Wilder Brounson

A police detective name Kurt enters the 31st Avenue subway restroom to use. At the last urinal before the two low partition toilet stalls with no door in front of for privacy urinating, a dude is sitting in the first stall, with his pants down to his ankles, he is checking Kurt out on the low, stooping up trying to get a glimpse of Kurt’s privates.  As Kurt looks his direction, the dude swiftly sits back down on the pot acting innocent.  Kurt seething, “Really fucking unbelievable, bathroom pervert trying to make a pass at me, why don’t I play his game.”  Kurt finishes at the urinal flushing, he goes over to the basin to rinse his hands and afterward he goes to stand near in front the other dude’s booth.  The dude notice Kurt back, moves his trousers down a little, spreads his leg wider, removing his penis out the bowl, while licking his lips and inviting Kurt over.  Kurt goes over to him removing his police identification and badge.  The dude is shock and nervously tries to talk himself out this situation, plus accusing Kurt of entrapment.

Later Kurt is escorting the dude (handcuffed behind his back) out the restroom saying to him, “the reason for that bathroom being open Frank is for pissing and or taking a dump.  I can see if you were on the bowl making as if you are taking a dump, but when you began taking your dick out the bowl flirting, that really took the cake pal. Well since you into flirting with other guys while on are the can Frank, allow me to take you to a place where you can freely do so.”  Frank is embarrassed and thinking of a way out of this and how is he going to explain it to his family and his job.

One morning at a department store, a woman with her precocious 6 year-old daughter is shopping.  The girl let her mother know she has to use the bathroom.  They locate the women’s room entering, with the little girl running to the first available booth entering, the mother tells her to “hold up sweetie.” The little girl says, “I can go alone mommy.”  The mother says, “I know you can sweetie, I just want to make this booth is decent.” As the mother wipes the seat and lined the seat with paper, she says, “All set, close and lock the door.  Mommy will be the in the next booth.”

While the little girl is going, she is reading the words on the booth walls, she notice an unfamiliar word.  She says, “Mommy?”  The mother says, “Yes sweetie.”  The little girl asks, “What’s fucking?”  The mother becomes startled and an elderly woman in another booth using, “Oh my goodness gracious, the language from that child’s tongue.”  Two high-school girls in the restroom using are giggling. The mother tells her, “its means to hug sweetie, are you done, mommy is.”

Later at home, the same little girl is home in the living room with her brother playing, their father arrives home from work.  He picks her up kissing and he gives his son a big hug and rubs on the head, then going upstairs to clean-up for dinner.

The little girl runs into the kitchen where the mother is talking with a member of her society club.  She says, “Mommy, mommy, daddy is home, he picked me up and gave me a kiss.  He also fucked Junior, before he went upstairs to wash-up for dinner.  The mother becomes speechless, while the other woman is in total shocked.

One morning during work hour at this office. A office worker name Glenn, is about to  enter the one toilet and basin men’s restroom. His younger colleague a twentysomething name Carl is about to enter the restroom along with him and Glenn, before he push Carl out, Carl tells him. That he has to go also, Glenn figuring he has to only urinate sees no harm, as he goes to the toilet raising the seat then taking out his penis urinating while Carl locks the door to the bathroom, before Glenn would question, Carl explains “we won’t be disturb.” Glenn tells him, “I hope u don’t think that you and I will” “I’m straight!” Glenn finish peeing, then flushes the toilet placing his penis inside his pants before going to wash his hand at the basin.  At the same time, Carl’s goes to the toilet placing the seat back down, turning around dropping his trousers along with his boxer taking a seat on the toilet. Glenn is shock wondering saying to him, “What da hell you think you’re doing?” Carl in the process of emitting the sound of diarrhea responds, “What does it look like, I’m taking a dump.  I told you I have to use the bathroom.” “Shitting on the toilet directly in front of me,” Glenn says, “This is totally creeping me out. Let me get out of here.” Carl urgently tells him, “Please don`t open that door yet. Besides I’m almost done.” Glenn is totally speechless enduring the sight and smell of his young colleague on the toilet. Later, Glenn and Carl exit the restroom after Glenn tells him, “Do that again and I will kick your ass!”  Carl is laughing.

