#wireheadbird

You and Lena weren’t that close anyway it was more of an employer and employee type of relationship. Perhaps with a few game nights with her friends here and there but that barely happened. Lena had tried calling you a few times but you let it ring. You watched it ring. What would you say if you picked it up anyway, ‘Hey I’m dying hope you don't mind me missing a few days’. 

For days on end Lena would call every few hours, along with concerned friends of hers. She was surrounded and loved by so many people, what difference would it make if it were one less. 

Nonetheless, Lena rummaged through her employee files till she found yours, scanning through it for your address and writing it down. She’s quick to gather her stuff and speed out the company building to your place with a casserole in hand. Once she arrives she knocks on the door only for it to open, seemingly unlocked, she double checks the sticky note for the apartment number in concern. A-401.

 You were a very cautious person, there's no way you would leave your apartment unlocked. She knocks once more before letting herself in and calling out your name, shutting the door behind her. Looking around at the dark apartment she notices how bottles of different colors and sizes littered the living room.

Her attention instantly spikes when she sees movement out of the corner of her eye, you stand there. Your disheveled figure leaning against the wall lit up by the light from the hallway you just came out from. Just as she was about to step towards you, concern etched on her face, you raise pointing your gun at her shakily with a bottle of something in your other hand. With the pungent scent in the air she could tell it was some sort of alcohol. 

“Woah there y/n, it's me, Lena.” she raises her hand in surrender. “Miss Luthor..?” your voice came out hoarse and shaky. “Yes, that's me” Lena was evidently more anxious now. You slide down the wall dropping your gun and taking a long swig of your beverage. She comes closer and realizes you were sweating and shivering at the same time, she takes the bottle from you and you don’t argue.

She places a hand on your forehead checking for a fever but you swat away her hand, Lena’s face contorts in confusion. “You have no fever…what’s wrong then?” she asks as she helps you up and onto your living room couch, pulling away the now empty bottle. You couldn’t think of a better way to break it to her, not like there was one in the first place. 

“I’m dying.” your voice doesn’t even quiver, making her think you were probably just exaggerating the feeling of being sick and she nervously chuckles “it can’t be that bad”. But it was. It is. “Lena. Look at me” You look into her eyes, “I’m dying Lena…”. You explain how you haven't been feeling well for a while, thinking it was probably from stress or sleep deprivation. But once the pain stopped being mental and became physical you had no option but to visit a doctor to get relief from the pain. Only to be diagnosed with a terminal illness you’ve never heard of. 

Once you finished explaining, Lena seemed completely out of it, her eyes wide and teary. So you reach for another bottle from the coffee table, next thing you know you were pressed back into the couch by a hug from a sobbing Lena. “You’ll be fine. You’ll live. I’ll find the cure myself” ______________________________________________________________

It's been days since Lena last visited. She shot you a few texts a couple times to check in on you, sending you words of encouragement and comfort. You couldn’t find it within you to spare any energy to make yourself any food and didn’t bother ordering takeout either which was out of character for you, you’d usually jump at the chance to order takeout. But you weren’t feeling up to it. And it seemed as if Lena had the same train of thoughts, because the day after she saw you in this state for the first time she sent you pre-prepped meals with delivery guys or sometimes takeout.

‘Hang in tight, I’m working on it.’ - Ms. Luthor 02:13 AM

A pang of guilt strikes through you. You hated how she pulled all-nighters to work on a slim to none chance of your survival. You tried ringing her to call it off and come up with some excuse but only wallowed deeper in your guilt after it went straight to voicemail.  ______________________________________________________________

It’s been almost a week since you last saw or spoke to Lena, she still sent food everyday so you knew she was okay. You however, not so much. You could feel yourself getting weaker, and on the fifth day you fell bed ridden. The delivery guys gave up on ringing the doorbell and just started leaving the food outside the apartment door. Which earned you knocks and complaints from the neighbors from the smell of the molding food. 

