#well... mostly

I will be rewatching most likely when the VOD comes

I also had Apo's stream on in the background, so i caught some stuff from her POV... not a lot though..

Anyway, i am here to yap about this stream yes yes, so Bannerfall spoilers underneath, as well as my extremely messy rambling

She didn’t know how long she had been running other than needing to get far away from them as she possibly could. She was out of breath, her legs ached and her heart tore in two. 

The pain was all too much. How could she think falling in love with the same man would be any different from being with her own Sasuke? Sure, maybe he did like her but not in the way she wanted. He loved her because she looked like his Sakura and that was all there was to it. 

‘You… remind me of her sometimes.’

Even he admitted that but that was a given. I mean they were them… kind of.

Sakura shook her head before confusing herself even more.

At first, with them spending all these years together Sakura thought there might have been the slightest hope he would fall for her. For who she was. He was the only person she could be herself with having to pretend to be the other Sakura among all their friends.

Sometimes it got so tiring and she would do something out of character, to which he would cover and say she was ‘cranky’ or ‘didn’t get enough sleep the previous night.’ With the look on their faces, questioning they all wondered if the two were together.

This wasn’t high school anymore where his covering up for her made more sense, they were grown adults so how would he know what she got up to at night? And the answer was simple really, they spend all their time together. Still searching and hoping that something would come up but after so long and failed attempts Sakura gave up and decided to stay and live this life. I mean what could she do now for her other friends after spending all these years here?

‘Unless you want to keep looking, for your Sakura that is. I don’t mind-’

‘Don’t bother.’ He told her. ‘Chances are she might have given up as well…’ He didn’t seem happy at the thought but if they couldn’t find anything then what hope did the other Sasuke and Sakura have?

Considering his other self wasn’t even in the picture, to begin with.

‘If we do find something… we’ll take it. And then we can go back to our own lives.’ There was a smile on her face hoping to cheer him up. 

To be more positive.

She was just glad she had one person she could talk to in this world.

That was what she said back then and now this.

Did she even want to go back? What was the point? But if Sasuke had his Sakura back here, then she couldn’t stay here either? 

‘Why do I get myself into these situations?’

Sakura was so caught up in her head that she hadn’t realised where her feet were taking her. To the cherry blossom tree where the other Sasuke had taken her and since had been their hang-out place. 

When in reality it was a place special to both him and the other Sakura.

Life really hated her.

Still, this was the only place to bring comfort and a bit of peace to mind so, she knelt down trying to pretend and imagine that everything was normal.

As normal as they could be.

Then why wouldn’t the tears stop forming? 

It had been more than a few hours and the kunoichi felt someone sit beside her, there was only one possible guess as this was ‘their’ place and indeed as she glanced at him it was the other Sasuke sitting there.

Of course, it wouldn’t be hers. Then again, he probably wouldn’t know how to approach her. It’s been how many years now?

Sakura quickly wiped her eyes and looked away.

“I thought I told you I wanted to space.”

“I know, and I did give you space but I’m not leaving you out here by yourself.” He replied coolly looking straight ahead. There was a silence that followed after, neither one daring or knowing what else to say.

“They’re at my place right now, it’s not like we can have two of us wandering about.”

“Mhmm,” she responded not really wanting to talk about them. So, this was it right? Tomorrow she would be back in her own world, with her own friends and family.

To some degree Sakura was happy, she had missed them so much but wondered how much had changed. It seemed they all knew about the predicament which led her to believe going back home would mean she would have to adjust again.

Knowing everyone would be older and had changed.

At least this time she would be prepared mentally.

“I…” Sakura shifted and Sasuke turned to look at her.

“I just wanted to say, thank you. For everything really.” Now, why did this feel like Deja Vu? 

“I mean you helped me throughout all this,” Sakura felt herself fidgeting feeling nervous with his gaze.

“And I don’t think there’s anything I can do to show you how grateful I am. So uh thanks.” Why did she have to ramble? Now it felt even more awkward and embarrassing. 

She hadn’t noticed the tears falling until his hand gently cradled her head and brush them away.

She felt herself leaning into him and couldn’t decipher the look on his face.

Was he as upset as she was about leaving but that wouldn’t make any sense right? He loved someone else. 

“Sakura,” she hummed in response and that was when she noticed how close their faces were. Until he closed the gap and pressed his lips onto hers.

