#wisefriend

‘When we have a problem we tend to focus on the problem alone and forget everything in our surroundings. Why don’t you try to shift your focus and start caring for the people around you? You might get a new perspective’

Panca Satrio Nugroho

I am lucky to be able to stand up after being emotionally beaten a few months ago. During the hardest time, I talked to many people and I remembered some advices they gave me. This one is quite memorable. 

Panca is a friend of mine who is, to me, very wise and humble and at the same time one of the very few religious people who I respect greatly. We don’t talk that frequently but everytime we do, I find myself change the way I look at things slightly. That time, I started to realise that the world is not just about us and our problems. There are many things out there that need our concerns as well. If you are thinking in your mind right now that I am talking about the war in Syria or how we should join the UN to fight poverty, you are almost correct. No, I am not that noble just yet. Look closer.

Maybe one of your friends is not feeling well and no one is taking care of her since she lives away from her family. Maybe your neighbour needs help with changing the light bulb in her house. Maybe your siblings need you to teach them a thing or two about baking. Or maybe, your parents are getting older.

When we are deeply in our thoughts, we forget things are happening outside our heads. When you are busy thinking, thinking, thinking, and drown yourself in the mud of agony, time is also busy ticking. I found that by caring about other people in our lives, we drift away from our problems. No, of course I am not suggesting anyone to avoid their problems at all. Then, what happen to our problems? They start looking for the solutions by themselves. Okay, that’s logically impossible. As I said before, you change the way you look at things. Those problems change their shape, too according to your perspective.

After given that piece of advice, I took a rest from my problem for a little while. I cut off all social media interactions (hey, that works effectively in restoring your mental health), I focused on reorganising my room, I met real people in real environment, and read few books. I came back to the problem about two weeks later and found myself looking at it differently. All of a sudden, I saw it as something that I have to go through in order to grow. We can’t change the past, can we? So instead of forcing myself to find a solution to the problem, I accept it as a part of me. We all grow through pain and despair. One day before we realise, all those miseries we have been through before mold us into what we are today. After all, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, hey?

So friends, if you are currently in a deep shit and you can’t find a way out, let it rest. Do something else; see real people, go home, abandon your smartphone (apparently they are too smart that you have become their fool), go on a road trip, drink coffee, call your parents, take a breath, and let your problems rest for a while. Maybe after few days, you can make friends with them instead. Well, that being said, maybe I should, too. Got to go and make myself a cup of coffee now.

Hope to see a change after a few days!

another guy's opinion is something i value very much.. 

even more when they are someone i look up to,  thnx for hearing me out tonight bro (: