#wilder368

A 25 year-old man name Les is looking for a place to live. Going through the want ads, he found one.  The ad mentions someone looking for a roommate.  He check out and to find out it is a female around his age name Jackie, in desperate need for a roommate for her two-bedroom apartment.  Her old roommate moved out after getting married and she is looking for a replacement.  Either she gets one or she has to move out, because she cannot afford the rent on her own. Jackie being a free-spirited woman does not mind sharing an apartment with a male, even though the both of them are compatible.  First Les refused, but coming to terms like respecting each other space and property, not sexually enticing the other and most importantly, having the money for the rent and bills on time.  They agreed to those simple terms and besides, this is what Les can only afford.

Three days after moving in, Les is busy in the bathroom using the toilet while on his cell phone reading, “I guess I made the right decision moving in with Jackie, not bad, not bad at all.  No stockings hanging around the bathroom, she leaves the bathroom orderly and not once has she ever complained about me leaving the toilet seat up, something my brother would go through with his wife constantly.”  The door opens with Jackie entering to a stunned and embarrassed Les, he is keeping his cool and she greets him, “Hi Les!”  While going to the medicine cabinet above the sink to get her jar of hair grease.  At the same time, Les is checking what he is sitting on then asking, “Jackie, you didn’t happen to noticed me sitting here using the toilet?”    She replies, “Oh, you’re cleansing out.”  Les replies, “Yes, is that what you prefer calling it and usually I prefer doing it alone with the door close!”  Jackie responds, “You don’t have to be embarrassed or ashamed Les, beside what you doing is a humanly natural thing and it is very healthy, everyone does it!  You can enter while I am on toilet using, I don’t mind, and Danielle never used to mind when I entered on her using on the toilet (walking to the bathroom entrance) and we would talk, but my advice Les is to make sure you lock the door.”  She exits the bathroom while closing the door then reopening asking, “Les, if it’s possible you can pretend to be gay for me please, I have a male date coming over to take me out for a dinner and a movie tonight and I’m afraid he would not understand our living arrangement.”  Les is stunned while she continues, “If you do it for me, I’ll appreciate it. Thanks!”  She closes the door with Les still on the toilet speechless.

A police detective name Kurt enters the 31st Avenue subway restroom to use. At the last urinal before the two low partition toilet stalls with no door in front of for privacy urinating, a dude is sitting in the first stall, with his pants down to his ankles, he is checking Kurt out on the low, stooping up trying to get a glimpse of Kurt’s privates.  As Kurt looks his direction, the dude swiftly sits back down on the pot acting innocent.  Kurt seething, “Really fucking unbelievable, bathroom pervert trying to make a pass at me, why don’t I play his game.”  Kurt finishes at the urinal flushing, he goes over to the basin to rinse his hands and afterward he goes to stand near in front the other dude’s booth.  The dude notice Kurt back, moves his trousers down a little, spreads his leg wider, removing his penis out the bowl, while licking his lips and inviting Kurt over.  Kurt goes over to him removing his police identification and badge.  The dude is shock and nervously tries to talk himself out this situation, plus accusing Kurt of entrapment.

Later Kurt is escorting the dude (handcuffed behind his back) out the restroom saying to him, “the reason for that bathroom being open Frank is for pissing and or taking a dump.  I can see if you were on the bowl making as if you are taking a dump, but when you began taking your dick out the bowl flirting, that really took the cake pal. Well since you into flirting with other guys while on are the can Frank, allow me to take you to a place where you can freely do so.”  Frank is embarrassed and thinking of a way out of this and how is he going to explain it to his family and his job.

 By Wilder Brounson

At home, 13-year-old Marcus is near the living room outside looking in spying on his 16-year-old brother Doug and his new girlfriend, Tracy courting. They are on the sofa beside each other cuddling and he is attempting to get a tongue kiss from her, with Tracy feeling that is not the right place for it.  Doug being persistent, “Come on, let’s do this.” She tells him, “No, suppose your mom or someone walks in and catches us.” At the same time, Marcus is puckering his lip teasingly imitating Doug and as Tracy is about to consider, she notice Marcus standing in the doorway spying, she rises from the sofa saying, “Oh no, I think I better be going.” Doug wondering asking, “What’s wrong?” Tracy replies, “Your brother, he is spying on us (Doug fuming). Besides, it’s time for me to go anyway. Another time maybe.” Doug is sneering at Marcus in disgust along with convincing her to stay and she tells him while smiling, “I did say maybe another time! Calm down! ” Tracy is leaving through the front entrance of the apartment as she walks downstairs and out the building entrance, with Doug sadly watching her and he enters the apartment and notice Marcus still there, he angrily tells him, “Are you happy, see what you done. I going to kick your ass for this.” Doug grabs Marcus and Marcus is covering himself from Doug’s assault laughing, “Get off me!” Doug is serious.  Their mother enters the living room, “what’s going in here and why are you (Doug) beating up on your brother? Doug knock it off, stop.” “I will after I beat him up!”, Says Doug still on top his brother on the sofa grabbing and roughing Marcus up, his mother orders him, “I mean it, get off your little brother.”  Doug stops and their mother ask for an explanation. Doug angrily tells his mom, “He interrupted my alone time with  Tracy bothering us.”  Marcus laughing, “All I did was caught him trying to get a kiss from Tracy.” Doug wants to continue beating up on Marcus, while their mother restrains him and orders Marcus to leave the living room while she calms Doug.

