#which babe

Which ones would even like me? Um, all of them. Alexa, play ‘Delight’ by Avenue Beat. If anyone thinks differently, they’re WRONG. (Jk, they’re probably very right. I’m historically difficult and guarded)

Ari Levinson

No. This man hardly wants to go home. Maybe it’s because he married the wrong person, maybe it’s bc he has commitment issues, maybe it’s bc all he knows how to do is run towards work. Sad 😞

Jake Jensen

Gosh, I wish. But probably not. As a 2000s dude, he’s probably into skinny little minis, which I’m not. He probably won’t be looking for personality for another ten years. It’s okay. I can wait.

Curtis Everett

Gosh, I’d be down bad. I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again, reluctant leaders are so attractive. Those who are chosen by the people but think they’re undeserving are the greatest. I’d spend every day happily backing him up. The question is: does he even have room in his life for me?

Steve Rogers

The king of forgiveness and second chances. Here’s hoping. I don’t think he’s intentionally vain, so maybe I’d have a shot, but would I just be comparing myself and thinking I’m not good enough constantly?

Andy Barber

I have dated someone very similar to this I fear. Dismissive of the views of women, demeaning to anyone who he deems as less intelligent than himself. Yikes. I could fix him, though, right? I just want a domestic house.

Ransom Drysdale

If he didn’t murder me, yeah. I’d be his evil wife, but it all hinges on his vanity which would pass right over me😔

Lloyd Hansen

Scratch what I said before. I’d def be Lloyd’s evil wife. I don’t think he’s got a type beyond desperate, and baby that’s me. But he’s not one for commitment. Ouch. Maybe I could fix him, too. Give pussy so good he gets drunk on it

Jimmy Dobyne

No. Switch flip turned me off. Floosy.

Out of the fictional babes, which one for you would your real friends pick, which one your parents/family would pick, and which one your tumblr friends would pick for you?

Eva! Sorry it took me forever to answer this! Honestly, it took me a long time to sort through what I think my friends would say, but I think I finally came up with the answer!

Real Life Friends Pick: Cole Turner

He’s so boy next door

Babes: Lloyd, Ari, Jake, Steve

Subjects: Statistics, Physics, Literature, Economics

-Zombie

Oooo, @thezombieprostitute , I love this ask, but it’s so difficult to choose!!

Referring to this post

Lloyd - Physics: This man can’t make me hate the subject more than I already do. Is he condescending? Yes. Does he make me feel bad for forgetting to calculate horizontal motion into my projectile problems? For sure. But you know what? He’s persistent and he knows his stuff. He’s not gonna stop until I understand it enough to do the problems with my eyes closed.

Ari - Economics: Who knows more about world policy more than any of the other babes? This guy. He has to for his job. Needs to understand the motivator behind most foreign policy: money. Macro, he’s got that locked down. Micro, I’m not sure. I think he likes to save, but I also think stocks annoy him and every now and then he likes to splurge. He’ll give me enough to get by, though.

Jake - Statistics: I love stats, and I love Jakey. I think he’d be full of little facts and tidbits of world applications. He needs stats for the way he runs come and helps direct missions. Needs to know the likelihood of a good outcome and how to interpret and avoid the past mistakes of other ops teams and his own. It would be a lot of fun, except when I have to do a two-way ANOVA by hand and he double checks my work on his computer. That’s not fair.

Steve - Literature: I wholeheartedly believe he loves to read. That was such a common pastime, so even if the classics I’ve been assigned are past his time, he’s more than happy to dig into them with me. I feel like he probably has a better understanding of flowery prose than I do, too. Which is gonna come in handy because my reading comprehension SUCKS.

Jaqui! I originally started answering this ask wayyyyy back in March in honor of St. Patty’s Day, but time evidently got away from me.🫣 With American Independence Day coming up here tomorrow, it feels like an apt opportunity to try and finally answer this ask!

I’m going to go through common American holidays that I celebrate, but anyone can feel free to add on!!

St. Patrick’s Day: Ransom. For sure. It’s a drinking holiday! And huge in Boston. He’s gonna find any excuse to be reckless and have it lost in the crowd of others.

Memorial Day: Extended weekend? Count Andy in. The office isn’t even open if he wanted to go in. But something tells me he’s willing to go on a weekend trip with you. Nice and secluded in a little resort, or maybe a luxury cabin. He’ll spend that day tangled up with you when he’s not grilling like the suburban dad he is😉

4th of July: now, I know what you’re thinking. It’s gotta be Steve. Like, sure, but also, maybe he’s a little sick of the massive fanfare. Therefore, I think it’s Lloyd (despite how we know how much he loves Valentine’s Day). Can you not see that man in an American flag speedo? He’s so cocky about it. Showing off his body in the lake. “Come on in, cupcake, the water’s fine and so am I 😏”

Labor Day: for this one, I’m thinking Frank. It’s the end of summer, the days are getting shorter, but the humidity’s gone and the weather is much more tolerable. It’s a good time for a ride on a boat down the coast. Maybe floating and having a good time with you🥺

Halloween: Jake Jake Jake!!! He’s so good with the kiddos, has a blast handing out candy or trick-or-treating with his niece. He can always figure out the most niche costumes. But don’t let his amazing, uncle-ish nature fool you. The second the kiddos are away, he’s ready for night life. Parties where you can show off your couples costume and he can dance reallllll close😏 and then perhaps he needs to take you home right. then. You might not make it, though. The car’s rocking on the side of the road, tucked behind some trees😶‍🌫️

Thanksgiving: The food holiday! And I think as someone who grew up with food insecurity, Curtis always put a certain weight to it and it’s close to his heart. With so little money, Curtis probably had to learn to be creative in the kitchen, and so that man is gonna cook the best feast ever. But he’ll never call them better than the ones his mom made when she got the coupon for a free turkey at the local grocery store.

Christmas: Who likes lavish things? The opportunity to be celebrated and get cool stuff? Johnny. Always has. And he’s surprisingly close with his family. If you think he acts like a little kid any other day, just you wait until Christmas morning. He likes other Christmas activities with you, too, but it is a bit of a bummer that

President’s Day: Steve likes history. Especially things that are a little more recent in his mind than they may be to others in the current day. It’s the good kind of nostalgia. A reminder that people do remember some things even though it’s been so long. All hope isn’t lost.

Arbor Day: hug trees with Colin. He promises it’ll be a blast.

(i think maybe jake bc of how much he loves kids but idk)

Hi, nonnie! I love this question. I tried so hard to only pick a few, but the further I went, the more I could see each babe dating a single mom🫣 so maybe it’s in descending order? Idk, lemme know what you think.

I think Jake definitely would. He’d be absolutely great with the kiddos. I can see him being more than willing to stick a couple car seats in the back of his vehicle, ready to take you and the twins to the park, or maybe a nice meal at the local diner. And then eventually, home to his ma to introduce his three new favorite people 🥺