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After the wolf attack the fact that Vans face has healthier together is a remarkable thing. However…
For the rest of their life Van has issues chewing, their jaw also dislocates all the time.
Their face is not the only place they have scares they have some big claw marks on the top of their shoulders and shoulder blade. They are all raised and didn’t heal as well as the ones on Vans face.
Vans eye… In the wolf attack Van’s retina detached and never healed well. They now have only 50% vision in that eye.
Van thought their eye would heal but over the months post attack they realised that was not going to happen (queue a break down in the realisation that they were “broken”. Also queue Tai finding them and comforting Van saying they were beautiful and handsome etc)
When Van is having nightmares Tai traces patterns around their scars to calm them.
Nat thinks Van looks and I quote “fucking sick dude”
In the summer months in the wilderness it took Van a while to go shirtless (sports bra only or not just vibe it) it wasn’t until Tai started drooling over Vans shoulder muscles that they had the confidence.
Back in society Van wishes she could go back to the wilderness where nobody would stare at her because of her scars.
In the hospital after they were rescued Van was kept in for long for reconstructive surgery on their jaw. All they ended up doing was removing some scar tissue but nothing that helped.
Tai likes to kiss all of Van’s scars obvi.
Van wears glasses with different prescriptions help their vision.
Although 50% blind bright sunlight really affect their eye so they often are wearing sunglasses.
(Stepparent Van)
Van allows Sammy to draw with felt tips around their scars to make “Sammy tattoos” , one time he accidentally used sharpies… Tai couldn’t stop laughing at the fact that Van has a 6 year olds version of a dragon on their face that wouldn’t come off.
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can't get over the idea of a yellowjackets au where van dies from her injuries from the wolf attack.
everything still happens the same in s1. van survives the attack, tai stays with her, the others help carry her back, they stitch her up. laura lee dies trying to fly for help. tai makes them masks and they come out at doomcoming. the hunt happens. van tries to explain about the connection with Something out here in the wilderness. tai dismisses her before trying to comfort her and smooth things over. lottie kills the bear. jackie dies in her sleep.
but van's injuries become infected. there's nothing they can do. does she hide it from the others at first? does she take shrooms and drink berry wine to dull the pain? it's not quick, like laura lee and jackie.
tai blames herself. van doesn't blame her, but she doesn't understand how she could survive plane crashes and fire and wolves only to die from blood poisoning. lottie comes out with some of the wilderness cult stuff (this is what It wants and all that) and tai could kill her, but it brings van comfort, so tai relents. at least van's able to say goodbye before she dies.
tai wouldn't keep her in the meat shed. tai would want to cremate her right away, like after the wolf attack.
and tai... well she is the queen of repression. i think she'd just soldier on. keep trying to keep everyone together, help shauna through her pregnancy, survive the winter, while anytime she falls asleep her subconscious takes over and her grief causes chaos.
there's a deep connection between tai, lottie and shauna. because they all lost the person they loved most. they all blame themselves. and they're all handling it (or not handling it) very differently.
and maybe season 2 plays out very similarly. van's scenes are pretty much all with tai anyway. tai still talks with van in private. she knows it's just a part of grief, she knows van's not a ghost and not really there (right?) but she feels crazy anyhow.
shauna talking with jackie's corpse freaks tai out (projecting much) but lottie insists it's healthy. tai finds out shauna's moving jackie's body around and she loses it. they're going to cremate jackie right away, like they should've done from the start. lottie stands up for shauna. everyone else lets the three of them fight it out. as jackie burns, it's shauna, tai and lottie standing at the alter.
after the cannibalism of jackie - is tai conflicted about not eating van? logically from the waste of meat/resources, or emotionally from the connection it could've brought even after death? given that it was Other Tai who ate jackie and how horrified tai was the morning after, she was probably relieved van was able to be laid to rest without any more guilt or suffering
tai sees van participating in the wilderness stuff. bringing birds to lottie and kneeling, sitting in the morning prayer groups. is it guilt over what van would've been doing if she was alive? some secret part of tai admitting that she wants to believe too? van's spirit trying to encourage tai?
a major difference could be who's helping tai with her sleepwalking. maybe no one, and it's a spectre of van out in the woods with Other Tai. maybe it's shauna, who already knows about the problem and offered to stay with tai during the night before. or lottie, who sees Other Tai's connection with the wilderness as something divine. or akilah, who wants to protect her friend and slowly starts to believe there's something more going on out there (setting her up for s3).
