#wiccanginger

2023 AF attack for @wiccanginger I still lov ethis attack so much and this character! Timelapse under the cut!

Thanks so much!!

thnkz!!

Goldenfall - a longhaired golden shaded tortie with amber eyes and a huge back scar. A permaqueen who loves kittens and has a grass allergy.

Lesbeans

Hello :D I saw this and was curious so I thought I’d send you something. Have this fluffball seeing as I want to write about her in the future ^^ 

https://wolfcastfreya.deviantart.com/art/Smol-Toki-726463099?ga_submit_new=10%3A1516906043&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1

Hello, hello, @wiccanginger ! It’s an honour that you’ve sent us your char to review! 

Now, I’m a big fan of natural-looking animal characters, there’s no hiding that. From first glance, Toki’s colour scheme is especially beautiful. That coat is to die for, especially the brown ;v;

Shadow manipulation is an interesting power. Although it has been used before, and is often reserved for ~*edgy*~ characters, so make sure you make it stand out from the rest! It can seem like it’s just there for show, if it’s too general. 

As for the backstory, it’s been used a hundred times before - hell, one of my characters even has the escaped-from-a-testing-facility backstory - so again, make sure to find ways to differentiate it to other stories of that nature. Make sure not to let it get too mary-sue either; many people fall into the trap of having a character either never suffer from their past, or constantly suffer from their past as a woe-is-me tactic to gain the reader’s sympathy; a lazy tactic to use, if I do say so myself. But as long as you keep it realistic and do your research, it should be okay.

Ah, personality traits! My favourite. There’s seemingly a lot for you to play with, here. I’m a sucker for cynical and bad-tempered characters, truly I am. But they have to have redeeming qualities somewhere otherwise they’ll probably just come off as an asshole. Hopefully Toki has a bit of a nicer side, too.

As well, I’m never keen on the “unstoppable killing machine” thing, since it’s often just so overpowered. Servals are tiny compared to humans, even adult servals, so she must have had some darn good luck to get past all those armed humans and escape, because while cats can do a lot of damage, they probably can’t fight off a dozen or so humans; even with powers and whatnot. In terms of that, though, it could be balanced more with the other thing you mentioned; not knowing how to live in the wild. Perhaps Toki is a great fighter, but completely useless and reliant on others to get food and shelter. Who knows?

And finally, why would they be testing on animals? Why use wild animals as weapons when they’re hard to domesticate? Why not use pets? And how the heck did they manage to harness shadows in the first place; do the other animals have these powers too? Some more worldbuilding could be done here, at least to flesh things out. But I suppose you’ll be explaining all that in the longer story, so that’s fine if so!

Overall, I think Toki is a decent enough character. Her design is beautifully simple, which I’m a big fan of. The colours work well together. Her personality could be a little more fleshed out, however, to prevent her from becoming the 2D cutout “antisocial but powerful” archetype. With what you’ve said, though, I have full faith that you’ll be able to make her stand out from the crowd. A little more work could be done, but overall you have a solid character to start with. I like her!