So, I recently started rewatching Arcane S1 to fill the hole in my soul(lovejayvik tho, that completed me for like 10 minutes) after what ever was S2 and got a little carried away after reading some really good fics on this website.
I also finished watching Superstore and Bridgerton so its been a spiraling thanksgiving week,
Anyway, I know I said Matt Murdock was coming but I got really distracted... So here is a part of a draft scene in a viktorxreader smut fic set during his earlier academy years (and eventually into the series events? if I can manage that long) I wanna post soon.
I tried to shift my thigh away, looking up at him, surprised by his boldness - his hand following after. A flush of warmth settled in my stomach, mixed emotions bubbling up my throat as I struggled to swallow them back down. I could feel the intensity of his gaze as I quickly looked back to my paper.
Viktor turned his hand over, tapping a gentle rhythm on the top of my thigh like he was playing piano. âIf you just needed a little motivation,â he started, leaning close as if studying my notes. His taps slowly moved to drag up and down, callouses start to scrap the goose flesh building up as he made sure to linger along the hem of my skirt's slit. His intentions were unmistakable. âThen all you need to do is pay attention and write your notes.â
I could only swallow hard, aware of the game we'd been playing over the past few months. The exchanged glances, light touches, the foot games, the playful teasing. It all began the day he took my pen, and since then, the tension had only grown, with neither of us trying to pull back, but rather escalate it.
He kept tapping my thigh, expectantly waiting for my response or a sign.
I glanced at Viktor again; his golden eyes sparkled with wanton glee, sending my heart racing as I thought of the possibilities and the ramifications of being caught. We rarely interacted outside this room, so I wondered what the harm could be... right?
I felt a little freaky and missed the old Vik.
Tell me what you think. Either way its being finished and written with hopefully at least 3 parts in total. I think it will be called 'The Long Game' or 'With Sugar & Spice"
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(A small snippet of the RFTS!Au as writing practice and for all of you to take a peak into my writing style and dynamic of this universe. Believe it or not, this is one of the first times Iâve ever been serious of writing something sooo, I apologise in advance.
Idk, tbh, this is really just an experiment. This exact scene wonât actually appear or play out in the actual story. In all honesty, I just made it up with what I could make sense with at the moment. Plus, thereâs a little surprise update at the end. ;)
With all of that said, enjoy! đ)
âŚâŚ.
âStar?â
The light gust of wind carried her voice and accompanied her every step as she kept running through the woods. Branches rustled overhead and hollow trunks echoed the sound, giving the illusion that the forest wasâŚbreathing.
The sun had even started to set a fiery orange colour in the horizon, casting eerie shadows over the tall grass. The path sheâd been running through had started to fade into all different directions in the overgrown terrain. At this point, itâs a constant struggle just to stay near it. Night time was approaching, just as she had feared. And yet here she was⌠venturing deeper down the belly of the beast. Never in her life had she remembered the last time she ever ventured on her own.
A young 18-year-old girl. Lost in the woods? At night? The possibilities are endless. Anything could happen. Anything.
No. Not now. Get it together.
Asha quickly buried the thought away from her head, paused to take one more shaky breath, and kept running. She had to find him. She swore she saw him sped through this direction. She canât just go back now.
In fact, she doesnât even know if she could turn back at all.
Not after what had happened back in Rosasâ town centreâŚ
Guilt clawed at the back of her throat and her heart thrummed against her chest. She swallowed the ugly feeling down hard and continued to search for any sign of the magical, mute boy. What had happened back there was so fast that it came to her in a blur of colour.
She vaguely remembered colours of varying dull shades that belonged to the citizens of Rosas as they crowded around them. Some curious. Some confused. But most were in awe at the things he could do. At the things he could grant them.
She only wanted him to grant a few small wishes. It didnât seem like a heavy task. If only she knew how this small favour would snowball out of control terribly.
But all that she DID remember clearly was the fresh memory of a crowd gathering around them. Closing in. Getting curiouser and curiouser⌠She had lost sight of Star from the people excitedly shoving her aside to get a better look at this strange magic caster. Someone who wasnât the king for once. Then all in one quick-
FLASH-
A strong, chaotic gust of bright magic had forcefully pushed the crowd back. Chickens grew a sudden growth spurt. A guyâs hair got so long that it touched the floor. Nearby boxes turned into the weirdest crooked shapes. And some peopleâs clothing transformed into ones resembling either a jester or what looked like pyjamas belonging to a retired wizard. From the mess and the noisy commotion that had occurred, Asha could just barely make out the surroundings. But among everything else, thereâs one thing that worried her the most.
