#written transcript

Chloe: Do you wish you two got married.

Me: It depends... who are we talking about? The blonde haired size 12 girl I dated or the larger multi-coloured girl I walked away from this week?

Chloe: Go on.

Me: Of course I wish we were married, I would have thought we would have been happy. But if we are talking about this new, let's say version, of her. Then NO. I don't think we are each other types. I'm not a bad boy image and she isn't the slim nerdy beautiful clumsy girly girl. It wouldn't work and that's why I'm not losing sleep over it. Or regret walking away.

Chloe: Lets throw a curveball, what if she lost weight and went back to blonde, knocked on your door or something in a few years. What would you do? How would you react?

Me: Off the top of my head, there's so many different theoretical variables? Am I single? Is she? Probably going to need a framework for an honest answer.

Chloe: There's nobody else in the frame for either of you. You've got your ideal job but it's local. She some how knows where you live and the call is out the blue. She's genuine, she's made up her mind. It's you.

Me: Do I have to answer?

Chloe: (laughs) Not really but we do have a Q & A with the viewers at the end of the programme, where you will inevitably get asked. So...

Me: (awkward laughs) I'm more likely to be dating you princess. But, I'd have to know she wasn't running back because she was out of options.

Chloe: And if you knew...

Me: I'd have to make a decision. I'm honest regardless of whether there is nobody watching or what do we currently have, (checks screen) 5000, and honestly, can you turn down someone you love but hopefully, both of us won't feel anything for the other then.

Chloe: Is that what you really want?

Me: In this theoretical future, it's whats best. It's what people would want. I was never a beloved figure with her family and friends you know? I was the weird kid who wasn't good enough you know? No doubt about it, we should have left each other a decade ago.

Chloe: A decade ago? Earlier in the programme you said the relationship was the 9th of the 10th of the 11th...

Me: That's correct.

Chloe: So you regret it?

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