a possibility is: in terms of the show, if van died between s1 and 2, and we're keeping the mystery going, maybe it's not clear at first that van has died. in 1996 when they talk in private or tai watches her and looks guilty it's not yet clear why. lottie tries to talk with tai and connect but tai brushes her off, but it's ambiguous as to What they're talking about, maybe just about the wilderness. no one talks about what happened to van because taissa doesn't want to.
in 2021 when tai's marriage is falling apart and she's sleepwalking again and Other Tai pushes her to find van, maybe she still does. she finds the adult van and begs for help. van tries but she thinks tai's not facing the real issue here.
and we eventually realise van is dead. there are hints at it, easier to notice in hindsight. but tai and van go to lottie's retreat and only tai is acknowledged. someone stumbles onto teen tai with van and asks who she's talking to and tai defensively walks off claiming she's just thinking out loud. the loss of the baby is what finally cracks tai's wall of grief and she and lottie attempt to talk as they look for crystal/kristin.
after javi's death, it could be tai who talks with travis. it could also still be van - travis is talking with dead people now too.
for the cave dreams in s3 maybe it's tai who takes van's place. haunted by fire and those who've died. or mari, who's conflicted about whether ben started the fire. and when they're in the classroom because i'm not confined with actor's schedules or payment they're surrounded by those who've died in the wilderness. rachel, laura lee, jackie, van, crystal/kristin, javi. mindlessly sitting and listening to lottie's lecture.
but it's van that tai calls on to help her when she's chosen to kill ben. it's van who suggests connecting with Other Tai and tries to help. (real ghost van? or a figment of tai's grief?)
and after the frog scientists have come and they hope to find rescue - lottie, shauna and tai are staying. why would they go, when what they want is still here?
in the adult timeline, of course tai is haunted by wolves. a wolf took her first love from her.
this would change s3's adult storyline a lot but i wasn't thrilled with tai's story anyway (tawny and lauren were amazing though). tai could be trying to save her marriage and family and career while being very haunted by her dead girlfriend. and van could still have a role - being the embodiment of the connection to the wilderness. or perhaps a more corrupted version after everything (like the laura lee adult lottie sees in s2) giving a voice to Other Tai or to tai's darkest desires as tai still tries to piece her "perfect" life back together. but she could be in new york and take a carriage ride through central park and eat pretzels with van, only she's alone in the carriage.
Summary: An AU in which Hangman is team leader and takes the missile to save Rooster, yet Bradley comes back to save Hangman as well. As he struggles to get himself and his teammate home, Jake is pushed to his limits in more ways than even he anticipated.
Chapter 5 Summary: Jake and Bradley realize it’s not just enemy soldiers they need to worry about in the frozen tundra.
Hours pass during the lethargic and sluggish limp the battered pilots maintain, until the sun seems to reach the highest point in the sky and begin its descent towards the west. Jake knows as he focuses only on the point in front of him that they need to keep moving. The air is getting colder and his body is not only dealing with his injuries but hypothermia as well. His flight suit is singed to pieces, offering very little protection in this chilly wind and though Rooster’s uniform is in much better shape his body hunches as though freezing as well. The issue is that Jake doesn’t feel cold or not like he should walking in a winter wonderland of harsh winds and snow drifts. He can try to chalk it up to the exertion of carrying his wingman and himself for miles but something still doesn’t feel right.
Just another concern for Jake to hide from Bradley.
The other man has enough problems to worry about as it is. His leg looks more and more painful with each step the team makes despite his attempts at staying off it. Rooster has passed the point of wincing with each movement, adapting to alternating moans, groans, and whimpers that make Jake want to hit something for reducing Bradley freaking Bradshaw to this quivering mess. There’s nothing to hit besides tree trunks though so the blonde pilot opts to just shoulder more weight, his ribs screaming in protests and his lungs closing up more. He shouldn’t be able to do this much walking, should be in a hospital bed on the carrier or back at North Island but well, life has never been fair to Jake Seresin and it’s not about to start. He is a master at compartmentalizing though so the pain and the hurt get locked away, the key forgotten. The only thing Jake cares about is getting Bradley out of here.
A noise behind them startles the two; Jake jumping more than he would normally allow himself but he doesn’t have to be too mortified as Bradley is just as distressed. The noise sounds again and Hangman knows it’s some kind of wildlife, big too if the snap of twigs is any indication. The last thing the two Americans need is some sort of ‘The Revenant’ level bear fight so he moves to get Bradley’s attention back on task, “Come on” he urges.
