Tumblr when Ao3 is down is like those brooding vengeful protagonist on a quest when their wife dies
We having a full flashback of Ao3 on white dress and dramatic music on the backgroud
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Tumblr when Ao3 is down is like those brooding vengeful protagonist on a quest when their wife dies
We having a full flashback of Ao3 on white dress and dramatic music on the backgroud

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We woke up with the sun and took my stupid dead husband's ashes to a park I refuse to remember the name of and he ruined my day one last time by making my bf nervous and he ended up spilling my coffee, with weed butter in it, all over his 🤍white🤍 T-shirt 🤪 as he bent over to dump the ashes under a tree, because of course my foot is broken and I couldn't walk on the uneven ground myself. Anyway I'm not having a good time lol I'm not having any of the good feelings I thought I would and in fact I feel like absolute shit so I'm not in the mood to really talk to anyone or be nice at all. I spent a couple hours with my plants and now my leg and foot hurt even worse so I'm doing drugs about it and probably gonna have myself a good cry at some point today. I need weed 🍃💨 money if anyone is feeling generous but I'm not in the mood to beg for it🫠
There is no timeline on grief #trauma #grief #widowhood
Widowhood had made her a more forgiving woman, an though Maekar killed her husband, she does not hate him because she believed Baelor would have forgiven him. Maekar hadn’t forgiven himself and so he believed that Cyrene hated him deeply despite the comforting words
Ten years today-I almost forgot.
Not because I don't care, but because I've become comfortable with it-not sure when. I no longer feel overwhelmed or lost, even when the kids are being challenging. Not particularly bothered by loneliness either-I have found some comfort in solitude, I guess.
And the zoo have found their footing after all the chaos, and are becoming people their father would be proud of. Sweet Sixteen for the Middle Kiddo next week. We'll miss him then, especially.
It's been a weird, scary ride, but we are here. Thriving (kinda), Becoming, Learning.
Bring on the Midlife Crisis-I'm gonna kick its ass.

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there are 10 days left of my iddah. how time floats and yet stands completely still after the loss of someone you love.
most remnants of my husband’s life have faded with time. i changed the room setting where he stayed during the later stages of his illness.
his belongings have been sorted and divided. his identity card canceled.
every day, i lose more and more of him. 🥀
but I can’t bring myself to change this sign just yet.
the memory of how i decorated our living room for the beginning of ramadan so the kids would have something to cheer them up. how i begged Allah ﷻ to give my husband enough strength that he could come out of his room to see it. how he never did get to see the decor.
how he passed away in ramadan, and how this is the only visual sign left of the fact that a part of my life stands still with his last breath.
Out of respect for the deceased, and those who were traumatized, I've only saved my recent thoughts & questions in 'draft' form. Breaking my silence today because this incident deserves exposure.
Recent widow, Erika Kirk, wore Sandy's 'You're the One that I Want' leather pants to initiate an intimate full frontal hug & caress of VP JD Vance's hair on stage at a TPUSA event. 😳
Happy old birthday, to my Mr.
Today is my day
for missing you
your birthday
I hope that if
there is a life
after this
and you are
in it
that you are happy
Your deathday was
in August
your old birthday
in case you have forgotten
was today
October
The only people
who do not grow older
are people who
have died
the lucky ones
either get old
or don't
depending on
quality of life
you loved it
while it was here
but the end
was too much trouble
next time
have a heart attack
or an accident
next time
do not languish
with feeding tubes
and morphine
and an ever more gaunt
frame
your bones were beautiful
but better with your body
decorating their shapeliness
and your ashes
are nothing special
just something
left over
no account
I should feed you
to the roses
only
today is the day
I miss you
so much
.