#worldsworstemployee

*The trio getting into the car*

Two: I'm driving.

One, out of view: "Shotgun!"

Three/Web, turning to look at One: "Aww but you had it on the way here-"

Everyone except for Three/Web: "WOAH-"

One, holding a shotgun: "No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*"

Three/Web: "I told Two his ears flush when they lie."

One: "Why?"

Three/Web: "Look."

Three/Web: "HEY TWO! DO YOU LOVE US?!"

Two, covering his ears: "No."

One:

Three/Web: "Heres a fun Christmas idea. We hang a mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it."

Two: "Web. No."

One: "Mistlefoe!"

Two: "Please stop encouraging him."

Three/Web: "I'm having a baby."

One: "Thats grea-"

Three/Web, slamming adoption papers on the table: "Its you. Sign here."

Two: "WHY. Why did you give One a KNIFE?!"

Three/Web: "I apologize. He said he felt unsafe."

Two: "NOW I FEEL UNSAFE."

Three/Web: "Apologies."

Three/Web: "...would you like a knife?"

Two: "NO!"

Three/Web: "Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth now that I can eat?"

Two: "You're a hazard to society."

One: "And a coward. DO TWENTY."

One: "In my defense, I was left unsupervised."

Two: "Wasn't Web with you?"

Three/Web: "In my defense, I was also left unsupervised."

*Two and One sitting in jail together*

One: "So... who should we call?"

Two: "I'd call Web, but I feel safer in jail."

One: *Screams*

Three/Web: *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Roscoe: "Should we do something..?"

Two: "No, I want to see who wins this."

Roscoe: "Judging from last time, you know its gonna be One."

Two: "Web still has a fighting chance as long as One doesn't get bitey."

Roscoe: "Fair."

Three/Web, setting down a card: "Ace of spades."

Two, pulling out an Uno card: "4+"

One, pulling out a Pokemon card: "Jolteon, I choose you."

Poppy, trembling: "What are we playing...-"

Three/Web: "HA! 69! You know what that means?"

One: "What-?"

Two: "That you're a child."

Roscoe: "HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ-?!?"

Two: "I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions-?"

Three/Web: "Put spaghetti in it."

Two: "I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you."

One: "Put spaghetti in it."

Two: "I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two."

Roscoe and Poppy, at the same time: "Put spaghetti in it."

Two: "I'm no longer taking suggestions."

Roscoe: "I think we're missing something."

Poppy: "Teamwork?"

Two: "Cohesion?"

One, deadpan: "A general sense of what we're doing?"

Roscoe: "How did none of you hear what I just said..??"

One: "I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours."

Three/Web: "I got distracted about halfway through."

Two: "Ignoring you was a conscious decision."

Roscoe: "Why isn't the statue smirking at me?"

Poppy: "It isn't smirking at anyone, they're all just imagining it."

Roscoe: "Three of us saw it, Poppy. How do you explain that?"

Poppy: *Points at Two* Sleep deprivation. *Points at One* Paranoia. *Points at Three/Web* Delusional personality disorder.

One: "Is anyone d—"

Three/Web: "Depressed?"

Two: "Drained..?"

Poppy: "Dumb?"

Roscoe: "Disliked?"

One: "-done with their work... what is WRONG with you people..."

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Roscoe: "So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know."

One: "...I did. I broke it-"

Roscoe: "No. No you didn't. Web?"

Three/Web: "Don't look at me. Look at Two."

Two: "What-?? I didn't break it."

Three/Web: "Huh, thats weird. How'd you even know it was broken?"

Two: "Because it's sitting right in front of us... and it's broken."

Three/Web: "Suspicious."

Two: "No it's not!"

Anon 3: "If it matters, probably not, but Poppy was the last one to use it."

Poppy: "LIAR! I don't even drink that stuff!"

Anon 1: "Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?"

Poppy: "I use the wooden stirrers to comb out knots and pin my hair better. Everyone knows that ANON!!"

One: "Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me fix it Roscoe-"

Roscoe: "NO! WHO BROKE IT?!"

Everyone:

Three/Web: "Roscoe... Catnap's been awfully quiet-"

Catnap: "rEALLY?! OH MY PROTO-"

*Everyone starts arguing*

Roscoe, being interviewed: "I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it."

Roscoe: "I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each others throats with warpaint on their faces and Dogdays head on a stick."

Roscoe:

Roscoe: "Good. It was getting a little chummy around here."

