#well....shit

well, yesterday was my last day at the job i’ve been at for the past three years 

these were the gifts my supervisor gave me that i absolutely adore 

i know your boss isn’t your friend, but...she was an awesome supervisor and i’m really going to miss her 

in general, i’m going to miss how laid back everything was there and that most of the people who worked there were really cool and easy-going

but boy oh boy, the fucking adrenaline rush of knowing i don’t have to do public speaking anymore........ i feel so relieved. 

although, i do feel kinda bad because i didn’t end up having any luck getting any of my counties to commit to having us back this year which will be more work for whoever comes after me. then the only other person on the team who was brand new and filling in for someone who quit before the summer also just quit!! 

which....is pretty shitty because she knew when accepting this position that it’s one of those where you kind of need to commit to a year when signing on, that’s how this works but she’d still had some applications out there, i guess, and her dream job came through so she said peace out! 

(she also apparently got mad that she wasn’t able to take pto after turning in her notice and was like “but you let anna!!!” like...first of all, don’t drag me into this, but secondly no i did not. i actually know company policy and knew i wouldn’t be able to take pto once my notice was in so i asked and my supervisor was kind enough to let me use most of it before i turned in my notice so...shut up!) 

i feel bad that my supervisor is now out two people, but i’m hopeful they’ll still be able to get some new hires and they’ll be good. they’ve also already asked me if i’d be willing to do a 10 day work contract with them once they hire people so i can come and help train and i do love making money so....sure!! i’ll do the best i can! 

but apparently even the boss that’s over my supervisor is like, “it’s whatever, man” so i think it’ll be okay. and this program in particular has been going for over ten years and every year they’ve met their goals so i think if they’re able to say, “hey, we lost two people at the beginning of the school year and that made it hard for us to meet our numbers” i’m hoping the state will give them a pass. ultimately, though, it’s out of my hands and nobody’s mad at me for leaving, they’ve all said they understand and that i have to do what’s best for me and that they wish me well so i feel better knowing that (i’ve also been told i’m welcome back at any time as i’m eligible for rehire so that’s good to know)

i hope the best for them and i think it’s an important program, but i am so glad i’m not the one doing it anymore. it was taking an absolute toll on my mental health and i need to really take time now to focus on healing and dealing with my shit

i’m still not really sure when i’ll officially start full time with this other thing i have set up like...i’m still working on it and putting in hours, but they still don’t have me on the ding dang payroll which sucks because the longer i’m on a work contract i feel like the worse that’s gonna be for me come tax time, but...we’ll see, i guess

i also had to call about my insurance situation because i got a letter saying the cobra people couldn’t find my account or some shit and basically i guess the company i just left has 45 days to turn in some paperwork to them and then when they get that they’ll send me a packet of stuff and i have to fill something out and then turn that in and i guess we’ll see what happens? 

which...kinda sucks, but okay. although apparently if i do get the coverage it’ll be retroactive so anything i have done in between then i guess i’ll be reimbursed for? i don’t really know at this point, but the good news is.....i apparently don’t have a kidney disease!! 

at least not as far as my urologist could tell. the ultrasound said it could be suggestive of a renal disease, but obviously that’s not a diagnosis i just assumed that when the nurse called me and told me it was REALLY IMPORTANT that i keep my appointment and mentioned something about me possibly needing to see a nephrologist that i was like...fucked, basically, but nope!! just......need to drink more water as always. 

in my defense, though like...i’ve honestly just gotten out of the habit of drinking a lot throughout most of the day because i’ve been working jobs where it’s not really possible to be running to the bathroom all day long. when i’m teaching sometimes it’s back to back to back and there isn’t any time to stop for a break for at least an hour or so and back when i was at this other job if i was doing something like front desk or switchboard i also wanted to be at my desk as much as possible, especially the several times i was left to do that by myself and sometimes multiple jobs at the same time so like it’s not that i hate water and i hate having to drink it, i actually really like water i just....haven’t had the time to go to the bathroom a lot so i’ve been avoiding it and as a result have just been a kidney stone making machine apparently but...everything else looked good and i’m now at a “call us if you need us” basis with the urology folks so hopefully with this new job i can start drinking more water and fingers crossed never have to deal with another stone again!! 

At the hospital waiting to hear news about my uncle and I forget my damn notebook!! Fuck!!!!!!!!!!