The area where Star had initially stood was empty.
And the only clue left from his disappearance was the trail of stardust sprinkled over the grass, leading towards the shadows of the woods.
âŚâŚ..
âStar?!â Ashaâs voice called out once more.
Silence.
âStar, please! Hey, I-Iâm sorry.â She started again, desperation and concern evident than ever.
Iâm sorry! I-I donât..I didnât know that.. I never considered the..the possibility that they would..â
Her own tongue refused to even cooperate with her at the moment. Ashe resisted the urge to bite down in frustration.
The time when she actually needed words was the same time that she had none. She can feel the burning sensation high from within her gut and the fabric of her dress squeezed between the fingers of her balled fist. She could just never stop being this useless, can she?
The trail of stardust had faded away into nothing a while ago. Now, she can only rely on nothing but her hope.
âCome onâŚ. You have to be around here. You have to be okay... Where are-â
Snap.
There it was. Behind that tree.
Again, Asha felt fear grab a hold of her throat. For all she knew, it could be a wild animal. OrâŚ.what ifâŚ?
Whatever was forcing her to hold back now, the need to look out for her friend was greater.
Giving herself a minute, Asha steeled herself and, ever so cautiously, began to approach the source of the sound. Leaves crackled from underneath her feet and spiked her worries. Regardless, she kept going. Finally, Asha peeked out from the other side of the tree.
ZIP-
âAAH!â She yelped as a ball of light sped just past her. It zigged and zagged in between nearby trunks with zero sense of direction. Finally, the light flew behind another tree before stumbling back out in the form of a familiar human shape of the boy she was looking for.
âStar?â Asha breathed. Step by step, she approached the figure. âStar! Youâre alright! You-â
Star jolted away from her advance, heavily startled. His arms automatically rushed into a defensive stance in front of him, causing tall greenery to magically grow in between and seperate them. It had created some sort of a small, protective barrier for him.
âWait! Itâs me!âŚItâs me.â Asha raised both her hands up and stepped around the barrier, proving sheâs no stranger or a threat. Starâs hazel eyes darted around before finally stopping to rest on her. In his panicked state, Star failed to recognise her straight away.
âHey, Itâs meâŚâ
It was still for a few seconds. But thankfully, Star gradually showed signs of calming down. His flickering, glowing hair subtly became more steady and his face starts softening.
At least⌠for the short time being. Tension was still clearly evident in his expression and stance. Asha noticed the boy had summoned flying dust to float right next to him. It rapidly changed in shape and form, presumably matching his racing thoughts.
Heâs attempting to explain himself. Asha realised.
(Hereâs a ref for what that might look like: âŹď¸)
âIâm sorry, I..Youâre going a bit too fast.â Asha started. But with every word that left her mouth, Star only seemed to make the stardust shift in between shapes even more faster.
Then, a cold wind blew against the overhead branches, producing a rustling sound. Star flinched at the noise and turned, breaking his focus on Asha.
His gaze transferred from one thing to another at the speed of light, anticipating something. Anything that might jump out at him. Is there..? Within the unknown and behind those trees, something could be watching themâŚ
His mind having switched to autopilot, Starâs feet lifted from the ground and he started searching every space and corner. Questions flooded his head. A bad itch spread through his limbs and refused to go away. Shaken, Star tried to gulp allâŚâthisâ⌠down but to no avail.
He needed answers.
Did the other humans follow them? What more did they want? What other selfish want do they need granted now?
âstar-â
Skies above-
What if someone comes up from behind?? His head instinctively whipped around to make sure. Nothing. OrâŚ.or did he just not see?
âStar-?â
What if someone imprisons him again just for his ability? Granting Wishes. Thatâs what they want⌠Thatâs all they ever wanted from himâŚRight? They only ever saw him as nothing more than a wish-granter.
Surrounded. What if-
What if they were surrounded and they just didnât notice?
Surrounded. Trapped. And they would keep approaching. Closer.
And closer-
And closer-
Darkness envelops. Just like walls.