And now some one liners from the Prototrio:

One: "I'd like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals."

One, as a human: "You wanna see how hardcore I am?"

One: *punches a wall*

One:

One, starting to tear up: "tAKe mE tO the hOSPitaL."

Web: "If you can't beat em. *does a hairflip with his hat* Dress better than em."

One: "With great power comes a great need to take a nap. Wake me up later."

One: "I'm sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don't know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. NOTHING has been proven yet! Stop making assumptions. It's rude."

One, surrounded by a hoard of Miss Delights: "Well well weeelll.... if it isn't my old friend: the dawning realization that a fricked up bad."

One, playing a VR game with a headset the anons gave him: "Y'see, that's the thing. It PROBABLY is fine. It's PROBABLY 100% okay. There are PROBABLY no spiders in this headset."

One: "BUT— as you may be able to relate to- If you find a spider in your headset, and then have to put that headset on to play video games..."

One: "YoU jUsT dOnT gEt ToO cOMfOrTaBlE!"

Two: "So. Apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress."

Two:

Two: "I'm not gonna admit this to anyone else. If you tell anyone I'm tying you to a stick and hanging you upside down over a pit hole."

Three/Web: "If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then have the gods strike me down where I stand!"

*Lightning strikes Web*

Three/Web: "HA! NICE TRY, JACKASS!! Next time, give it your A-game!!"

*More lightning strikes him*

Three/Web: "ONE TAKE ME TO DOCTOR SAWYER I CANT FEEL MY SPINE—"

Two: "You'll have a hard time believing this because it never happens... but I made a mistake."

Two: "I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than f**k."

Three/Web, as a human: "I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying."

Characters and who they belong to :)

One: ( Me! )

Three/Web: ( @immortalwebofdecay )

Two: ( @experiment--1006 )

Poppy, Roscoe: ( @worldsworstemployee )

Anons: ( You guys )

A trio of entities are on the suveillance system - two humans, a female who looks like a Poppy Playtime doll if it had come to life while the male is....an unknown variable, gangly limbs and raggedy hair above one eye and an eyepatch. The third is....it appears to be a mismatched jumble of toy parts, and it is VERY animated, going off how much it's jumping about and cursing up a storm.

Most noticably, the humans are armed - the woman has what looks like a set of metal claws adorning her hands while the boy....well, he's carrying an axe that has been duct-taped together. The doll is the only one unnarmed, but considering the nasty bite those toys can have....well.

The Doctor better hope those doors are sealed tight....

@worldsworstemployee

Ah. He severely underestimated the Gray creature.

Claws reach out to close the lab doors (not that it would do much, as time and constant damage made them weaker) in some little hope that it would do anything.

The trio were coming for him, he knew. But luckily he stored a secret back up- not that Yarnaby would know how to turn it on. So he’d set it on a timer to come online when enough time passed…

All that was in the hallway was a few scattered feathers here and there there.

Soft tremors could be felt throughout the factory as a large mechanical jester spider made his way through a hallway closest to the area where he hid to rest, relax and maintain repairs on himself. Today though, in the bag strapped onto his waist was a brand new voice box, for none other than Rei, the one he had come to enjoy being around. Despite having the present for the little catnap, he looked as if he was searching frantically for something, and in reality he was. Rei had wandered off again like he normally did, even though the Prototype himself told him that his company was welcomed and he didn’t mind having him around. He so badly wanted to give this new voice box to Rei but for the life of him couldn’t find his little friend anywhere.

This was about the time that his thoughts wondered to the darker end. What if that doctor had him? He felt his teeth clench in anger and in worry, the only thing his permanent grinning face could do as he searched for the cat, his movements clearly showing he was getting more worried by the second. It was about this time when he had bent down to a small vent to look in, it was small, and he’d seen Rei enter here a few times to hide so he decided to try and squeeze himself in to get a better look.

His giant spider-like mechanical body crouches and the two front legs and two back legs help him scoot deeper into the vent as his upper half was now laying on the cold vent floor. He used his hands and legs to squeeze himself in and scoot forwards inch by inch. He barely fit and that would become apparent when one of the red smoke tanks strapped to his side snagged on something inside the vent that he couldn’t see past his enormous hulking lower half, and then when he tried to move more, he was met with a gentle jerk and stayed in place.

