#workshop rambles

So if the proshipping stuff isn’t enough for someone, maybe they should also consider that they shouldn’t be supporting someone who is capable of coming up with false allegations about someone for their own benefit, especially when they feel absolutely no remorse about it.

I was unaware of this. Thank you for this information, anon.

I will say if proshipping isn't enough for some people, those some people probably weren't that decent of people to begin with, and I say kick them out with Hadadit.

I don't have any voices, that's lonely I am, and here's this mf bragging to my face.

Feels like this:

CRP Fandom: "This disorder/theme was horribly misrepresented."

Me: "Sure is! We gonna do something about it?"

CRP Fandom: "No."

Like we agreed, but not much else.

I'm sure there are projects out there, but whatever ones there are, they're very much undermined by the status quo. I think we should make an effort to educate ourselves because I still see a lot of people just being lazy and writing Toby with a stutter rather than actual Tourette's, among other things, like just ignoring a disorder a character had. (There are many other examples like themes, I'm just using Toby as an example)

I've been thinking about this a lot, and it's driving me fucking crazy.

Like, think about it REALLY think about it:

Started off goofy and fun, but later we started noticing some flaws and stuff and realized some of it was fucked

Underwear on the outside, but also racism, got a quirky house with serial killers, for some reason, IEPFB had some questionable decisions, and also everyone wanted every female character fucking dead.

Got more realistic, and that was cool, but then we started getting too "realistic" and lost some of the whimsy, and then we started conflating edge and dark shit with realism, which then led to tasteless and offensive

Got cool shit and some JTK rewrites, then came misongy and constant rape headcannons and ablism.

Also, TMF (whether that series was a good or bad is for you to decide I ain't fucking touching, The Duke was all I cared about)

Now we're kinda in like an in-between with some hits and misses

AO3 is a Hellscape, got cool comics like IEPFB: Revisited and H0ll0wT0wn, and of course, me, the greatest CrP creator of all time.

I'm dead fucking serious about this, though.

Jeff going from this:

To this

Is the same as Batman going from this

To this

What up, alpha nation, awoo, bark bark bark uhhhhhh ablism.

Did a coin flip between Toby's headcannons or Roman's Mental Hospital forgot which was heads and tails, and I went with my heart, and now we're here.

Ablism. (TW: Ablism, abuse, sucidial ideation, and more, discretion advised :3)

I loath it, you loathe it(hopefully), we all loathe it. Wanna know what I also loathe? This entire fucking fandom.

It's no secret, but I think everyone, even me, understate how much this fandom sucks, it sucks so much it cucks, it cucks so much it sucks type shit.

Quick Context:

I'm writing a fanfic (Clockwork's Hellish Adventure, on AO3, go read it) that's a loose rewrite of Needles and Smiles (Terrible audio drama, don't listen to it), and by fate or coincidence, I have been exposed to a lot of this fandom's ablism than I would have wanted to but it's given me a brilliant idea for how to tackle Roman's Mental Hospital(my setting for my fic)

We follow drastically different versions of the hospital:

When it's under the guidance of Dr. Roman.

When it's under the control of Dr. Paxton.

Roman's Mental Hospital:

The fandom fucking sucks and so does this hospital.

Roman is a good man with good intentions, but he fucking sucks and doesn't fully treat everyone right.

WOW

Go back to 2011 to 2017, somewhere around there, I don't care. IJustWannaHaveFun is making memes, Kastoway is having fun with Toby before his dumbass does 180 and mischaracterizes his own Goddamn character before abandoning it like my parents abandoned me, TicciWork is alive, albeit they only give a shit about the "Ticci" half, but the main thing:

WE WERE ABLIST BABY

Writers are throwing "Schizophrenia" and "Bipolar" on their OCs without even understanding either, Sully isn't an "alter," but Liu's evil alter ego, and Toby's entire schtick is "mentally ill murder man scaaaaary" oh my fucking God, how have you cunts not realized that? Kastoway didn't give a fuck about any of the disorders he threw on Toby, he was just an ablist cunt.

We loved to coddle these characters, I mean, look at Toby, he has a cute wittle stutter omg I just wanna eat up uwu (Except for Tim cause he was fat and that was icky, so we twinkified him, stay tuned for when I talk about the fucking fatphobia and bodism in this fandom nexy week)

I shouldn't have to explain why I coddle the mentally ill, real or fictional. If I have to, then you can just go ahead and suck my fat girl cock, you dumb bitch.

Paxton's Mental Hospital:

Skip to like 2020 to now: TMF is a thing, TikTok is a thing, BaptismOnFire left, and we still suck ass.

In the words of past me from like a minute ago, "it sucks so much it cucks, it cucks so much it sucks."