“But-“ another branch is broken, closer now. “What the hell was that?” Rooster whisper shouts as he shifts to look behind them, taking Jake’s momentum with them. It’s only through sheer force of will that the blonde keeps them standing. “Did you hear that?” Bradley’s face is paling.
“It’s nothing, we need to keep going.”
“It didn’t sound like nothing” the brunette is stubbornly planting his feet, halting any more movement from the duo, “maybe it’s soldiers-“
Jake shakes his head, “It’s not soldiers.”
“How do you know?”
Hangman sighs, mustering up some annoyance for his tone in order to badger Bradley enough to let them keep going, “because soldiers don’t sound like that. That was an animal or something.”
“An animal?” if Bradley’s voice cracks at the end Jake is too tired to tease him on it. Instead he gives another long suffering sigh, “yes Bradshaw, this is the wilderness we’re stuck in-“
“What kind of animals are out here?”
Jake’s no expert but he’s fairly certain he hears a growl from somewhere to their left. The words ‘sitting ducks’ flash in his mind and he suddenly wishes that they were facing another helicopter instead of whatever grizzled beast is stalking their shadow. He’s never been shot before but Jake is fairly certain a bullet will kill him a lot faster and a lot less painfully than being shredded by some carnivore’s teeth. He all but pulls Bradley back in the right direction, “we need to keep moving-“ he pleads but another growl cuts the sound from his throat.
Rooster hears this one, his face turning as white as the snow around him as he turns in the direction of the sound. “What is that?”
“Probably a wolf, maybe a Siberian tiger” Jake tugs again, but Bradley is as solid as a brick shit house when he wants to be and he’s not moving. “Bradshaw we need to move-“
“S-Siberian tiger?”
Jake is reminded that though he was born in Pennsylvania, Bradley grew up in sunny California for most of his life. The only wildlife the brunette has probably ever seen was at zoos or exhibits. Jake himself has seen a few small coyotes from his days in rural Texas but the most dangerous animals he’s ever faced are snakes which feel quite inadequate in the face of a looming predator.
A howl snaps Jake’s mind back to their predicament, the answer to the question of what is waiting for them in the trees finally solved as a wolf stalks out in the clearing. It’s a beautiful creature, all things considering; its fur thick and tufted of meshed grey’s and white’s. Its snout is pointed a bit in the air, sniffing the humans’ trail right to the end, and Jake isn’t sure if he’s imagined the slight upturn of its mouth as the wolf recognizes that it just found its next food source.
Rooster is trembling next to him, the words shocked out of him as he pants in clear distress. Jake’s arm slowly untangles from under the brunette and he steps away, leaving Bradley balancing on his own. The sound of whimpered alarm escapes from his wingman before Jake turns back, surprise coloring his features. Rooster meets his gaze with a glare of grim acceptance before the older man motions for the blonde to head away. It dawns on Jake then what his partner thinks he was trying to do and he would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt. Bradley is clearly expecting Hangman to bolt, to leave him to the wolf and save only himself. Jake shouldn’t be surprised, he’s earned his nickname many times over, but it still stings.
But Jake isn’t Hangman, or at least not that Hangman today and he moves not to leave Rooster, but to stand in between the brunette and the wolf. There is a moment of Bradley’s stunned expulsion of air that feels like vindication to Jake but it doesn’t last long as the wolf strikes.
The wolf lunges giving Jake all of two seconds to take one more step away from his fellow pilot and get his hands back up to brace. The collision from the powerful beast into the blonde’s battered body sends him immediately to the ground and his head connects sharply enough for him to see black dots in his vision. Jake’s adrenaline is the only thing that keeps him conscious as pain erupts all over, the wolf’s paws landing on his chest with a force of a freight train. The animal’s teeth are dangerous close to his face, drool spilling all over the blonde as he struggles to hold his arms up as some sort of blocker. The move earns him a wolf bite to his right forearm, the wolf clamping down and breaking the skin with what feels like knifes. Jake screams, loudly, not even registering that he’s broadcasting his position to enemy troops or other animals, though he would gladly take the soldiers if they get him the hell out of the razor sharp hold on his arm. He feels blood begin to drip as the wolf shakes his limb in its grasp, his bones getting precariously close to snapping. His mind is becoming overwhelmed with the sensations, shutting down as this wolf leans closer to take its prize. All Jake can hope for is that it ends quickly and that Bradley has used his sacrifice to crawl to safety. His leg might be broken but imminent danger is a powerful thing and the brunette is resourceful when he wants to be. Hangman imagines the big man huddled up in a tree and it brings a smile to his face, out of place as a mixture of wolf saliva and his own blood ooze down on his hair and forehead. The wolf’s teeth have dropped his arm and moved to devour the entrée, Jake’s face. The blonde closes his eyes.