His head lifts then turns to look at what had happened. His needle like hands flat against the metal of the vent, his jester hat’s bells jiggling as his head moved to examine what was wrong and why he was stuck. Funnily enough, the Prototype had gotten pretty far into that small vent, about halfway in until he’d gotten stuck, and now, he was extremely hoping Rei or anyone else wasn’t around to see this. Rei especially wouldn’t let him live it down, his other selves would be in the floor laughing.

A loud groan of mechanic frustration escapes him and he attempts to back up, pushing forward with his hands, hid front legs pulling until a scrap sound then he swiftly stops. Oh no. He stays still, and just lays as he examines himself again. He couldn’t see a damned thing in here, so instead he felt around with one of his hands.

He felt around his waist, up his lower back to where one of the tanks was, the one lodged into the vent and did in fact feel something had punctured it. He hisses. Well wonderful! Great…If he moved now the whole vent was going to fill with smoke. He didn’t want that and in his anger, his other hand clenches into a fist and he slams it to the side of the metal vent hard.

Oh great, the Butcher is here.

... except...that's not the Butcher, is it?

Wings as big as Lucifer's curl around the man, the inky first kiss of night in contrast to her own fiery rays of the dawn. Behind him, a long tail coils and uncoils, feathered end flickering rapidly like a rattlesnake.

Eyes are focused, intense, locked right on her face, mouth pulled into a tight smile.

"Kiddo. Don't. It ain't worth it."

Don't...what? What isn't worth it?

H3 glances down at her hands now. He k n o w s. Knows about the artifact, the needle.

"It's dangerous."

@worldsworstemployee

[The first alarm bells should have rung when kiddo doesn't send them immediately bristling.]

[That, and the fact that there's barely a flicker of reaction as that dulled brown eye trails idly over the Butcher's wings. The antithesis to her own. ...And there, at the end of her left arm, spidery talons delicately curl in on themselves. Needles in their own right.]

[Too late, Angel.]

[She doesn't pause to question just how he knows. So. Another of them that Saw.]

I beg to differ.

[Just as idle, he lifts the needle a little higher, gaze shifting away from Roscoe to examine the wicked tip once again.]

Do you really expect any of us to be put off by danger, Butcher? I know what I am doing.

Roscoe is staring at 3, eyes narrowed in a cartoonish exaggeration of scrutiny and finger tapping at his chin as he looks the Prototype up and down several times. It's also clear he is trying very, VERY hard not to smile, going off the way the edges of his mouth are twitching.

On his shoulder, Poppy looks...well, hesitant, concerned, basically not happy with this situation, tugging not-so-gently on the human's ear, "Roscoe, don't you dare -"

The man ignores her, snapping his fingers suddenly as he gives in to the urge to grin, a snarky little expression. It's like he WANTS to get stabbed again...

"I got it! You got a new haircut!"

"Oh my god..."

@worldsworstemployee

Oh the biggest smile creeps onto his brand new face as he stares down at the Butcher and Poppy from his towering raised and confident posture. His violet eyes move to Poppy then to Roscoe as his smile grows ever wider with each passing second, with each comment the both of them would say. His hands gently clasped elegantly behind his back, his mechanical spider legs adjusting themselves and one of them slightly tapping as his new eyes stare deeply into the both of them, like he was staring straight into their souls.

It was extremely amusing just watching this, and Roscoe’s obvious ploy at a joke made his smile grow wider yet again. It looked like he was having none of Roscoe’s stupidity, but in reality he was in an intense fit of amusement on the inside.

A soft chuckle escapes his voice box, the slightly older Ollie voice he had been keeping on throughout stayed all up into he said Roscoe’s title, forcefully making it demonic and dark to attempt to scare him. He was extremely amused by all of this, he found this funny.

“Hello Poppy…BUTCHER…” he settles into a smirk as he continues, “Hmm…I do look different..” he leans closer, his grin widening again as he slightly glares right into Roscoe’s eyes, like he was tempting him to say something more, “No…Not a new haircut…Try again..”

@worldsworstemployee

Wonderfully. And why do you care?

[She's back on the nearest table again. There seems to be an ongoing theme.]

--

The doll-angel is not happy. Nobody upsets one of his kids.

@worldsworstemployee

“S-Sawyer please don’t put it on.. PLEASE!”

Oh he was out of it, reliving some horrid memory and begging like his life depended on it. His eyes were shut, tears flowing, acting like a terrified child.

@worldsworstemployee

“How curious!”

How did a bird even manage to get in the labs in the first place? And then he was irritated. “I would like my tools back, feather brain.” He wasn’t operating, not yet.