How about a reality where Rumi figures out sheâs gay at a super young age.
Celine is still involved in the industry, in a more administrative role than when she was an idol, but she still has work friends and occasionally attends awards events. She always brings Rumi along, (because Celine may be a calm and collected badass about anything else, but when it comes to Rumi, sheâs a total softie with separation anxiety).
Rumi adores going to grown up events with her Eomma. She loves picking out sparkly dresses and twirling in front of the mirror. She makes every person on Celineâs team call her Princess Rumi and demands Celine put her down so she can do a proper bow/curtsey before insisting she be carried to their next location because sheâs royalty.
But as much as she enjoys showing off to the staff backstage, she likes the actual awards ceremonies even more. Usually a child wouldnât be welcome at these events, but Rumi is the picture of politeness, sitting with her hands in her lap, oohing and ahhing over the attendees, judging every outfit as they step on stage. When she really likes a dress, she pulls on Celineâs sleeve and loudly whispers, âThatâs a pretty one!â She stares at the elaborate hair and makeup, making mental notes of what she likes and doesnât. When one of Celineâs old friends stops by to say hi after the event, Rumi is entranced by her long, intricate braid swishing around her hips and the way her lavender purple dress sparkles. She wonders if Celine also likes the specific shade of purple because when the woman reaches out and delicately grazes Celineâs arm, her Eomma turns bright red and suddenly declares that itâs way past Rumiâs bedtime.
On the way home, Rumi asks Celine why she wears pants instead a dress like all the other pretty ladies at the party. Celine shouldnât be surprised that Rumiâs so observant and curious, but the question catches her off guard. She stills for a second and grasps the necklace with the aqua blue stone she always wears, the one Rumi has seen in old pictures of a woman Celine says is her real Eomma, before telling Rumi that sometimes, people are just more comfortable and feel more like themselves in different types of outfits. Rumi makes Celine promise to always let her wear pretty princess dresses for their two person dance parties they have in the kitchen after these events. Celine obviously agrees.
On the rare occasion that she interacts with other kids, usually the offspring of various idols, Rumi is entranced by their moms with their long, shiny black hair and delicate gold jewelry they wear on their hands. She comes home from play dates talking about how she wants to grow up to be just as beautiful and nice as so-and-soâs Eomma.
It isnât until she shares this sentiment with other girls her age, who make fun of her and tell her how weird she is for gushing about their moms, that she realizes not everyone appreciates women the way she does. She also starts noticing that any time she shows Celine a new group of pretty, female idols, Celineâs eyes flash with something far away and bad, some emotion seven-year-old Rumi canât quite put her finger on but thinks it means that what sheâs doing is hurting her Eomma.
Her patterns, once regulated to a small spot under her right collarbone, begin to spread. She knows itâs connected to her being half-demon like Celineâs always explained, but maybe itâs also because thereâs something else deep inside her that was made wrong.
She starts spending less time dancing in pretty dresses and more time training in athletic wear, convincing Celine to spar with her despite her small stature. Sheâs good at this, at taking all her emotions sheâs not supposed to have in her little body and using them to fight bad guys, to fight the bad things in her that seem to never totally go away. Rumi figures maybe she wasnât made for soft things like love, but rather as a weapon to be used during times of struggle and war.
The next time Celine invites her to a work event, Rumi turns it down, saying she doesnât feel like giving up time she could be practicing her flips in their home gym instead.
It continues like this until Rumi is trading anything that makes her happy for anything that makes her feel strong and safe and secure. She thinks that maybe one day, sheâll meet the other trainees Celine has told her about and get to turn the Honmoon gold. Maybe, if she can turn the Honmoon gold, her patterns, and all the confusing, smoldering feelings sheâs tucked away for the past decade will fade too.
When Rumi meets Mira and Zoey, sheâs enchanted by them, by the way Miraâs long legs move with such precision and grace, by the way she can see Zoeyâs tongue moving at the speed of light every time she raps.
Rumiâs stomach drops when she realizes that no matter the color of the Honmoon, sheâll never be able to turn off this hidden, shamed part of her she hoped no one would ever see.