Wait, what?

They were kissing?

Even his eyes were closed, Sakura pulled back and quickly stood up separating them. Her heart was pounding so fast.

“Are you insane? You can’t kiss me!” No. No, no, no, no. He couldn’t do this to her. Not now and what would happen if the other Sakura and Sasuke found out?

“Why not?” Why? WHY?! Because they were from two separate universes. He had his Sakura and she had her Sasuke. That’s why! What more reason was there.

Instead of waiting for her to respond, he stood up and carefully approached her. She felt so small and vulnerable standing in front of him.

That she’ll give in and allow herself to be selfish.

“Are you staying?”

“What?” 

“Are you staying?” Staying?

“I… you know I can’t…” Even if she wanted to, this wasn’t her home. She had no right to be here.

“Then this is enough,” he laced their hands together. “Be selfish and I’ll be selfish with you.”

“But you don’t-” Don’t love me was what she wanted to say but he hushed her with his finger.

“If I say it, it’ll only make things complicated.”

Complicated? So did that mean he did?

Then what about her?

“We can have tonight, just two of us and tomorrow… you can go back to your world and everything will be normal again.” 

Normal? Just like that?

What about their Sasuke and Sakura?

Would they be happy with this, is this really fair?

No, maybe her Sasuke wouldn’t care. They’ll still have so much to deal with when they get back, assuming that is if anything can be prepared? 

Does he even care for her?

‘You idiot, would he be here if he didn’t?’

She couldn’t do this to her other self though or to him. Before all this, their life seemed simple so how could she take it away? 

“I don’t want you two to be like us… it’s not fair on her, me, the other me. We can’t do this.”

She wanted to, had to pull away before it was too late yet he persisted. 

“Don’t overthink it, you said so yourself how unfair your life was. So let me make it up to you, for his mistakes.” And just like that he sealed their lips again and Sakura couldn’t stop herself from melting into the kiss this time. 

I was tagged a few days back by @nocturnalazure, but didn’t get round to doing this sooner. Thanks for the tag, these are interesting questions!

Last Song: I truly don't remember... So much music reaches my ears during the day that I really don't recall what the last song was. 😄🤷🏼‍♀️

Last Show: Inside Man, now that was a psychological rollercoaster... I still haven't made my mind up whether I liked it or not.

Currently watching: Queen Charlotte, which I'm enjoying. Although in truth I'm sort of half-watching since I'm building community lots in my game at the same time. Below is a picture of my current set-up pretty much every evening. That's me though, always multi-tasking!

Currently reading: Just finished Loveless by Alice Oseman, which was the last book in my obsessive binge-reading marathon of everything Alice has written. I just love her characters. They are the real people who hardly ever (if not never) get to see themselves represented in books. Representation is so important and I love how Alice does this. An additional detail I adore in her books is how characters from one book often make sneaky cameo appearances in others. I'm a huge fan of intentional details and continuity, so this is right up my street.

Now I have no more Alice Oseman books to read, and cried in a corner for a while, I am now ready for a new author to binge-read. Just need to find the right one.

On a completely different note, I'm also reading Smart but Scattered by Peg Dawson, which is a non-fiction book about how intelligent children (in this case, she also wrote a book catered towards adults) can struggle with everyday, mundane tasks such as completing homework or getting dressed, but also things like regulating their emotions due to poorly developed executive skills. I'm quite fascinated by the topic of executive skills on both a professional and personal level, so it's a good read, be it a rather specific one.

Fun fact about my reading: even though English is not my first language (it's Dutch), I prefer reading in English. Except obviously for books by Dutch authors, I read those in Dutch.

Current Obsession: Besides the one noted earlier, I guess my current obsession lies with my Sim characters. After being away from them for so long, it's so good to be back and finally share the stories which only lived in my head for years. I have a future storyline that keeps building up and expanding in my mind. I can't wait to tell it, but now is not the time: The characters involved aren't at that stage yet, but boy, is it a plot twist! Writing before playing is new to me, but I'm loving it so much. The author inside me is finally waking up which is such a rush, it causes me to be rather obsessed with the elaborate storylines forming in my mind. I hope that makes sense instead of making me sound very self-involved. (Which I don't think I am, I still care deeply for the ones around me too 😄)

Post-battle ft. Kairi

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