But you could no longer move, no longer speak, no longer stay awake to deal with the issue. Your phone seemed so close yet so far away, you couldn’t reach for it from how weak and pathetic you felt. All you did was sleep in an attempt to replenish your energy that way, all you wanted was to sleep. 

‘Hang on y/n…I’m almost there’ Lena thought to herself as she bottled the blue liquid packing a syringe with it, finally making a breakthrough after trapping herself in her lab in search of any sort of cure or treatment. She didn’t want to waste any time looking for her phone and quickly rushed out the company door wanting to get to you as soon as possible.

Once she arrives at the apartment building she’s met with the stinging scent of rotting food, she covers her nose taking out the spare key you gave her only to find out, once again. The door was unlocked.

Lena rushes into the apartment and into your bedroom, relaxing once she spots your body huddled up in between blankets and pillows. She slowly made her way to the bedside table turning on the lamp. “y/n?” she whispered as to not startle her. “I did it y/n I found the cure” Lena whispered, her eyes tearing up as she smiled excitedly. 

She waits for a response from you, her heart beating out of her chest in anticipation. Her brows furrow in concern, “y/n..?” she hesitantly reaches her hand out shaking you awake. Your body which was facing the wall, now laid on its back and your hand fell limp off of the side of the bed. 

Pale. Blue lips. A shaky hand reaches to check your neck for a pulse, her eyes widen and she flinches at the cold touch of your once warm skin. She stumbled backwards, losing her footing and falling to the floor into choked sobs. 

She was supposed to save you. You were supposed to live. You were supposed to make it. If only she had been earlier…perhaps you would’ve lived to thank her. 

But she was late…and you, gone too soon.

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He leaves the room wanting to make you something special, perhaps a classic breakfast. When he started cooking the pancakes and eggs, a warm aroma filled the house. He brewed a coffee just the way you like it and placed it on the tray with the food and utensils, placing it on the nightstand next to your side of the bed. “What’s this?” you perk up forgetting about your sleep the moment you smell the food “I made you breakfast” he smiles at you warmly. “This looks amazing..thank you Eli” you were unable to contain your excitement as you dug into the delicious meal. He looked at you feeling a warm glow in his chest, a deep sense of happiness and love overcame him. 

You looked down at yourself in confusion “when did I–” “oh I put you in a new set of clothes so you don't get sick, its been getting really cold recently” he picked up the warm cup of coffee putting it to your lips helping you drink it. “How are you feeling?” he smiled at you not losing eye contact “never been better” you replied taking another bite. “If you’re still feeling sore we could stay in bed and cuddle all day” he took away the tray after you finished your meal and you couldn’t help but smile. “Who would’ve known the one and only Elijah Mikaelson can be this sweet” you joked “Sweet, hm?” he leaned forward giving you a kiss, “come here” he laid back down in his previous spot with his chin on your head. You spent the rest of the day talking about the old memories of when you two first met and silly encounters you’ve had ever since. 

You were glad he chose to spend today with you, he made you feel safe and you weren’t as worried and scared as you were the night before.

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Help- I'm so bad at writing fluff but here's my attempt i hope i didn't ruin the image you had in your head for this fic anon

Looking up at the sky I realized the sun was about to set which was my sign to go back home. I was just a few blocks away when I recognized someone crossing the not so busy streets, she had headphones on with her hair fluffed up and a pair of ripped jeans with a brown shirt.

I quickly averted my gaze when I realized it was Hiba, hoping she wouldn't notice me. But in doing so I accidentally made eye contact with a group of teenage boys who were for some strange reason already looking at me. 

I swore under my breath keeping my gaze on the floor and rushed past the boys, which resulted in me bumping straight into someone’s back. “Watch where yo-” the voice paused, “oh, it’s you” Hiba snorted mockingly, turning to me. Her smirk was quickly wiped off of her face when she saw the scared expression on my face, before she could say anything a whistle sounded from behind me.