Walls.
Walls.
Like walls pressing down from all sides of him. Promising no escape. STARS- WHAT IF-
âStar!! Please!â Starâs eyes snapped open. Two hands (that werenât his) were raised a short distance in front of him, visibly shaking. Star realised at once that his eyes had been shut close the whole time. Oh. He thought. That explains the darknessâŚ
Star blinked his eyes slowly, rising to meet familiar amber ones. Once his vision came to focus, he noticed the look on the girlâs face. Genuine concern. ForâŚhim?
Slowly but steadily, he regained awareness of his surroundings. He couldnât remember exactly when he did, but he was now kneeling on the forest floor. Asha kneeled down with him to meet his eye level. She slowly reached out but paused, silently asking for consent.
Star hesitated before eventually nodding. Asha reached to gently hold on to both his wrists, which Star realised his hands had been roughly grabbing and pulling his hair mere seconds ago. She lowered them down, still maintaining a firm but gentle hold.
âShhhh. Itâs okay. Itâs okay.â Her honey-sweet tone whispered reassurance as her grip softened even more. âItâs just me. And you.
No one else.
No more crowds.â
With every point made, her thumb comfortingly brushed against his skin. Ashaâs hands slowly went from his wrist to his own, and she gently squeezed them. âI promise you.â
Asha never once broke eye contact and even signed the word âPromiseâ as one last reassurance.
A beat.
Star stared long and hard into her eyes, slightly surprised only to find sincerity and concern in them. It was so quiet that the only sound he heard was her own breathing. For a split moment, the worries and darkness of this world were forgotten.
All he knew was that she was here.
Sheâs safe. Heâs safe. Theyâre safe.
Overwhelmed at thisâŚgesture⌠and everything else, Starâs eyes watered. No, she canât see a star like this..
He squeezed her hands back to ground himself one more time before finally releasing a breath. Asha watched silently as the boy sat down on the green grass and hugged himself, ducking his head away between his knees to avoid eye contact. His shoulders trembled ever so slightly. She felt a pang of guilt stab her chest, knowing in the back of her head that he spiralled because of her âsmall favourâ back there.
âIâm sorryâŚâ she muttered. She adjusted herself to a more comfortable sitting position beside him, taking care to make slow movements so as not to scare him even more. âI shouldnât have asked back there in Rosas. Not all at once. IâŚI didnât know they would crowd around like that.â
There was little to no reaction to the apology. In fact, it appeared like Star had only closed in on himself even further. Asha didnât blame him. Whether he wanted to answer or not, sheâd be right here either way. For as long as he needed her to be.
âDo you haveâŚsomethingâŚon your mind?â
âŚâŚ.
âI wonât force you to say anything. ButâŚyouâre my friend. AndâŚI want to help you in any way I can.â
âŚ..
âBut only...if youâd let meâŚWhatever youâre comfortable with, Iâm right here.â
Asha waited a little more longer to see any sort of sign. Nothing. She sighed lightly and shuffled a little farther away to give him space.
But then in the corner of her eye, she saw his hands move to sign. Asha remembered speaking in sign language before, but not in a very long time. Despite that, she paid close attention to at least make out what heâs trying to say.
âAll they wantâŚ.All I amâŚA starâŚJust wishes.â
(Btw guys, orange is sign language and the ellipses ââŚâ are words she didnât understand because like I said, sheâs rusty with sign.)
The words took a moment to process together and click.
âYouâreâŚafraid thatâs your only worth. Is that right?â
Starâs glow turned dimmer and he tightly gripped the sleeves of his shirt. No additional confirmation was needed. Around them, cacti and odd-looking plants sprouted from the dirt. Asha jumped a little when a weed popped right next to her. Magical occurrences like these tend to happen whenever Star gets highly emotional.
He had mentioned that Wish Magic can be unpredictable and difficult to control, especially for a star as young as he is. Especially for a star who hasnât stepped a foot on this world before, nevertheless. A star taken away far too early from home.
At this point in their adventure, Asha was no longer surprised with all the magic mishaps that happen with every excited, frustrated, or embarrassed outburst. It was almost ironic that for someone who disliked surprises, Asha had come to find Starâs unpredictability weirdly comforting and familiar.
And so, instead of anticipating or fearing whatever chaos could spiral next, Asha found herself even more compelled to help the poor star.
