Because I don't think I can answer that with any certainty. You see because I don't truly remember my first heartbreak. Whether it was a from a boy, my biological father, my mother or my step dad. Regardless. It made me hard to swallow, it made my edges so fucking sharp and my tolerance high.

It is the reason I have perfected this fake amile that has consumed so much of my adulthood that at times I no longer recognize myself in the mirror.

Hello, chat, Bees here!

I'm scheduled all the way to the end of August and am currently working on my birthday prompts!

That being said, hopefully (🤞🏻) soonish I will be doing some big big things. So if you guys have any requests it might take a little longer to do them!

I'm going to be finishing up the stuff I have. If you'd like a To-Do List let me know!

I'll keep you guys posted for sure!

The Argonaut Trials is a near future sci-fi and my second book. It will be releasing in August. I've been posting a lot about it online, so if you follow me, you've very likely seen at least one thing about it. I'm currently in the throes of editing making this awesome story shine as bright as it can. And today, I'd like to share the special way that this story came to me in a time when I was questioning the calling the Lord has given me.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 ESV

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end."

All writing has been put on the backburner for the next few months as I go through edits of The Argonaut Trials. I received the developmental edit back from my editor a few weeks ago, and all the rest of the edits will be done by me. So I've been working hard on plot changes and ideas to make the story the best it can be. And I will tell you there has been a lot of laughing at myself, rolling my eyes at a line I know I thought was AMAZING when I wrote but is really just super cringy. But instead of getting down on myself, I've just been looking forward to the many ways I can make the story better now instead of dwelling on how I messed up the first draft. There's a certain pressure I feel however with how loved Chosen is. I want The Argonaut Trials to be better than Chosen, because I've grown as an author and I've learned so much through the editing and self publishing process. I know where I've failed and could've done better with Chosen and I'm using those lessons to make The Argonaut Trials more professional. So though I know it still needs a lot of work, I'm so excited for people to experience this story that I love so much.

As for my other stories, I'm getting ideas all the time for the stories I have on the backburner, I have notes on my phone of little scenes that come into my head so that I can put them into a story later. With all the sci-fi and dystopian I've been writing lately, after The Argonaut Trials release, I really want to go back to my fantasy world. Though I know it will likely be a few years before readers see any of this beautiful big world that I've been working on for so many years, I look forward to the day that readers do get to see it for the first time. But for now, that world will remain a mystery.

mga alaalang ayaw pang lumisan

bulaklak na matagal ng nakaipit sa luma mong libro

una mong libro na napabayaan na

usok ng sinisilab mong damdamin— umaasang mapapatay nito ang ipinagbabawal na nararamdaman para sa kan'ya

ang araw sa kanluran

sinag ng araw na tumatama sa bubong ng inyong kapitbahay na nakakasilaw tuwing tanghali

salamin n'yong hindi na nalilinisan kaya't malabo na rin ang tingin mo sa sarili

ingay ng kuliglig tuwing hindi ka makatulog sa gabi

ang paghahalintulad mo sa buwan at sa kan'yang mga mata

kantang inaalay mo pa sa kan'ya hanggang ngayon kahit na nilipasan na ito ng panahon (hindi na uso)

pagtatao gamit ang manggang kinain mo at kung paano dumampi ang asim sa iyong panlasa

tunog ng sintunadong gitara na ayaw mong pihitin dahil siya ang huling gumamit

paghahalintulad ng sementeryo sa lugar ng iyong puso

paggamit ng kamatayan bilang kapareha ng pag-ibig

sunulid at pananahi na katumbas ng katangian niya

mga sikretong tula na hindi para sa kan'ya

liham pangkaibigan na may halong pag-aasam

tinta ng ballpen at kung paano nito kabisadong isinusulat ang pangalang nakasanayan

mga pang-uri na sa kan'ya lang nababagay

mga pandiwang hindi kailanman naging kilos

bulaklak na nagpapaalala sa kan'ya

kahon ng mga sulat na di kailanman naipadala

ang iyong sariling kalansay na nabubulok dahil sa kawalan ng sustansyang siya lang ang makakapagbigay

tanikala ng puso na pumipigil sa labis na pagnanais

espasyo sa pagitan ninyong dalawa na di mo kayang paliitin

siya bilang paraluman sa iyong mga gawa

Things are looking pretty bright these days. I've really gotten into a groove. But as of late, my work as an author has looked a little different than usual.

I finished draft one of the next book in my Christian dystopian trilogy, The Rembrick Trilogy a couple of weeks ago. It is now being analyzed by my beta readers, and I've already received absolutely glowing feedback from them, which has been so encouraging.

My next book to be released, The Argonaut Trials, is finishing up with my developmental editor. The past couple of weeks I've been working on the cover. The cover reveal will be next week on my Instagram and YouTube, so be sure to check that out. Both are @writes4him451. It is still on track to be released this summer.

Other than that, I've mostly been working on improving my writing craft by watching online lectures through SkillShare and I've been really enjoying it and learning a lot. After taking a month to really recharge and learn more, I will be diving into line edits and such, preparing for the release of The Argonaut Trials.

That's about it for writing right now. I'm excited to see where the Lord takes me next after the release of The Argonaut Trials. I will be trying to give a writing update on here every month. If you're interested, please check out my debut novel, Chosen. The first book in the Rembrick Trilogy.