#wrong account

My androphobia is part of my PTSD. It’s a symptom. I am aware that many think it’s problematic to be afraid of all men because of something a few men or just one man did. So let me explain.

It wasn’t a random man. It was my older brother.

I don’t have a father, or a dad. It was just me, him, and mom. So he was supposed to be my protector growing up. He was not. Mom never believed me. He did things to me I still can’t talk about.

It started with just an innocent question I asked myself one day. “If I couldn’t trust him… who was supposed to protect me… what men can I trust?”

Add on several scary encounters growing up… and intrusive thoughts.

And a coworker who stalked me when I refused to go on a second date.

And those guys like the man at my job who told me my skin would make such pretty leather.

For years I had panic attacks if a man was in the same room as me, or even looked at me.

I started going back to therapy after my brother. I’m still in therapy and he’s been out of my life for almost 3 years.

I have so many people tell me “it’s not all men!”

I know it’s not. But it’s been enough men. I personally hate that I feel like I have to explain myself. But I do. Because I don’t want to offend anyone.

I'm not sure for which account the ask was, but if anyone knows says so in the comments or in my askbox, and I'll tag them.