#won't you

and she's been sick, too sick to make those appointments, a flu that one of the kids brought back from college over winter break leaving her stuck on the couch, unable to take care of them, of herself the way she's used to.

it has happened already, she knows that. but until she gets out of the shower that morning, finally clean after days in her pyjamas, she's been able to forget the strands of silver shot through her hair, even though they catch on her brush every morning, coarser than the rest of her curls, snarling together like they're planning some kind of munity. it's easier to ignore what she cannot see.

max taught her that a long ago.

she must stare at her roots for longer than she realises, her fingers pulling at the traitorous hairs, the sharp pull at her scalp some kind of balm to the fear growing rapidly inside her. she's becoming something she never wanted to be. something no one can find beautiful. loveable.

she knows she's been longer than expected when cc barrels into their bathroom, her face painted with concern, a hint of fear in her eyes.

"i thought you might have slipped, you've been in here forever."

fran doesn't reply and cc's eyes fall on where she's twisting her hair around her fingers, pulling it and wincing slightly.

"what's wrong?"

"nothing."

cc raises an eyebrow.

"i just...i haven't made it to the salon recently, is all. it's starting to show."

it's unfair, she thinks, that cc's definitely going grey and that no one notices it against the flaxen gold of her hair, two precious metals intertwined.

it's more unfair that cc doesn't seem to care.

"oh, darling."

cc's standing behind her before she can say anything else, anything like she knows it's stupid, like she'll book an appointment this week, like she doesn't want cc to see. to look at her like this.

she wraps fran in her arms, her chin resting on the top of her head, locking eyes with her in the steam-streaked mirror.

"i know what you're thinking."

she always does.

"but it's...it's a privilege to see you like this."

she kisses the part of fran's hair, so gently that it barely feels like a kiss at all.

"it's a privilege to grow old with you, after...everything."

another kiss, against the grey at fran's temples.