#written*

Oh it’s less about the couple and more about how it’s written. I find h/c tends to fall into the out-of-character realm really quickly. And this happens most often with characters who aren’t, uh, naturally graceful caretakers with good bedside skills. They suddenly become all wooby wooby my poor baby i’ll take care of you uwu.

And this, in turn, can lean into the One Person is the Man and the Other Person is the Woman trope which is something that drives me absolutely bananas. 

Additionally, the way people describe illness and physical trauma (broken legs; being beaten up; bad fall; almost blown up by your own death star etc.) also tends to lean into being overly sweet? For lack of a better term. It’s never accurate - and sure, it’s fanfiction, I don’t need the author to know how bones knit to enjoy the piece, but it’s not - gods, I don’t know how to describe what bugs me about it. 

Most h/c is from the POV of the caretaker and it tends to run into the “oh no this person I care about in some manner is hurt, they are now baby. Look at their poor bruised knuckles. Their soft hair on the pillow. Their brow smoothed with sleep. Their little coughs.” and it just grates. On a personal level. 

Essentially, I guess what I’m trying to say, is that there is a Vibe or an Essence in how they are written and it is not something I personally jive with. But I’m very picky about characterization, especially of people like Vetinari (or Krennic, Tarkin, Grima etc.) 

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All this said, Vetinari trying to have a bedside manner with Downey is objectively funny because of how hard he would fail. 

And that! That’s the thing with most h/c - Vetinari would suddenly develop a bedside manner! He’d suddenly know how to take care of someone and not in the world’s most awkward fashion. And he suddenly wouldn’t be disgusted by bodily fluids. And he’d suddenly be like “oh no bb you need to not get up and do things; u need to rest” etc. whereas in reality if Downey is like “Right, I’m done being sick” Vetinari would reply, “Probably unwise. But alright. You’re an adult and can make your own decisions.” 

And then he’d never really ask about it ever again. 

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I don’t like saccharine things, though. It’s why I personally don’t like romance as a genre. I’m not knocking it for those who like it - more power to you. It’s just not something that is my cup of tea. And 95% of fic falls into the Romance Genre style of writing, but not as good because obviously, because it’s fanfic. And again - I’m not knocking this for those who like it. It’s just personally that’s my struggle with most fanfic. The saccharine sweetness and the characterization (both of which I find are tied up together) 

I like tenderness and vulnerability, but that doesn’t mean it’s teeth rotting in it’s nature. And that’s a balance I hope I hit with my own writing? There’s tenderness and gentleness, but it’s not saccharine and it’s believable with the characters? There’s also dickishness, plenty of it, because honestly it’s Downey (and Grima), and if he can score a point he will.  

Its just:

Saeran. Fluff.

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NO THOUGHTS. HEAD EMPTY. ONLY HIM.