 The following day, around after 3pm in the apartment, Doug is in the living room alone watching TV while hopefully awaiting a phone call from Tracy and he has the TV remote control in his hand changing channels. He is still reaming at Marcus trying to restrain himself for messing up his alone time with Tracy and he does not know if she will want to be with him again, after what Marcus done.  Marcus enters the apartment from school through the front entrance and he notice his big brother is alone in the living room still ticked off staring at the TV screen. Marcus teasingly greets Doug, “Whassup! Big bro! All alone, no Tracy. Like to hang with you, I'm about  to handle my business doing my do!”  Marcus leaves the living room going to the back snickering at Doug and Doug is trying his best not to let Marcus get the best of him.  They’re sister Deb enters the apartment with her friend, Stacy. Deb is months younger than Marcus and they go to the same school and Stacy likes Marcus and Marcus likes her back as in a school crush talking to one another, as in seeing one another. Deb introduces Stacy to Doug and Doug waves hi to her not looking her direction. Stacy tells Deb, “Your place is nice Deb, is Marcus home, I want to see him (smiling) and I know he wants to see me.” Deb laughs while she replies, “I keep forgetting you two started liking each other, as in boyfriend and girlfriend.” Deb is laughing with Stacy laughing also and Doug asks Stacy, “You really like Marcus and y’all talking, Stacy?” Deb tells him, “They both like each other.” Smiling, Doug says, “Oh is that so!  You know something Marcus is home and he is in the back handling his business doing his do. I take you to him, I know he will be shock and surprise to see you, follow me.”  Stacy replies, “I hope so!” Deb witnessing is wondering what Doug is up to. Doug walks to the rear of the apartment flat with Stacy along Deb following.  He gets to the bathroom saying, “Here he is!” Doug swiftly opens the door revealing Marcus sitting on the toilet with his pants around his ankles yelling “WHAT DA?” Stacy looks in “OOPS!” As she walks away blushing and Marcus already embarrass not saying a word. He is upset at Doug opening the door exposing him on the toilet to his girlfriend as a way of payback. The bathroom door opens from the outside and Marcus still on the toilet hoping Doug would close the door. Stacy tells Deb what she saw and Deb is shaking her head then giggling while leaving the area to go to Deb room and talk.  Doug walks away laughing going back to the living room leaving the bathroom door wide open.  Marcus is about to get up off the toilet and close the door. The back door to the apartment opens and it is his mother entering the apartment and she is about to pass the bathroom noticing her son shaking her head asking, “Marcus, why are you sitting your butt on the toilet with the door wide open. Close the dang door if you going to use the bathroom.” He wants to explain, but decides never mind while she closes the bathroom door shut.

           Later, Marcus enters the living room looking at Doug and Doug lounge back on the sofa asks him, “Whassup baby brother, what no jumping around laughing.  Seems like I have the last laugh ha-ha-ha!”  Marcus tells him, “You got yours, you got even!” The phone rings and their mother answers it, she calls for Doug to pick up the phone and Doug picks up the telephone in the living room and it is Tracy. He’s smiling while talking on the phone with Tracy, he hangs up telling Marcus, “Like to hang with you baby brother, I’m about to handle my business with Tracy, like to hang with you baby brother but I have to go, later!” Doug leaves looking back at Marcus, then leaving while laughing.  Suddenly Deb and Stacy exits Deb room about to exit. Stacy notice Marcus, asking is he is okay. He tells her “I’m okay!” They talk and Deb leaves them alone to handle their business.

One morning at a department store, a woman with her precocious 6 year-old daughter is shopping.  The girl let her mother know she has to use the bathroom.  They locate the women’s room entering, with the little girl running to the first available booth entering, the mother tells her to “hold up sweetie.” The little girl says, “I can go alone mommy.”  The mother says, “I know you can sweetie, I just want to make this booth is decent.” As the mother wipes the seat and lined the seat with paper, she says, “All set, close and lock the door.  Mommy will be the in the next booth.”

While the little girl is going, she is reading the words on the booth walls, she notice an unfamiliar word.  She says, “Mommy?”  The mother says, “Yes sweetie.”  The little girl asks, “What’s fucking?”  The mother becomes startled and an elderly woman in another booth using, “Oh my goodness gracious, the language from that child’s tongue.”  Two high-school girls in the restroom using are giggling. The mother tells her, “its means to hug sweetie, are you done, mommy is.”

Later at home, the same little girl is home in the living room with her brother playing, their father arrives home from work.  He picks her up kissing and he gives his son a big hug and rubs on the head, then going upstairs to clean-up for dinner.

The little girl runs into the kitchen where the mother is talking with a member of her society club.  She says, “Mommy, mommy, daddy is home, he picked me up and gave me a kiss.  He also fucked Junior, before he went upstairs to wash-up for dinner.  The mother becomes speechless, while the other woman is in total shocked.