A high pitch whimper comes from over him and suddenly the weight pummeling him into the snow is lifted as the wolf bolts. Jake opens his eyes to see Bradley waving a thick branch above him as he yells but the words are so muffled to the blonde’s ears, he can’t make it out. Rooster stands tall above him, making Jake feel small and insignificant. He assumes the wolf has run away when Bradley drops the weapon he had been brandishing (though still keeping it close) and all but falls next to Jake in the snow. His hands immediately hover, almost as though afraid to touch, his eyes comically wide. “S-Seresin” Bradley murmurs, sniffing back a sob of what sounds suspiciously of barely concealed anguish, “Oh God Seresin.”
Jake is still laying face up in the snow, his bitten and bleeding arm falling onto his battered chest as his lips tremble with the exertion of just trying to get oxygen in let alone speak any words. He can’t fathom what to even say if he could. His muscles are tense yet pliant, the fight or flight instinct slowly seeping away and leaving him in a stuttered state of unsure being. Everything hurts but yet almost from a distance, as though Jake’s body is ready to just let go at just the barest hint. The blonde is ready to embrace it, to shut it all down and just welcome the inevitable until he feels Bradley sob again next to him. “Seresin- Jake- shit you’re okay, it’s okay” the older pilot sounds like he is pleading but he takes trembling fingers to his injured teammate’s face, “stay- stay with me” he sniffles.
“I-I’m here” Jake offers up his left arm in a staggering effort and is pleased when the brunette grips his good arm as though it were a lifeline. “The wolf?” he questioned, scared that in this time of respite the wolf will be back with reinforcements.
“I think I scared it off” Bradley takes a wide look around them, his shoulders hitched as his hand not still clutching Jake moves to reach for the branch once more, “I don’t see anything” he informs.
“Smart to use…” Jake’s breathing is labored as he struggles to speak, “the branch” he finishes, finding his teammate’s brown eyes falling back to his injured body.
“Smarter than your plan” Bradley offers back, though there is no malice behind his words, just devastating concern. It hits Jake just as hard, “what were you thinking?” Bradshaw questions.
The blonde would shrug if he were able but his body just stays prone, “I… wasn’t-“he admits.
The scoff Rooster gives back sounds strangely fond, “well that’s obvious. Taking on a wolf like that, you really are going to lead me to an early grave Seresin.”
Jake’s face blanches at his teammates voice, remembering the time in the Hard Deck a few weeks ago that feels like a former lifetime but still stings. Of course Bradley is right, his actions were reckless and instead of saving Rooster he actually put him in more danger by forcing the brunette to come and save him. Feeling once more like the failure he always ends up being Jake closes his eyes and turns his face away, “I didn’t mean to” he muffles out, “you should have left me.”
“Hey” Bradley is gripping his chin, forcing Jake’s green eyes back to meet his gaze, “I meant because you gave me a goddamn heart attack you moron” he chides gently, his own eyes wet with unshed tears, “you are the biggest pain in my ass Seresin but you don’t get to die on me, not like that. I need you out here okay? So no more playing hero with wolves or tigers or anyone. We are getting out of here together, understood?”
“I don’t want to kill you too” he whispers back.
Bradshaw’s face shifts and for an agonizingly long second it looks like he might just start to bawl before he manages the saddest smile Jake has ever seen. The older man bites on his bottom lip, “I’d be dead without you buddy, okay? Don’t think I forgot that.”
“I’d be dead without you.”
“Crazy what teamwork does, doesn’t it?” Bradley teases, his hand landing gently on top of Jake’s heart. “We can get out of this Jake, we can” he reiterates when he sees a look of disbelief from his wingman, “if we work together okay? Like we used to.”
“I don’t think I can do it” the blonde admits weakly, motioning to his prone and bruised body.
“Well we are going to take a little rest first okay?” Bradley moves closer, “and then when we get some of your energy back we can start moving again.”
“But the wolf-“
“Don’t worry about that” the other man urges softly, “you just rest and think about what you will do when we get back to the carrier.”