âI canât..speak for the others.â She didnât want to lie. Not when Star is already struggling to open up to people. She didnât want to make him feel like he canât trust her either.
But at the same time, Asha didnât want to confirm his fears and make them worse. She didnât really want to let him completely believe that everyone really is out to capture him, when sheâs aware that there are good people in Rosas.
They just needed to find the right people. But for now, she had to carefully choose her words for this.
âBut for all itâs worthâŚYou.â Asha raised her hand to touch his shoulder but quickly retracted when he flinched. Pity welled heavily in her gut. âYou matter a lot to me, okay? YouâreâŚ
Youâre so much more than just a star to me.â
âŚ..
The movement was subtle and hard to notice, but Star had lifted his head a little and she noticed that the grip he had on himself loosened.
Asha slowly lifted a hand again to touch him, but this time, she moved slower. When Star noticed but showed no resistance to the advance, she rested it gently on his shoulder. Like magic, she felt him relax a little more and his trembling started becoming less and less.
Star sat still, contemplating what has been said. (Sitting still for this long was so unlike him, it scared her a little). It was only his dim flickering light that filled the hushed atmosphere for several long minutes. Yet, the quiet didnât feel as lonely as it did anymore. Both didnât greatly mind the wait at all.
After a while, when heâs more relaxed and comfortable, he finally signed back to her.
âAnyoneâŚhurt?â
Asha shook her head. âNo, I donât think so. Just some scares maybe.â
Star looked ahead, concern evidently still etched on his face. Asha found it endearing that he still cared about othersâ well-being despite what had happened.
âYouâŚsure?â
âWell, the worse you probably did was give some people a new wardrobe.â She absentmindedly started twirling a blade of grass around her finger, hiding an amused look from the memory of the townsfolkâs surprised faces back there. She hoped that this would at least help in lightening the mood.
Star turned his head to face her more clearly and didnât miss the small upturn of the corners of her mouth. He made a faint scoff light-heartedly. Playfully grinning now, he nudged her with his shoulder to have her look back at him.
âDid a favourâŚAt least theyâre nowâŚmore awake with colour. The old clothesâŚbland and boring.â Star exaggerated the last bit by sticking his tongue out.
Caught off-guard by the side-comment, a snort escapes from Asha before it turned into bright chuckles. Embarrassed, she raised a hand over her mouth. âHe-hey! Donât say that about them!â
Star only smiled wider as the usual cheeky glint finally returned to his eyes. He released his own quiet chuckle that sounded a lot like small ringing bells. Asha caught control of her own laughter to glance at her friend. Heh. She thought to herself. Thereâs the mischievous and fun-loving guy I knowâŚ
Sheâs relieved and happy to see how Star is slowly easing up and returning back to his usual self. They waited in the silence again for a little while longer. Yet, it seemed as if the tense atmosphere they initially shared in had turned a lot more easier. The heavy feeling of guilt pressing down on her chest also became lighter.
At least, some of the guilt was gone.
Asha didnât and couldnât forget Starâs expressed insecurities from earlier. She wants to do something about it. At least something to make up for the whole trouble. Something to make that very burden lighter.
A light bulb went on in her head.
âYou know, when I was younger.â She started. âMy papa would come home from work each day. He always looked so delighted to see me.â Asha raised her head upwards to the now starry night sky, a wave of nostalgia washing up within her. Star rested his arms on his knees, curious at the change in topic. âHe used to pick me up andâŚand swing me aroundâŚ.calling me the sweetest things. Like we had been apart for the longestâŚ.time.â
Star noticeably frowned and tilted his head to the side, as if implying a question. The girl realised he was mirroring the same expression she had. Nervously, her hand started playing with the fabric of her dress. Admittedly, Asha wasnât used to openly talking about TomĂĄs again afterâŚ..that.
Not after all this time.
Asha took a deep breath, feeling the cold dirt underneath her. âThatâs..thatâs not the point right now.â She quickly added. Asha nodded in Starâs direction to reassure him she was fine before continuing.
âThe point isâŚheâd call me all kinds of names. Estrella, Chiquitita, CariĂąo.â She smiled at the memory, blinking away the moisture that had formed in the corners of her eyes. This didnât go unnoticed by the boy beside her, who kept listening intently.
