#whomever

But I think Buck is really just excited to talk about his death in a manner that isn’t serious. To the end of life doula, its not you died, Buck. Not in that solemn tone. With Natalia, he’ll be able to process his death in a manner that is “safe” for him. Nothing too mentally tasking. Like friends who are going out for coffee. Even with a therapist, the first thing they do is listen and see whether your reaction is healthy or not. Natalia is more curious of the aspects of death—morbid as it is. It’s not like she’ll grieve him. The him, he used to be. And the him, he will be. It literally won’t matter to her. Natalia knows no difference.

Plus, no one likes to talk about death because of the pain and misery. The uncomfortableness that it brings to the table. And with the end of life doula, it’s just as it is. It won’t hurt her feelings, won’t cause her sadness. I think he doesn’t want talk to someone who is emotionally invested in him because it is a sad topic. Buck doesn’t want to make his love ones feel discomfort. And people won’t have to see him be vulnerable or scared. While yes, Buck has people who do want to talk to him about it. Doesn’t mean he wants to. Or have too. He was probably at a state of denial. Also I think it’s always easier to tell a stranger first about your feelings than someone who knows you from the inside out.

Which is why when he does speak to Eddie about his death, it’s entirely different. Eddie and him have seen each other’s lowest points, and they are solely connected. They’re each other’s safe place. And Buck will always return home.

But here’s my favorite thing: 

After the angelic B theme, the modulation back to the A theme goes UP A TRITONE, from the tonal center of A to Eb. 

The tritone, the interval that occurs when you divide the Western musical octave equally in half, was historically believed to be called diabolus in musica or THE DEVIL IN MUSIC, and was avoided as much as possible up until the end of the Renaissance era as it was not considered consonant enough for liturgical use. Modern interpretations of the tritone tend toward representing the profane, evil, and/or sinister.* 

I see you David Arnold, I see you

*edited to add a more nuanced historical background

(The moment in question happens at 1:27)

“---and so I broke up with him. It just wasn’t right, you know?” a small sigh leaves her lips as she looks up at the person. She knew she could trust them with this bit of information - having trusted them in the past with secrets. “I mean, come on. I can’t be with one when fantasizing about another. It’s just wrong. Landon will understand later, I’m sure.”