One morning leaving for school at home, at 13-year-old kid boy name Darryl is in the bathroom pacing around because he has an issue and is with this new kid at his school, who is in his class and his name is Carl. Carl is different in a certain way, because of the way he walks, talks and carries himself with other kids thinking he has gay tendencies, plus being too friendly with Darryl and some the other kids teasingly thinking him and Carl are a couple. Darryl is bother by it and he does not want to hurt Carl’s feeling. Darryl does know what to do and while at the same time,  his 8-year-old brother Deon is banging on the bathroom door in urgent need to get into the bathroom, also asking Darryl, “Are you almost done in there Darryl? I really have to go!” Their older brother Dexter asking Deon, “He still in the bathroom?” Deon nods yes and Darryl exits with Deon running inside the bathroom going to the toilet to urinate after raising the lid and seat while Dexter following Darryl into the kitchen, while Deon finish using the bathroom, “Listen little brother (getting Darryl’s attention), I know you at the age, take it from me, I know why you’re at the age and I know why you spend a long time in the bathroom.” Darryl reply, “You do?” “That’s right little brother, I do and I also, too get those urges and I want to do you know it’s okay. But not in the morning, before school is not the right time baby brother. (Darryl giving him a confuse look) You know, touching yourself.” Darryl catches on laughing, explaining, “I wasn’t in the bathroom masturbating, I was thinking about this new kid name Carl. Everyone thinks he’s gay and too friendly thinking me and him. It’s getting on my nerves.” Dexter tells him, “Then, if being around him makes you uncomfortable, let him know after all, all he is doing is being friendly, it’s not like y’all doing it.”  Darryl responds with disgust, “UGH! I would never. I like girls and speaking of girls, you mentioned urges.” Dexter tells him, “Uh, oh never mind Darryl, get out of here and go to school, you’re running late.” Laughing, Darryl tells, “Don’t hold it in, it’s okay if you want to talk to me about those urges.”  Dexter tells Darryl, “Will you get out of here and go to school already!”  Darryl says, “Okay! Later on, you and I must sit down and talk about those urges you be having.” Darryl is leaving the house laughing and Dexter is laughing also.

A fifth grader one Monday morning name Sean asks his teacher for permission to use the boy’s bathroom and she gave him permission.  He enters the large boy’s room, to the sight of another fifth grader he knows name Horatio, they were in the same 2nd graders class and he is sitting in a stall with no door in front with his pants down using.

Sean nods hi to Horatio and Horatio nods back, not caring if Sean is watching him on the toilet. Sean is walking to the last urinal at the end of the restroom to use. Before Sean is done urinating, he hears Horatio exiting the restroom, he hears no toilet flushing and no water running so he could wash his hands, just the entrance door to the restroom slamming.

Sean is going to wash his hands at the basin.  After he is done washing, he goes to the stall Horatio was using looking into the bowl and he is stun at what he sees, a large fat turd in a bowl of urine and water, his poop is halfway out the water and no paper, in fact the stall has no paper, how gross is not enough to make Sean vomit.  Sean kicks the lever to the toilet twice to make the human solid waste go down. Just in case another kid enters with him leaving, so the other kid would not think it was he who forgot to flush the toilet and left the restroom reeking.

Later at lunchtime in the cafeteria, Sean is about to consume his lunch of a cheeseburger, fries, chocolate milk and lime gelatin ‘til Horatio comes over to sit across the table from him.  Sean remembers about what happened in the boy’s room earlier on how Horatio not only flushing his poop down the toilet, he did not wipe his behind and wash his hands, his appetite is ruin and if he tells Horatio, Horatio probably would not care.

Sunday afternoon at the Storefront Church of God, just about service is near over, the Pastor telling his congregation, “…you really sang your heart out Sister Montgomery, the way you led the choir and everyone in here, nearly blew the roof off the church, can I get a Amen (the church respond “AMEN”)! Before we have the benediction and be on our way, I have a story to tell you, it won’t be long. This story happened a long time ago when I was seven-years of age and I was at this amusement park with grandfather that summer, my grandfather was one of those very deep religious men, always faithful and a proud church leader and I ask him, being a child of curiosity, ‘Grandpa’, he responds, ‘yes, what is it Stevie?’ I ask ‘is it true God is everywhere?’ I must had caught him by surprise and he probably could not answer me at that moment and he told me to wait later and I did, because at the time of questioning, we was in the men’s room and he was sitting in a stall on the toilet with his pants down. And me, I was the next stall, also with my pants down on the toilet (almost everyone in the church is laughing). And later I learn that God is everywhere, let the church say amen (Amen responses)! And let’s get ready to adjourn and prepare for the benediction.”

At a neighborhood bar called Freddie’s, a sixty-year-old man name Gus, who is a regular patron there is sitting at his favorite spot at the counter at the front in the corner enjoying his usual Jack Daniels, chasing it with Corona Extra while watching the game on TV.

Gus notice this young woman entering the bar, being his boastful self, he offers the young woman a seat next to him and treating her to whatever she wants.  The young woman accepts his generous offering be ordering a Hennessey with Coke.  She sits next to him, Gus makes his introduction and she introduces herself as Erica.  They talk, socialize and drink together before Gus takes her to his place, so they can have privacy.