We both turned to look at where the sound was coming from, and spot the four creepy looking boys approaching us. I instinctively grabbed her hand in fear, which she squeezed in return but not taking her glaring eyes from their smirking faces. “Hey there you two, need a good fuck?” the one in a hoodie, which seemed to be the ‘leader’, taunted “We could share you know”. This caused the others to burst into laughter. A rotten smell coming from them. 

Weed

“Lets just go, please” I pull her back whispering into her ear. She turns deeming the boys not worth it and I followed along not looking back but letting go of her hand. “Oh come on,” one of the other boys whined while reaching out to grab me “It’s very obvious you don’t have an issue slutting around” I feel his disgusting eyes lingering on my neck.

A click is heard from behind me and I freeze, I could see a glint of fear flashing on their face. I looked at her and instantly recognized the small yet vital weapon she held in her hands. The same weapon that killed her. “Aw think we’ll be scared of your toy gun?” another round of laughter rings through the empty streets. 

She points her gun upwards and pulls the trigger making me almost jump out of my skin. Hiba gives me a look of…concern, but doesn’t hesitate to point it back towards the boys who make a cowardly run for it. I watch them carefully from a distance until I feel a hand turn my face to the side from my chin, a pair of worried eyes made contact with mine. Her hands tug mine down away from my ears and wipes my tears. “Let’s get you home, hm?”. 

I glance at her pocket where the, now obvious, pistol pokes out. She notices me looking and I guess she felt my fear. “It’s a toy” she takes it out and shows that the bullets are red paint-balls. “Makes them cower like puppies” she grins then helps me up.

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Once the new school year started I had trouble looking at the halls, the classrooms, the field without recalling the memories we had together with our friends. Of course it was the same at home but it was easier to avoid since I either stayed on the rooftop or trapped myself in my room the entire summer. Now, I had to deal with all the flashbacks crashing down on me at the same time. I no longer sat in my usual spot next to my sister’s desk trying as much as possible not to provoke any memories I shoved far away. So instead I took a random seat on the complete opposite side we sat in last year, which happened to be at the back of the class in a corner.

Miss Abeer, our homeroom teacher, made her way inside the class making everyone scatter to their seats. The lesson went on and I could practically feel Miss Abeer’s sympathetic looks digging into my skin, the students started realizing it too as they started looking towards me every once in a while in confusion. “Miss.” my voice rang out in the room, she looked at me with such sympathy. I’ve had enough. “Yes y/n?” she sighed “May I use the restroom, please?” I had already clutched onto my bag and made my way to the door not awaiting a response. I know she wouldn’t dare report it, afraid the previous year’s events will happen once again. 

I’ve been out of the spotlight for so long that I get nervous if too many people are watching me, watching every breath I take, every move I make. I never could handle pressure...and Layan knows– knew that. She always helped me, distracted me, but now she’s not here anymore. Left me to fend for myself. 

Before I knew it I was inside a bathroom stall reaching into my bag for a pack of cigarettes I stole from Hazem. Breathing in the smoke, I hold it in for a bit feeling it burn and pollute my lungs, I close my eyes and breathe out. Allowing my memory to drift back to the last time I saw her. Full of life, smiling so wide…she was always happier when she went out with Laith, anything to get away from home.

“We’re going to have SOOO much fun! And then when I’m back I’ll make it up to you I promise. We’ll play ludo and watch your favorite show, okay?” she grinned so wide I couldn’t say no to her “Alright alright fine. BUT, you need to promise to bring me my favorite candy on your way back” I folded my arms pretending to be serious. “Deal!” We giggled together at the back of the bus till it came to a stop. “ok , our time to shine~” she did a little dance in her seat and looked at Rania nodding her head as a signal. Rania nodded back to say she understood, she began the process of creating a distraction as Layan slipped out of the bus. She gave me one last look over her shoulder smiling, I waved to her and she waved back then the bus moved forward as she sped off.

