lights that passed by the window. “New York wouldn’t be a bad option though.” The smile was evident in her voice, even if it hadn’t settled across her lips quite yet. 

“I don’t think that you need to stop being a ‘goody-two-shoes’ altogether. Be whatever good you want to be. So long as it’s your definition. Not someone else’s.” He deserved that much. Zofia unbuckled herself and glanced over at him with a gentle smile. “Does that make sense?”

________

The blonde shrugged his shoulders and shot a smile over to Zofia. “I know you don’t, but it’s one that I hold myself to. I have a family here. You, Lukas, Inge… you’re my family.” Cassius told her earnestly. “Inge and I talked about fleeing to New York, but we have people here who would be hesitant to leave. Wicked’s Rest is home whether we like it or not.” 

He thought about the time in which he felt his own control snap. He wasn’t himself, and he didn’t like it. Cassius decided he wouldn’t experience that again. “Step one is to be an English teacher again, finally.” He spoke with a nod. “I think it’s time I surrounded myself more with books and forcing the youth of this town to read what I deem fit.” He gave a mischievous smile to Zofia before opening his door and getting out of the car. “Shall we?” 

———

That gentle smile tightened almost imperceptibly before Zofia let it go. It was strange to hear herself called family again. From anyone. It had been so long since anyone had called her that. She forced her smile to ease back to something less rigid.