Send me ‘✂’ and my muse will kill yours. | accepting | @wretchedrunesHe didn’t mean to do it. not really. But after everything that had gone on with the war and losing max, the shadowhunter hadn’t been sleeping like he used to. his mind is plagued with the images of dead shadowhunters and downworlders- people he knew and cared for, and unbeknownst to him, he screams in his sleep only to wake up in tears with a sore throat. on nights when alec stays at the Institute instead of at magnus’, his dreams turn into reality; without the warlock there to help him snap out of it, his nightmares become true. that’s how this happened. it was an accident. one that he never wanted to happen. he’d been dreaming- sleep walking, really. deciding to stay and let izzy go in his place to fend off the demons entering the city, alec’s left alone with his brother until a shadowy figure enters the room. wait- he knows this story.. it’s sebastian. it has to be sebastian. his mind fills in the blanks for him, and the shadowhunter panics. he’s going to hurt max! no- that can’t happen. alec won’t let that happen. without a second thought, the eldest lightwood pulls out his seraph blade, shoving it all the way to the hilt through sebastian’s chest. dead. he was dead. but why were the screams coming from his voice from a female? why could he feel the blood on his hand, but couldn’t see it coming from sebastian’s body? the image starts to blur, and it seems like the whole world’s tilting. ‘this isn’t real. this isn’t real. this isn’t real.’the mantra is said over and over in his head before his vision clears, and on shaky feet, he looks around the room- at the blade in his hand, covered in blood. but who’s? if the dream wasn’t real, then who could he have possibly hurt?looking down, he sees the body of the red head he’d grown to know and trust over the years. clary. no, it was clary.this can’t be real. this can’t be happening. he has to be dreaming still. but no matter how hard he said the words, the image never fades. the young shadowhunter still lay at his feet eerily still. bending down, he checks her pulse, and despite finding none, he still tries to bandage the wound- still tries to save the girl he murdered.