I love to write things, but I'm never creative enough to do so. I've always, always loved prompts--I can work from an idea, but I can't generate the ideas themselves. That's why I love love love this set of questions.
2. Do you believe history repeats itself?
I think (and I can't believe I'm quoting Marx here...) that the whole "History repeats itself: the first time as tragedy, the second as farce" idea makes a lot of sense. I mean, we, as people, don't always learn from our mistakes right away--it usually takes two or three of the same screw ups to realize that we've, well, screwed up, and only because by those second and third times no one feels sorry for you because you "should have learned your lesson by now". I think if you look at "mankind" holistically and reduce it down to the the life of mankind being analogous to the life of a single man, well, then it's only natural.
3. If you could see just one thing in your future, what would you look at.
This is gonna sound kinda weird, but I think I'd look at what city I'm in, and perhaps at most the neighbourhood, too. I think if I looked to see how much money I made, or where I worked, or my wife, or even whether I had kids, I'd spend all my time constantly worrying whether I'm on the right track. I wouldn't take jobs that I'd think would lead me away from the one I had in the future, I would shoot down any relationships that weren't with that person I saw in the future. I wouldn't live my life, I'd be living with blinkers on, focussed completely on only pursuing what I thought would lead me to what I saw in the future.
I've been discussing a lot about prophecies in school lately for a class I'm taking (or rather, just finished taking) on Ancient Greek tragedies, and it always seemed to me that the characters who discover their fate through an oracle or a prophecy always resign themselves to it. The find out how they're going to die, say, and then they willingly walk right into the room where they know they are about to get murdered. I think if I saw future in this same way, I'd be tempted to do the same, and I don't know that I'd want that pressure of having to commit to a goal and in the process miss an incredibly opportunity. Seeing the city I live in would be a way to find out if I'm on track, if I ever do feel comfortable enough to move away from here (or at this point, just move out in general...) without knowing too much of the specifics.
10. How do you try to live your life?
At this point, I could be really fake and say "With integrity," or "Passionately," or even "Open to ever opportunity that comes my way," but in reality, none of those are really me. I do live my life honestly, though, which sounds either very thoughtful, or very pretentious and corny, but let me explain. I can't not be myself. You know in high school, where so many people try to be something they're not, even just for a little bit? Yeah, I couldn't ever do that. Not because it's against my "moral integrity" or anything like that, but because I physically can't. I don't like to pretend. I seriously can't pretend. As a genuinely shy, nervous, overly-polite, people-pleasing person, I'm also surprisingly overly away of normal social cues. That being said, even if I know how to "act cool", I was still always teased, mocked, and pushed around because I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I got bullied, a lot, because I refused to act, just to act, like all these asshole kids around me. (It's not necessarily any better in university, by the way, it's just easier to avoid those situations altogether.) I'm not saying this looking for pity--Like I said, I can't not be me. If I wanted to, I could try to fit in, but I don't think, in the long run, that that's worth it.
That being said, tumblr seems like a weird place for someone who claims to "Try to live his life as himself." I'd like to address that, actually, if anyone cares to listen. I post a lot of beautiful nature scenes: mountains, rivers, deep forests miles and miles from cell reception. I love these ideas, I think they're beautiful, and I would love to see them all. As a personal choice, though, for example, I try to avoid reblogging pictures of camping, or tents, because in all honesty, I'm not really much of a camper, and never have been. I haven't actually been in a tent for some seven/eight/nine-odd years. It's stupid and silly and such a minor thing that none of my followers I guarantee ever notice, but for me to do that would be disingenuous.
At this point I'm pretty hungry and really want to eat breakfast cause I've been thinking on these questions for quite some time, so I'll leave this one at this and finish up, but if anyone is actually curious about this more or wants to challenge me on it (though I don't know why?), you know where my ask is.
27. Where or when is your "happy place"?
If you find out, can you let me know? Seriously, I'm not quite sure at this point. There a very fleeting, rare instances when I'm home alone playing guitar or really engrossed in a book (not that I've been doing too too much ready lately...) that I think I would consider my "happy place." You know how you can get the shivers listening to a really good song? Well, for all you non-musicians out there, it actually is possible to have that feeling yourself when you play music, every once in a blue moon. But just like when you listened to a beautiful song, it only last for a brief half a second. But those half-seconds are, in all honesty, why I keep doing it, because they are seriously one of the greatest feelings in the world.
Same with a good, a really good, book. You know when you get so into one that you construct the whole scene in your head? Especially when it's a real place that you already desperately want to see? Yeah, when you can take yourself out of the real world and, even if for a minute, let your mind wander to the places in the look, then yeah, that gives me almost the same feeling. Almost.
