Feeling Down after Mistake
Yesterday I made myself sick-not on purpose, but regardless, I made myself sick. I had eaten a cookie and I felt okay, so I did the wrong thing and ate two more. I dont know why I did that to myself. I should’ve known better. Today I’m a little down, as a result of that. The negative thoughts started creeping in, phrases like, “How can you be successful at weightloss if you do stupid shit like that?” Or, “You deserved to get sick.” Occasionally, I’ll hear the voice of ED (eating disorder) saying, “I wish you’d thrown up those cookies, you shouldn’t have eaten them. You need to lose more weight. You haven’t lost enough.” In reality, though, I’ve lost 30.7 pounds since October of this year. I’ve done really well. I may have only lost .2 pounds this week, but I lost weight, regardless! I know what an uphill battle weightloss has been for me, so I fucked up once...I’ve learned my lesson. I plan to start working out again this weekend, which should jump start the bigger losses again.