BAAM

My eyes shoot open and I jolt off of the floor where I was sitting, accidentally grazing the cigarette-butt on my neck making me hiss in pain. I throw the cigarette in the toilet and flush it quickly, spraying perfume on myself and shoving everything to a hidden compartment I had made in my bag. When I open the door I see one of the girls from my class standing there, the one who slammed her fist on the door so hard I could’ve sworn it was a gunshot. She was really tall and had soft curls resting on her head. She snickers tauntingly at me then leaves out the door. 

When I made my way out the bathroom it was the end of the day, so I had gone off to find the bus that I’ve been coming to school with the past few days, or weeks, I couldn’t tell. 

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In my room, it was quiet. I’ve been lying awake for hours in the dark. Sleep has always been my enemy. Layan had to tire me out completely just so I could get a few hours in. And even then it didn’t always work so I had to take pills for it and she’d always stay by my side till I slept and just talk about anything and everything. What an amazing older sister she was. I haven’t touched them since. Feeling as though I needed to be punished in any way possible, not allowing myself to sleep being one of the few ways. And the easiest, because others got pretty…messy and difficult to clean sometimes. 

I hadn’t felt like eating dinner once again either. Feeling as though I didn’t deserve to eat. 

Not when Layan can’t eat. 

Not when Layan can’t sleep. 

Not when Layan can’t be happy.

Not when it was all because of me.

Not when I didn’t stop her from walking right into her death.

Not when I was the one who convinced her to get with Laith.

Layan deserved to be happy, she deserved the world. And yet…I couldn’t give her anything but misery and pain. 

“I miss you so much Layan…so much” a sob broke out of me, for the whole night. That's how I spent most of my nights.

Wishing for my older sister to return

next chapter

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Ever since then she hasn’t left me alone as she repeatedly stopped me in halls, classes, locker rooms, restrooms, everywhere. She was everywhere taunting me just because she found it entertaining to do so. “What’s wrong, loner? Don’t have any friends? Aww no one wants to be around you, I can see why.” she would say. And because I never responded she’d eventually get bored and leave only to return the next day.

It was finally the first weekend. I was in my room when I got a text from a number I hadn’t seen pop up in a while, that read ‘It would be great to have you there y/n’ Rania then sent a location along with another attached message, ‘A memorial for Layan’. My finger hovered over the notification until I pressed it. She also sent the time and picture of the entrance. ‘It’s tonight’ she typed, I didn’t reply not wanting to promise anything. 

I put together an outfit carelessly, a sweater and jeans with sneakers. Then checked the time to see how long I had left but not before poking my head out the door listening to see if anyone other than me was home, thankfully I was alone, and I had about an hour to spare so I decided to have a walk around the area, locking my room so they’d think I’m sleeping. 

Once I arrived I was surprised and overwhelmed by how many people were going into the room the memorial was being held in, I contemplated on whether I should go in or just leave and go back home. They’d understand, right? But it didn’t feel right… So instead I decided to watch from outside of the building, the room had lots of windows so it wasn’t hard. For once I was grateful for how dark it was outside because whoever was inside couldn’t see me. More people were flooding in and so did the memories. Eventually Rania came in with Noaf and….Miss Abeer? Shit.

But that wasn’t all, when Rania sang a song in honor of Layan, she nodded towards someone at the entrance to come and sit with a smile. When I shifted my eyes in curiosity as to who came in when everyone was here… “no..” I whispered to myself. ‘How dare she show her face here?’ I thought to myself. To say I was enraged would be an understatement, tears welled up in my eyes in frustration once they comforted her as she cried. I felt betrayed. Everyone knows she’s the reason Layan was caught. If she had just minded her own business, I would still have my older sister. But instead she’s here…crying!? When she clearly has no right to.