At Gus place, he and the woman are in his living room getting comfortable while listening to some oldie CD’s on the stereo playing.  On the couch feeling and caressing each other, Gus begins taking his right hand up her skirt, wanting to warm her up.  Suddenly Gus feels something wrong with Erica moaning.  He checks again and he is shock by jumping up shouting,

“WHAT DA FUCK?  YOU’RE A FUCKING DRAG BITCH!”  

Nervous, Erica is coming clean and notice Gus is agitated by telling him, “listen uh Gus, I know you are really upset, but I”  “hold up bitch, I didn’t bring you up here to my place, so I could get screwed around with.” Gus interrupted, still bitter while she tells him, “I know you didn’t Gus, I just get my things and go.”  While Erica is busy getting himself together, Gus angrily grabs him by the neck and bending him over the arm of the sofa yelling, “

YOU WANNA BE A BITCH, HUH BOY! ALLOW ME TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT!”

Gus holding Erica neck while brutally dry stroking him from behind, Erica in pain is pleading,

“uh take it, uh take it easy Gus, uh you’ll-l-l hurting me!”

Gus still behind him reacts,

“WHAT!

What you think we are getting busy?  You motherfucking bitch, get yo shit and git da fuck out my house!”  Erica still in pain asks, “Can I at least straighten up first?”  Gus grabs him by the neck, opening the entrance to the apartment tossing him out and his belongings behind him with a stern warning,

“stay the fuck away from me or I will git my fucking gun and blow your pathetic life away!”  

Gus slams his door, Erica still in pain before walking away, angrily pounds and kicks Gus door.  Gus ignores it, by going to the bathroom to shower saying, “here I wanted was some pussy and what do I get instead, a faggot in a dress!”

One evening at home, Gus is about to take the garbage out to the chute, exiting his apartment he notice his first and favorite cousin Webster getting off the elevator approaching his apartment and Gus gleefully greets his cousin, “WEBSTER” and Webster smiling “GUS, longtime cuz”. They hug and Gus tells him, “I see you finally found the time to pay me a visit.” Webster replies, “Sorry about that cuz, you know how it is, you’re out after being in prison for a long time and you want to enjoy that taste of freedom and everything that comes along with it, like spending time with this old lady friend of mine who recently became a widow, she was lonely and two lonely people ought to spend time alone together, if you know what I mean (raising his eyebrow) getting busy stroking my brother.”  Gus says, “Good for you, I’m happy for you. Really I am (throwing his bag of garbage in the trash chute).”

Inside Gus apartment, Webster is telling Gus, “Things sure has changed around the old neighborhood, I remember a time I couldn’t walk down a street around here without some crackhead bothering me for money and the female crack heads. Man, I was randomly getting my cock suck and I’m surprise my dick didn’t fell off.  I tell you one thing, when I first return back to the old neighborhood, I searched high and low to find me a bar, I was in the desperate for some scotch or whiskey, along with some female companionship. if you know what I mean.  I went into this place that I mistake for a bar call Starbucks, (Gus is cracking up laughing) yea cuz I went inside and order me a glass of scotch on the rocks and a Heineken, the way I said it, the other patrons there thought I was a comedian joking and the worker tells me, “Sorry sir, we don’t serve alcoholic beverages here at this Starbucks. Boy did I felt like an asshole, only to find out Starbucks is coffee shop, where you got all these people lounging around on their electronic devices and cell phones sipping coffee.  So, I figure, I order me a cup of coffee, three bucks for a cup of coffee shit, got-damn! Times sure has changed, the place looks comfy especially the bathroom which I used after this homely ass white woman exited, she must had taken one hell of a shit in that bathroom, had left the bathroom kicking up a storm. I mention the aroma she left behind, the ugly cunt tells me, (imitating the woman’s tone) what did I expect, it’s a public toilet okay, deal with it.  I went into the bathroom to take me a whiz, I tell you one thing the bathroom looks clean , comfy and decent with plenty of T.P., plus the smell from that bitch left behind died down a little, I said why not as I drop the seat down, drop my pants and my draws, sat down on the bowl and took me a good ass crap, which felt so good (Gus is laughing), the toilet felt so comfortable, I practically didn’t want to get off of it. After I left, after finishing using the bathroom, some woman I guess somewhere from the West Indies, probably Jamaican enters the bathroom, she took a whiff and made a ugly facial comment toward me and I told her, yea I just took a shit, deal with it! She scoffs at me in disgust while entering the bathroom.”  Gus burst out laughing as Webster tells him, “Another thing I seen to also notice is a lot of these young brothers acting and dressing like sisters.”  Gus says “You got that right, cuz.”  Webster tells him, “Some of them are walking around with they’re pants hanging down off their ass, showing off their draws, I don’t want to see that mess, I left shit like that in the joint, I guess wherever you go, you can’t escape that nonsense!”  Gus replies, “You got that right.” Webster says, “Yep, what you hiding Gus, you know I’m going to bother you for a drink and don’t tell me you’re on that A-A, clean and sober crap, I know you cuz.” Laughing, Gus tells him, “I have Jack Daniels.” Webster tells him, “Old Jack, old number 7, (eyes lit gleaming) bring it Cuz, I sure could use that thirst quencher.”!  Gus says, “I will, I will!” As Webster and Gus talk some more.