âBut out of all of them, his favourite was âMi pequeĂąo sueĂąo.â SinceâŚwellâŚ.he used to love sharing everything with me back then. And I mean..hehe, I mean EVERYthing.â
Asha released an uneasy laugh as she finished the sentence. âItâs funny, isnât it? He would share every work detail to a little toddler.â She smiled and turned to face her friend. âHehehe. I..I barely even understood most of what he said back-â
Asha paused. Star was looking right back at her with sympathy. It left her speechless for a moment. â-most ofâŚmost of what he said backâŚthen.â She faked a cough and shook her head, as if it would help to get rid of the stinging sensation at the back of her throat.
Then, she felt something within her palm. Asha looked down to see a pretty golden flower had been created from stardust just for her. She held it up higher to gaze at its beauty and she felt tears well up again.
âThank you.â Asha whispered and looked at Star while using her fingers to wipe away her eyes. âItâs beautiful.â
The two gazed at each other fondly and with great appreciation for their presence. That was until Asha snapped out of it and returned her gaze to the flower once more.
âAnyways, what Iâm really trying to say isâŚâ She asked. âRemember when I said âStarâ is a placeholder name for now until we think of something better?â
Star nodded, holding on to every word with great interest.
Asha beamed brightly:
Star raised an eyebrow. Shyly, he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed of the fact he isnât too familiar with other human languages besides english. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â
Asha only shyly grinned and slightly ducked her head away to hide the colour on her cheeks. âTrust me. I just think itâs fitting for someone like you.â
Star-âŚ.well, now SueĂąo, could feel himself glow brighter. He might not know what this new name meant, but it already felt perfect. Is that weird? Like the name was meant to be his own from the very beginning.
âOkay. I trust youâd tell me eventually, right?â
Asha teasingly smirked back. âI donât know.â She raised both her hands to sign out one word. âMaybe.â
The boy felt an even weirder feeling of fluttering butterflies inside him. At this rate, heâs only seconds away from smiling uncontrollably.
The duo turned to look up at the night sky together, letting the silence that had initially been confronting and frightening, to settle into a warm comfortable blanket between them both.
SueĂąo. He released a highly-content sigh while repeating the name in his thoughts. Not just any name. His name.
SueĂąo.
He likes it.
âŚâŚ.
Notes:
HEY, HEY, HEY!! Didnât expect the new change didnât you? :DD
Yeah, I know. I did say that âStarâ was going to simply be my Starboyâs name. But then I got tempted by this idea and thought, âThat would be too bad for me to just pass this up.â
Iâm still keeping the below information here that Iâve established before in a previous post. The fact about the natural names of Wishing Stars and Asha initially calling him just âStarâ when they first meet.
In case you havenât searched up the translation yet, SueĂąo means âdream.â And to answer @signed-sapphireâs post on what the RFTS!Starsha duo is called, let me present you:
⨠âHopes and Dreamsâ â¨
Because Asha translates to âhopeâ too. :DD
Ages ago, Iâve found this pretty cool interpretation that helped inspire me of this idea:
âWishesâ are merely just a fantasised want or desire. But itâs usually temporary and fades away if nothing is done about it.
âDreamsâ however, used to be just wishes. But placing actions behind it is what turns it into a dream. Itâs the bigger picture you can see yourself in, to help motivate you through the day.
âHopeâ is the driving fuel to reach that destination. The faith you have that youâll get there eventually.
Without âhope,â you canât reach a dream. And without a âdream,â what motivates and gives hope? What exactly would you be hoping for?
Regardless whether itâs a simple and small dream or an ambitious one, youâd need both to get there.
And I just went: âAWWWW, Imagine if I used that idea.â
Well then, I stopped imagining and basically caved in to just make it a reality. :)
And this is the surprise âdifferentâ post Iâve been mentioning to Saph about and I really hope you guys liked this snippet of a non-canon event in the RFTS!Au.
If I portrayed the panic sequence or anything else in a hurtful or incorrect way, can you pls let me know so I could change it?
Iâm open to hearing what you all think of it and what I should be improving or doing more of next time!! <333333
"A beginning without end, a climax with no closure"
"A state of looping turmoil without rest, surely it'd drive anyone mad given enough time."
