Clarke tried to hide the devastation that laced her features as she slipped into the commanders chambers. The door softly clicked closed behind, her blue eyes scanned the room. Outside the sun was already half gone for the day, casting the room in slight shadow. Candles were lit scattered about the room, but her eyes didnât really see any of it. She made her way deeper into the room, past the chairs, past the end of Lexaâs fur lined bed, and just as she reached the corner of the bed, there she was.
Clarkes step faltered, she felt the tears momentarily sting the corners of her eyes and she blinked a few times tying to will the emotion that was becoming increasingly more overwhelming to go away. She swallowed hard, tried to force even the smallest smile but it didnât really work.
They stared at each other for a moment, Lexaâs hands falling from her hair where they had just been moments ago. Clarke watched the commander take another few steps closer, her brow slightly furrowed, her eyes dark and stormy just like Clarke felt inside.
âWhen do you leave?â Lexaâs soft voice floated to her ears and Clarke felt her throat constrict slightly. Her lips pressed together momentarily like she didnât really want to say what was coming but she had no choice.
âNow.â She said quietly, her heart was pounding in her chest as she stared across the space at the woman who had somehow managed to push through every defense Clarke had ever had. She watched Lexa swallow but nod her head in understanding, the sentiment alone causing Clarkes stomach to drop sickly.
Hesitantly Clarke walked up closer to her, stopping only about 3 feet from her. She searched her eyes, her face before her mouth moved again.
âIâm sorryâŠâ she whispered.
Lexa being the commander she is shook her head, âDonât be⊠you have to go back theyâre your peopleâŠâ she said.
Her voice had been quiet but unwavering, even when her eyes told a different story. For a moment, her lips wavered lightly and she continued.
âThatâs why I lâŠâ but she didnât finish the sentence, she couldnât.
Clarke looked up at her then, her breath catching completely in her chest. She watched the slight panic, watched Lexaâs lips press together before she said.
âThatâs why youâre youâŠâ
Clarke swallowed but nodded forcing a small smile to her lips even though, in this moment, she felt like she was being torn apart.
âMaybe someday you and I will owe nothing more to our people.â Clarke whispered but she watched something break in Lexaâs face at those words.
She saw her lip tremble, saw the way the words landed, saw the way tears came to her beautiful blue-green eyes making them look even more like the beautiful sea of emotion they were.
âI hope so.â Lexa said softly.
Looking down at Clarkes hand, she slowly held out her own arm to Clarke, fingers shaking just slightly with the amount of control she was forcing herself through right now.
Clarke reached for her, they grasped each others forearms and Lexa swallowed thickly. Sheâs shinning in the low lighting. Clarkes throat tightened, her breath catching just slightly.
âMay we meet again.â Lexaâs voice was soft and sincere and it broke something in Clarke.
Her hand on Lexaâs forearm tightened, her brows knit together and it was in that moment that Clarke realized one thing. Things in this world that sheâd been dropped into were always changing, always violent and never ending and she was leavingâŠ
Clarkeâs eyes searched her face, landing on Lexaâs lips and she took the final few steps between them. Clarkeâs hand came up to lace into Lexaâs hair and she pulled her in and their lips met.
Lexa froze momentarily as their lips met, her eyes fell shut, her left hand came up to brush lightly against Clarkeâs hair hesitant at first but then slowly fell against her neck as their lips pressed together. It wasnât deep, it wasnât needy or desperate⊠it was a single press of lips against lips, and it was so much more than either of them had ever felt before.
They searched each others eyes for only a few moments, the grief and longing between them was too much. Lexaâs bottom lip twitched as she looked into Clarkeâs blue eyes confused and wanting Clarke couldnât take the look on her face, and her own scrunched up just slightly overwhelmed, their noses pressed together and then Clarke kissed her again.
This kiss was more raw, more desperate as they finally collided with each other. Hands gripping each other, lips claiming, breaths mingling and then Clarke felt it. A single tear had fallen from Lexaâs eye, a small breath left her lips against Clarkeâs, not a moan but a shakey breath that said just the same.
Their lips crashed together, each kiss growing in intensity, both women were breathless but unwilling to pull apart from each other. After months of dancing around each other, of burning for one another, of bleeding for each other⊠they had finally found their only true home.