A 30-year-old man name Les, still living at home with mom, realize his 12-old-year smart-aleck nephew is staying with them for the summer. He arrives home with his mom in the living room telling him the news that his nephew, Shawn is here. He says “okay”. As he opens the door to the only bathroom in the house to the sight of Shawn sitting on the toilet with his pants down. He looks at Shawn and Shawn at him, Les says while closing the door shut, “Next time, lock the door!” Shawn responds yelling, “Next time, knock!”.

The toilet flushes with Shawn exiting and Les enters the bathroom commenting, “damn, you left this bathroom stinking.” Shawn replies, “it’s supposed to, I just got through taking a doo-doo, hello!” Les says, “Boy, uh!” Les shutting the bathroom door after entering and Shawn is laughing.

A father is busy in the bathroom using the toilet, when his son opens the door with a clipboard in his hand and his stopwatch. The father on the family throne with his pants down to his ankles saying, “Don’t tell me, fire drill.” The son says, “yep!” The father tells him, “Out of the whole day, why must you conduct a fire drill during my bathroom time.” The son replies, “You never know when a fire or something disastrous is going to occur, especially during yours, mines or anyone’s bathroom time dad. That’s the reason for this fire drill dad” The father replies, “Oh I see, keep having any more drills while I’m in the bathroom taking a dump, you will be expecting something disastrous.” As his father finishes up using the bathroom so he could participate.

Back in the mid-1970s one Saturday morning, a mother of 4 is busy in her bathroom of the tenement apartment she lives with her family, she is sitting on the toilet doing a crossword puzzle from her weekly TV Guide magazine. At the same time, her 7-year-old son, Kevin is in the living room watching his favorite cartoon show. His 11-year-old sister, Wanda enters the room going directly to the TV set Kevin is watching, ignoring him switching to channel 5 to watch Soul Train. Kevin angrily jumps off the couch going to the TV, to turn the channel rotator back to the channel his cartoons are on with Wanda daring him and they start arguing, shoving and shouting with their mom still in the bathroom yelling, “KNOCK IT OFF, YOU TWO, don’t let me have to get off this toilet and come out there!” Kev goes to the bathroom door complaining with Wanda defending her actions as they continue arguing and fussing with their mother looking into the air, angry not at her two young kids arguing outside the bathroom door, at the fact her alone bathroom time, which she cherishes is being interrupted, the only time she could be alone in solitude.

Later, Wanda and Kev are in the living room sitting on the couch, Wanda on one end and Kev on the other end, both of them are being punish, ordered silent with the TV set unplug by their mother, who was force to cease her bathroom time, she is in her bedroom. Their two older brothers enter the apartment and notice their younger siblings, their 13-year-old brother David coming home from his weekly Boy Scout Meeting and their 16-year-old Chris from shooting hoops at the playground. Both of them looking around and Chris ask, “what’s happened and what you two did now?” Kevin replies, “ma got mad at us, because we were fighting over the TV set.” “and she came out of the bathroom.’ Wanda adds with Dave shockingly interrupts, “You mean you two disturb mom using the bathroom.” Chris shockingly tells them, “Never, ever bother mom using the bathroom, that is the ultimate sin!” “Pops never bother mom in the bathroom and I didn’t blame him.” Dave said. Wanda says, “We know now, my butt still hurts after that beating that beating she gave me.” Kevin says, “mine, too.” As their mother enters the room still fuming, but calm a little, she tells Chris and Dave, they told you (both Chris and Dave nodding yes then telling all 4). It’s plain and simple, do not bother mommy in the bathroom with door close taking a bath or using the toilet. All I ask, do not disturb or make me come out this bathroom unless it’s a real emergency, like the house is on fire. When I go into that bathroom, lock the door, I do not want to be disturb. Let’s hear it.”  All 4 children in unison “DO NOT DISTURB MOMMY USING THE BATHROOM, UNLESS IT’S A REAL EMERGENCY. WAIT ‘TIL SHE COME OUT THE BATHROOM. THERE IS TO BE NO FIGHTING OR ARGUING, ESPECIALLY WHILE MOMMY IS THE BATHROOM.” She says, “Good and those who disobey will be severely discipline.” After that moment, none of the kids disturb mom bathroom time, never.