"And if time's all you have left, rest assured you find sanctity in knowing Death comes for all eventually, God or Mortal, for there's no truly escaping the crushing weight of the passage of time."
"For you, Death is a mercy most cruel to not be bestowed upon you when you needed it most, for even at your lowest you could not go against your own nature."
It wasnât like her usual burst of rage, where she would trash and scream, but I knew from my bottom of my heart she wasn't mad
This was silent. She was silent.
It was unnerving and eerie, it was like a storm with no thunder, a flame with no heat, it was not right.
She shed no tears as I told her the truth, and for once, I wished she did.
She stared at me, her eyes burning into me
Her eyes, beautiful and brown. They shown golden under sun and were peaceful at night, reflecting the colors of the moon ever so slightly. But right now, they were like the rocks that ships crashed into, like the cliffs that even the biggest waves could not break. They were as cold as the darkest caves.
and for once I wished they werenât
As she grabbed her bag, slinging it over her shoulders, I wished to god I didnât do it, regret crashing into me like the unforgiving waves of the ocean.
She turned, glancing for the last time at me, before giving me a smile.
God her smile, it didnât look right, but it glowed nonetheless. Her smile, and the way her eyes crinkled, and the way her lips curled in and oh just the way you could see her teeth and gum, shining to the world and not a sense of fear as the shimmered.
And with that my resolve broke, god no donât go, stay, I take it back, I didnât mean it.Â
But she was done, she had made her decision, and I knew nothing I did could fix this mistake. Nothing could turn the clock back and I hated it.
With that smile, and those eyes, and her hair, and the grip on her bag, and her glasses and the way her eyebrows soften and her nose crinkled and just how perfect she was.
She smiled and whispered, her voice so honey smooth and sounded like they carried the weight of the world, how I knew that they did.
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On Thursday, I took my HiSET Writing Test at a testing center. I had a lot of anxiety because I thought for sure I wouldnât pass it. Today, I looked up my results and... OH MY GOD!!! I PASSED!!! I was totally not expecting it! This makes me so happy!! All I can say right now is this:
Here is that Handmaidâs Tale Star Wars thing I said Iâd write đł I am so embarrassed.
Only three kinds of ships ever visit Naboo. Supply transports carrying food, medical supplies and some crates of trade goods; diplomatic consular ships transporting dignitaries most of them originating from the core systems of the Empire; and military transports loaded with weapons, and troops ready to use drop ships at any moment to take control of the surface and to shoot down any unidentified ships. In the early days of the newly formed empire the sounds of pulse canons and the crash of wrecked ships was a common occurrence. The night skies would light up with red flashes as the unfortunate ships trying to flee were hit and fires engulfed them as they fell back to the surface. By the following morning the news had already named them terrorists and spies but everyone knew the truth even though no one dared to say it out loud.
Padme sometimes wondered how many of those ships actually made it. She wondered where they went after they got past the naval ships. But most of all she wondered if she would have been on one of those lucky vessels if she had taken the chance to flee when it had been offered to her. Maybe she would have found Anakin by now. If he was still alive. She hoped that he was. She hoped he knew she was still alive too. The news of the bombing at the Senate had listed her as one of those killed. But in reality it was Sabe. The bombing had left several thousand public servants dead and their deaths had ultimately been deemed an act of terrorism orchestrated by the Jedi Order. Padme had watched the broadcasts of the Jedi Temple burning. For once she had been glad Anakin was so far away from the capital. But overall she had never been more terrified. Jedi were dying all across the galaxy killed by their own soldiers at the orders of Chancellor Palpatine. Was Anakin among them? She prayed he wasnât.
A knock at the door caught her attention. On instinct she stood, adjusting her posture, her back straightening and her hands folding across her lap with her head bowed as the door opened. âGood evening, Sabe,â Teckla greeted. The young servantâs eyes never meeting hers.
âGood evening, Teckla,â Padme returned. If there was one blessing in this entire mess, it was that by pure chance her third house assignment had placed her in the same household her friend had been assigned to serve. The young girl had known immediately who she was and being here was the first time in nearly a year where she felt safe being herself if only for a little while.