I waited until everyone started to leave, leaving only Noaf, Dina, Rania, Ruqqaya, and Mariam catching up sitting in a circle, before slowly walking inside the room tear stains evident on my face. “y/n?” Noaf sprinted towards me for a hug which led the others to come forward as well. However, my eyes didn’t leave Mariam’s face where she awkwardly stood avoiding my gaze which eventually the others realized and let go making the tension in the room grow more intense. “I think…it’s best I leave. My mom is waiting for me” I felt too betrayed to move as I watched her leave.

“Are you guys serious? You invited HER?” My voice cracked while I stared at them in disbelief “she feels remorse, it wa-” Dina attempted to defend her “SHE’S A KILLER FOR FUCKS SAKE!” I take a step towards her with my eyes still wide in shock about the fact that they continuously defended her. “Hey. It wasn’t her fault. She was defending herself from your bullshit. If anything it’s definitely your brother’s fault he killed her for “honor” what kind of family does that? You all are SICK.” Noaf walked out after that with Dina following behind calling her name, neither sparing anyone a glance. 

I turned towards the other two who stepped closer to me in an attempt of comfort but I just stepped back and looked at them, “Is that what you think as well..?” “y/n of course not, I get where you’re coming from, but what’s done is done and throwing the blame around over something that fate had decided is no use.” Ruqqaya pulled me in for a hug, which Rania eventually joined, and my head instantly slumped on her shoulder allowing the tears of grief to fall. No matter how much I cried it never seemed like enough. Never seemed like the grief would end. “I miss her so much” my voice broke into a sob “we miss her too y/n, we miss her too” Rania sniffled patting my back gently. 

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I lost track of time and arrived back home when it was close to midnight, carefully making my way up the stairs knowing that there’s a high chance my parents or brothers are back home. “Where were you?” Saleh, the second eldest, sternly asked, but before I could even think of an answer he pulled me towards him roughly by my hair while he stared intensely at my neck. He gave me a look of pure disgust and hatred, then striking my face which automatically made me yelp in shock and pain. ‘The cigarette burn! I’ve hidden it pretty well for a while I’m sure of it. Must’ve smudged and wore off leaving the angry irritated wound to stand out’ 

“What’s going on? Saleh what happened why’d you hit her??” my mom tried to pry off his hands from my hair but he only tugged harder making my face scrunch up in pain. My eyes were so dry from all the crying today I had no strength to cry anymore. “Your second mistake of a daughter is following into her older sister’s shoes.” He angrily points at the burn, it took me a while to understand what was going through his mind and when I did I tried to clear things up. “No wait you don’t understand! I swear it’s not what you think, I got burnt doing my hair I swear it” I attempted to defend but he didn’t seem to believe me, and neither did my mother with the evident look of sadness and disappointment showing up in her eyes. 

“I say we punish her so she doesn’t turn into her slutty sister. Who died in shame.” He spat, “How could you say such a thing about Layan you stupid son of a-” I attempt to repeat his actions back at him but before I lift my arm to swing it he doesn’t hesitate to smash my head against the railing causing my mom to scream at him to stop but I just feel the tugging at my hair get more intense till he throws me into the shared bathroom and locking me in. My vision was blurry and I could feel some sort of liquid trickling down my head, I reached for it and saw that it was my own blood. Suddenly the lights flickered then went off. This. THIS threw me off. They know I hate being trapped in dark tight spaces. 

“I don’t want to hear a single sound from you. UNDERSTOOD?” my father shoved his pointed finger in my tear stained face. Yelling at seven-year-old me for making a fuss about not eating my food, which I didn’t like because I hated vegetables. When I didn’t respond and just continued crying he put me in his closet and locked it with his key causing me to only scream louder and hit the closet door in an attempt to get out. After a while Layan, who was 8, would always unlock the closet with a screwdriver and get me out. As a way to comfort me we’d play Ludo or other boardgames while we hid from our dad and brothers under the bed. Yes it was tight and dark but she was there with me…protecting me.

next chapter

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