#wonderingthoughts

~Wondering Thoughts~

Also me: Crying over my duvet bc I remember talking to him and showing it to him when I bought it

 Sometimes, on days like this that are seemingly bleak and off putting strange I wonder the what if’s, how comes and why’s? Like for starters I wonder about going back in time ( haven’t we all?) and again my brain is like what if...? Like it would really change anything. We all have thoughts some more running astray then others but still the same result. Maybe I’m bored and lonely in my own company ? Maybe depressed? I don’t have the answers, I think we all ponder and wonder the seemingly same old questions. Sure their is quite a lot I wish for like having a family and friends like most do ( or maybe most THINK they do) but we are sociable creatures and need that simple thing called ‘ sociability’. I have none of such things. I have acquaintances, work people I vibe with but not the ‘friends’ from like childhood where people grew up with (I moved a lot as a kid with parents being divorced when I was about roughly in the 2nd - 3rd grade). Ever since my Nana passed and went astray to live at my mothers things changed. No more being included in family events, the feeling of being part of the family, being asked periodically “how are you?”. I get none of those things. You look around and people have siblings and aunts etc. they go out with and share moments but I have none. The last phone call I received was from my father telling me my aunt passed away. I long for the feeling of belonging whether in a social network or family , it’s the same in my bleak eyes. For now, I ponder and wonder because I, myself am the only person to talk to.

• “You can close your eyes to the thing you don’t want to see, but you can’t close your heart to the thing you don’t want to feel.” • Không biết trước thế nào, nhưng, hãy tin mình, lần này, được không? 🎞 Fuji Superia 400 #peace #mycorner #wonderingthoughts #redriver #scenery #boat #film #filmphoto #filmcamera #filmisnotdead #keepfilmalive #iusefilm #ilovefilm #thefilmcommunity #olympus #fujifilm #fujisuperia400 #35mm #35mmfilm #croplabhn (tại Bãi Đá Sông Hồng) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIvh5pMh2Y90BaSaRX8bQIwzLPW8G0os6pQdFI0/?igshid=17qal27ni76ln

Picture a wave. ⠀ In the ocean.⠀ You can see it, measure it, its height, the way the sunlight refracts when it passes through.⠀ And it's there. ⠀ And you can see it, you know what it is. It's a wave.⠀ ⠀ And then it crashes in the shore and it's gone.⠀ But the water is still there. ⠀ The wave was just a different way for the water to be, for a little while. ⠀ You know it's one conception of death for Buddhists: the wave returns to the ocean, where it came from and where it's supposed to be. #wonderingthoughts #travelblogger #blacktravelblogger #inmourning #ripdad (at Mahaut, Dominica) https://www.instagram.com/p/CESmhyhpJnL/?igshid=15xzkrd4uqk6x