Teckla shut the door behind her, her eyes glancing at every corner of the room, fear reflecting as clear as the waters at Varykino in her eyes. âI found them,â She whispered. Her fingers shook as she held out a piece of flimsi towards her. Eagerly Padme took it from her and opened it. Printed on the surface was an image of two toddlers sitting side by side playing in what looked like a playroom in a daycare. The boy had short blonde hair and blue eyes and a wide smile as he held a spaceship towards the girl at his side. She had the same wide toothy grin as the boy, her brown hair pulled into two loose buns on either side of her head as she reached her hands out to grab the toy from him. Padme touched a hand to her chest, tears filling her eyes as the looked at the image of the babies. Her babies. Anakinâs babies.
She hasnât seen them since they had been pulled from her arms when she had been assigned her new role in this Hell. If sheâd had them with her, she would have taken the offer to leave when sheâd had the chance. Padme traced her fingers over the image, wishing she could pull them from the image and into her arms again.
âThe address is on the back,â Teckla whispered.
She smiled as she looked up to meet her friendâs eyes. âThank you,â She said. âI know how dangerous this was.â
Her head bowed like it used to when she worked for her, âNothing is too dangerous for you, my lady.â Her head quickly turned back to the door as if she heard something, âI should go, she whispered. Teckla didnât even give a goodbye before she quickly fled the room, the door shutting behind her, leaving Padme alone once again.
The bed creaked as she sat on the edge. Flipping the flimsi over she read the address that had been hastily jotted down. It was in a town about one standard hour away. Not close enough for her to pass on her daily mandated walks. Her head spun with ways to get to her children but none were possible with all the restrictions placed on her and people like her. But now she knew where her children were. Wasnât that worth the risk? Once she had them she could find a way off world. She could try and find the Rebellion that had slowly started to take shape. Even here there were whispers of their actions in the Outer Rim. Some say they are a group run by disgruntled senators from the former Republic. Others say they have Jedi in their ranks. If anything she has heard is true, than it may be a chance to give her children some freedom and if they were lucky, maybe she would finally be able to make contact with Anakin. But that still left the question of how she was going to get them off world. And the chance of even getting that far was slim. Padme laid down on the bed with a heavy sigh. What was she going to do?
Ceremony days. For the most part her new role in society was easy to deal with. Do the shopping, attend gatherings, pray⌠the Ceremony and the months that may follow were unbearable. The Emperor deemed it a ârewardâ for some of his most loyal subjects. Each world had a set of judges that ranked a small group of women by their beauty and their fertility. The process was abhorrent, chauvinistic, and humiliating on every level. The so called ârewardâ Palpatine promises those deemed worthy was a child. Children born by the new class named the Handmaids were given special rights and privileges that filter through to the immediate families of the child. The children of the Empire are given the very best. Health care, education, wealth, an all but guaranteed position in the galaxy when they become of age⌠all of it was a means of control. Such gifts would help placate those in power and those with wealth that could challenge the new regime while at the same time fostering the growth of the next generation.
As for the Handmaids, their rights were practically nonexistent. Once a month their host family would spend a night trying to impregnate them and the rest of the time they were servants. And for those who do manage to conceive, once the baby is born and they are weaned off breast milk, they are forced to leave the child as if nothing happened. It was cruel. It was a violation of natural rights. But the war, the attacks, the fear⌠it all worked to keep the system working. Padme knew fear could only hold it together for so long. But with Palpatineâs power virtually unlimited for the moment, there was no telling how long it would take before the cracks started to take shape.
Padme stayed cloistered in her small bedroom all day. When she had been trained on what Ceremony days should be like, she had been told it was her duty to pray she would conceive, and that the child would grow to be a loyal subject in the Empire, to fill her thoughts with the glory of the Empire, and to regard her duty as her contribution to that glory. Padme was not so foolish to believe such lies. But the psychological torment of the training Handmaids had to endure certainly put enough fear into making them at least pretend they did.
Her stomach tightened as the sun started to set. It was nearly time. Instinctively her hand fell down to her stomach again. At her last assignment she had conceived. She bore that family a son. A boy she saw maybe for two hours a day for six months before she left and was forced into this new household. She felt nothing. Nothing but dread at the prospect of it happening again. The clock in the foyer downstairs chimed, signaling the end of the last hour of her cloister. This would be the last night. In her final prayer before heading downstairs to start the Ceremony, Padme prayed that she would find Anakin. She prayed that she would get her children out of this place. But most importantly, she prayed that the Empire would fall.
