Little side note, I am not claiming these pictures they aren't mine. My hands did not create all these. Minus the piccrew image I actually had a hand in.

Elenore

Winery

(Elenore and William's mom)

Graceful Rose

Elenore's wife

Fabulous Edna

Keir's mom p.s she dyed her hair actually.

Tired Dr Theo

@irathgo @smellofsnoww @luna-rein

I’m so frustrated at how out of practice I am with art and writing (creative, not academic). Four years trying to keep up with schoolwork in uni is no joke, even if it’s for literature which is somewhat related I guess. In a way, it’s made me even more (negatively) critical of what I do, which, aghh. I know it’s my own fault for not practicing, but the lack of energy, motivation, inspiration etc made me not even want to draw. And I think it must have been almost a decade since I wrote or attempted to write? Although I managed to pull 12000 words out of my ass for my trainwreck of a thesis, I can’t imagine doing that for anything narrative.  

Compared to my first and second year where I drew like mad I don’t think I even drew at all in my third and final year, being exhausted with everything around me. And it blows because you can literally track the lack of improvement (and even worsening). And will this be what it’s like when I start working? The other option is to of course pursue animation, but that’s always been unsustainable given where I live. I guess I didn’t care enough to dare. Again, own fault. But it’s just been this irritation nudging at me whenever I draw. I don’t want to pursue it professionally, but I do still want to improve, I guess? But it’s hard to when there’s a thousand other things clamouring to be done (plus, so many good books to read and shows to watch).

And I suppose there is this part of myself that thinks (in a fucked up way of course) that my tangential-at-best talent for art is all I have to offer, and if not that then what?