Now y'all are fucking edgelords, y'all are just mini-Garth Ennis's writing the original Boy comic, y'all still not doing your fucking research.

Y'all have not changed and even gotten worse, embracing the whole stereotype "mental illness = scary."

The whole "realism" bs and the "realism = pessimism" bs have done a number on this God damned fandom.

In a similar vein:

Paxton is a dehumanizing asshole.

Fuck You:

Do you know how fucking infuriating it is to go through two suicide attempts and see a bunch of little shits say "you can't live a happy life" and act like their horrid depiction of a disorder is the shit for being "dark" and "edgy."

You are all little cunts.

I was neglected by my parents, I tried slitting my wrists twice, I have anxiety so bad I have a hard time holding a conversation with my own boyfriend, I wasn't just a victim, I was an asshole too, my ex-girlfriend dumped me for good reasons, I had to claw my way to get even kind of stable living conditions and to make my relationship with my parents and boyfriend work so seeing you fuckers not change and even get worse since 2017 is fucking infuriating.

Mental illness is so much more complex than anything I could even imagine. Do your fucking research and have nuance.

Understand how these characters were all playing off dumb and harmful tropes, the only reason all these characters were made evil murderers was that everyone wanted to bounce off Jeff, the reason Toby has a list of disorders longer than my dick is cause his entire trope was "mental illness = scary."

Am I overreacting? Yes, you dumb fuck. But fiction reflects who you are, and a lot of you are fucking ablist and pessimistic assholes.

I did not claw my way through my own issues and two suicide attempts to be coddled or dehumanized or for you dickwads to say I can't live a happy life.

Jane and Liu are T4T.

The other Jane is still a Lesbian

Jeff is a Trans woman, but she would rather become the Anti-Christ than accept that reality.

Eyeless Jack is painfully straight but genderfluid and flips between genders a lot.

Bloody Painter, self-explanatory.

Slenderman, self-explanatory.

The Collective, self-explanatory.

HABIT, self-explanatory.

Zalgo, self-explanatory.

Toby is Bigender, but he's still gonna do a lot of fucked up shit before she chills the fuck out and accepts that.

Luring Lyra, Cis, Bi, Poly, and the GOAT

Clockwork is kinda straight, but she's shagging Toby, so idk.

Kate is Bisexual.

K. Kate is a Lesbian, but in a problematic way, and we all hate her, and she will suffer greatly.

You, yes you, idk what you are, but the fact that you're in this fandom, you're probably something.

Luring Lyra is such a can of worms, and I have a nightmare trying to explain her every time:

She was a character made by srosen123 on Wattpad:

Her whole concept is that she's Toby's sister returned as a ghost or zombie or something, and it was really bad, and she peaked in like the Gacha and TikTok side of the fandom, and now it's just this fucking image.

It was really bad and made out of spite cause the creators ex partner kinned Toby, and it showed.

I don't wanna be THAT guy but she was also ALL the stereotypes of a CrP OC too:

Mary Sue

Badass

Cool

It was fucking ridiculous cause there was a moment where she beat her Dad, like what do you mean, what do you meaaaaaan?

I also might be the reason her og story got deleted on Wattpad. I wrote an admittedly rude critique on Wattpad, and the next day it was just gone.

I still feel bad for that, but the creator doesn't seem to give that much of a shit; he does TF2 fanfics now.

So here I am, the only person who gives a shit about this chick. Let us begin:

Lyra Rozansky:

Lyra's life sucked ass having a PTSD-riddled father, enabler mother, mentally ill brother, all while being Jewish in the 50s doesn't really equal the best living environment.

She was put under a lot of pressure by Ma and Pop cause she was the only one of the two children to actually maybe have a future.

Lyra was the golden goose, but all she wanted was to take care of her brother and live a peaceful life, so when she hit 18, she tried to run away with Toby, but the road didn't work.

The last thing she remembered was a piece of shrapnel piercing her heart, then waking up in her own coffin.

I have A LOT planned for her story; she's veeeeeeeery important to my AU.

I'm still working on her fic, but my main inspiration is Case #3 of TMF, it's basically gonna be that but filled with hippie culture and less copaganda.

But yeah, I'm very excited for that. I hope to make a comic of the fic one day. I do love Luring Lyra a lot, and I hope I can be something like H0ll0wT0wn I would love to be to her, what H0ll0wT0wn was to Lazari, and reimagine her in a new light and introduce her to a whole new audience.

That's all I had though for today friends and enemies,

"Extra edge!"

"And do bare minimum research on the characters' disorders and themes!"

"And do bare minimum research on the characters' disorders and themes?"

"And flesh out some of the characters, they're not all abusive, evil murder machines!"

"AND FLESH OUT SOME OF THE CHARACTERS?"

"Hey Jimmy! Gimmie a CrP AU with effort!"