Jake closes his eyes and thinks of how wonderful a warm bed would feel under him. Normally the blonde hates being confined in the medical wing but right now he would do anything to be under the careful ministrations of the nurses and doctors on the carrier’s medical staff. A grumble from the stomach of the man next to him informs Jake of what Rooster is thinking about and he can’t help the weak laugh that tumbles out of him, “thinking about lunch Br-Bradshaw?” he mocks.
“Thinking about a platter of wings from the Hard Deck” Bradley admits not even phased by Jake’s chiding.
The blonde nods, “and a pitcher of beer.”
“Playing the piano-“
“Demolishing everyone at darts and pool-“
Rooster rolls his eyes but doesn’t argue, “Penny letting us close out the place-“
“Maverick covering our first round-“
Bradley snorts, “you saved my life Seresin, I’m pretty sure Mav is covering more than just your first round.”
“We completed a suicide mission Bradshaw; we better get all our drinks covered for the rest of our lives.”
“Damn straight” Rooster’s voice carries the teasing southern drawl of Texas, mocking Hangman’s tone and inflection from his statement that first day of mission briefing with Captain Mitchell when he held up the F-18 manual. The sound brings a smile to Jake’s lips as he lifts a weak hand to knock Bradley’s wrist two times fondly, “damn straight” he agrees.
The jovial exchange tampers down, leaving the two in a not quite uncomfortable silence. Rooster’s eyes are still watching their surroundings, his hand still a presence on the blonde’s chest. The feeling is warm on his hypothermic body and it forces Hangman to lower his defenses. “I want to go home” Jake whispers, and the embarrassment he expects isn’t there, or he’s just too broken to notice it anymore. Tears start to fall from his eyes, sliding down his temple and mixing with the disgusting concoction of liquid on his face. He sniffles treacherously, his mouth contorting in grief over his predicament, “I really want to go home.”
“I’ll get you home.” It’s a hard promise, especially from a man with only one functioning leg but Bradley seems determinedly steadfast and Jake knows how stubborn the Bradshaw man can be. He nods, wincing at the effort and then whimpering as his body starts to recognize how cold he is still laying completely flushed in the snow. Rooster picks up on it of course and moves to be right next to the blonde, cautiously helping the man to sit up while being mindful of all the injuries. His arm seems to have stopped bleeding, the snow doing the trick but leaving the glaring evidence of the wolf’s sharp grasp in the penetrated holes in his forearm. They are vicious wounds, stark and ugly on his once unblemished skin. Jake wants to cry more at the sight but any hope of vanity has been all but demolished at this point. The blonde doesn’t disguise his pitiful sniffle though.
Bradley looks up and manages a tiny grimace as he tucks Jake’s shredded arm carefully into the younger man’s chest. Rooster bundles the smaller man up with a gentleness that should seem foreign for the big man but instead is surprisingly instinctual. “Here we go” the brunette muses, taking Jake’s shivering form carefully and cuddling him into his own body. Just the tiniest stroke of comfort feels amazing to the touch starved blonde pilot and Jake can’t stop the whimpered sob that escapes his mouth as Bradley pulls him just that little bit closer until Hangman is cradled under the crook of Rooster’s neck. In any other situation Jake would be mortified at himself and at his partner for this cuddle session but now he just feels safe, a sensation that’s been absent from his life for as long as he can remember. He allows himself to bury his face more into Bradley’s chest, enjoying being held.
Rooster shaking hands find purchase as he wipes at the blonde’s face to clear it of its prior mess but with a feather light touch that shows he is still being cautious of the burns on Jake’s skin.
When the man is finished Jake expects Bradley to lower his hand but instead the other man moves to carefully card through Jake’s tussled blonde hair, the motions reassuring and lulling the injured man into an almost sleep like state. “It’s okay” Bradshaw sounds like he is crying but Jake is too tired to look up and see for sure, “you’re okay,” the older man continues as though he is willing his words into reality, “you’re going to be okay.”
Jake knows he should be Hangman again, should push Rooster’s hands away with a sneer and an eye roll but everything seems so exhausting. Instead of getting them back up and trying to get home, the younger pilot forgets his promises to Maverick and himself and just lets himself snuggle into the warmth of his teammate’s chest. The respite from the wind and the cold feels so good to Jake right now and he feels his eye lids start to droop. The last thing he hears is Bradley’s continuing mantra of comfort, telling Jake how he ‘is okay’, and ‘it’s all going to be alright’, before Hangman falls into sweet oblivion once more.
——————————————————————————
Okay so this is the point where the story kinda jumps the shark (or wolf). I hope you guys are still with me on this. I know it’s a big AU here 🙈
