don't wanna break up again | dong sicheng
actor!dong sicheng x singer!femreader
synopsis. love and sicheng don't complement each other. despite being aware of that fact, it doesnât stop you from coming back again and again, even if your set-up consumes you. or, sicheng and you are in an on and off situationship because heâs afraid of commitment.
genre. angst, romance (if there's any LOL), situationship
warnings. excessive use of the word "manager", reader wears contacts at some point, they have UNSPOKEN FEELINGS (mainly sicheng), industry pressure, toxic relationship (i mean, situationship </3)
words. 5,882
eternal sunshine. masterlist
it started on a red carpet, where youâd been cornered by a journalist asking about your upcoming album. sicheng was standing nearby, his black suit sharp and his gaze sharper. when he glanced your way, it felt like the world shifted. later, you found yourself seated next to him at an afterparty, where the conversation flowed like an unscripted duet.
âso, do singers always write about their own heartbreaks?â he teased, a faint smirk playing on his lips.
âonly the memorable ones,â you replied, meeting his eyes with a challenge of your own and a smile that could melt the world.
you didnât know it then, but heâd leave you with more than enough material.
itâs been two weeks since that interaction youâve had with the industryâs most sought after actor. youâve heard all the good things about sicheng. how heâs shy in real life and heâs cool on camera. but you believed that that simply canât be true.Â
but you also believed heâs hot and now youâre here, composing a song while thinking about that small interaction with him. you donât know where this song would go or if this would even be published, but one thingâs for sure: no one would even know that this song is for him.Â
âthen i had this interaction iâve been thinking about for like five weeks,â your manager read your lyrics, cringing at them after. âwhat the hell is this, y/n?â
âwhat? a girl canât love or something?â you sighed, putting your ballpen down and waiting for another comment about the song youâre writing. âitâs about the guy.â
âyeah! i know itâs about the guy. and iâm pretty sure that you know that if you get tangled with him, the scandal is going to be big, right?â your manager sighed. you can tell that just by thinking about how much paperworks and apology letters you guys are gonna write, if ever, if ever you and sicheng âwouldâ have some romantic escapade, your managerâs hair would wither and heâd definitely not appreciate that.
âitâs just a song! and i donât stand a chance with that big star. heâs probably dating an a-lister actress or something,â you replied. âlike probably⌠heâs dating that lead actress of eternal sunshine! the nepo baby! yâknow⌠their chemistryâs unmatched,âÂ
âooh, yeah! iâm actually excited to watch that series because iâve seen the interviews! oh my god they look so good together,â this time, your manager sat beside you, gushing about how sicheng and his lead partner look good together and how much he thinks that eternal sunshine would be a hit.Â
ânow youâre making me sad,â you pouted, the thought of not having a chance with a big shot actor hurts you more than not winning song of the year against iu. âi even made the title track of their series based off of the story and some real life happenings in the set,â you grinned, ready to tell your manager the tea you got off of the set of eternal sunshine back when you were invited by the director.
you werenât able to see sicheng before because he had other gigs, but the rest of the cast were there, filming the other scenes that didnât require the actor.Â
âyou know, oppa, i mean⌠who am i kidding? everyone knows qian kun, right?â you started to over exaggerate, âapparently, he likes the director! and everyone in the set knows it⌠and the directorâs kinda shy about it.â
âhonestly? if the golden boy qian kun likes me? iâll marry him immediately.âÂ
âif it were you. but the director feels a bit insecure because kunâs perfect and all. but i do believe they look good together!âÂ
âand how did you get this information?â
âliu yangyang. eternal sunshineâs second male lead, the one whoâs gonna get dumped in the end,â you stopped the sentence but your manager knew youâre about to dump the biggest, scandalous tea about the man, âbut in real life, i heard he dumped dong sichengâs lead partner.âÂ
âif iâm being honest? sicheng and that nepo babyâs chemistry is better than yangyangâs and her. but i do see some reason why they would hit off.âÂ
âno, oppa. you donât get it, do you?â you sighed, âyangyang worked his ass off in this industry, the nepo baby got it because of her parents! sure, she acts well⌠but yâknow, their vision in life might be different⌠maybe thatâs why they didnât become a real couple,â
âhow about hendery? is he really handsome in person?â your manager curiously asked, âi heard heâs a real asshole.â
âdamn right, he is! that man didnât even acknowledge me nor the staff! he just went straight to the student nurse who was interning during the film to get some paracetamols iâm pretty sure he doesnât need,âÂ
âso, henderyâs hot and an asshole. got it,âÂ
âand dejun⌠we made eye contact but thatâs really it! heâs so afraid of human touch. but heâs so handsome too. even more handsome than hendery and i can feel that he treats everyone nicely, heâs just afraid of being too close,â
âyou got all these crazy juices just from one visit on the set and it was enough for you to write eternal sunshine. your talent scares me sometimes,â you canât really tell if your manager was complimenting you or is weirded out by how well you remember the facts the staff have told you during your time inside the set as well as your own perceptions of every actor in it but youâd take it positively because you do agree that eternal sunshine has some interesting talents in it.
âoh! before i forget, you know that award-winning photojournalist, right? ten lee? apparently, heâs exes with sichengâs makeup artist and his award-winning piece was a picture of her when they were still together! thatâs the kind of part i got inspired to write eternal sunshine, as well as the storyline.â
âtheyâre not together now?âÂ
âyeah, but itâs so weird because you can feel the tension and i think itâd be even weirder now because theyâre wrapping up the first season and ten has to get the interesting bits while the makeup artist has to make sure sicheng is the interesting bit.â
âi can tell that you enjoyed your time there, y/n. but you better not tell anyone these or they will be in deep trouble.â
âi know! i just had to let it out to you because i know you love those actor rumours and stuff,â you rolled your eyes to your manager, already used to him warning you about getting in trouble from time to time.Â
when he left, you immediately continued composing your song about you and sichengâs interaction, acting like it went to something even more special.Â
âi hope i can see him againâŚâ you took a deep breath, looking at the paper youâre writing on, wishing to see and talk to him again.
you heard whispers that sicheng would attend the music festival you were headlining in but you never really took it seriously, considering the busy schedules he probably have because of eternal sunshine. but deep down, you wished he would come and see you perform⌠maybe heâd talk to you again and maybe heâd be interested in you.
as the sun was setting over the vibrant landscape of the music festival, you stood at the stage, taking a deep breath before looking into the crowd. of course, you were admiring your fans who came all the way from different cities just to see you but you were also hoping to see him. and that, you did.Â
you could swore it was the most romantic thing ever because he was also looking into your eyes and when your orbs met? you saw a glint of something behind his glance⌠or maybe it was just your contacts.Â
the music started and you sang one of your greatest hits, everytime, pouring your heart and soul into performing because itâs a song that you can definitely relate to now. âi hope he remembers me,â you thought while singing, hyping the audience up to sing with you.
âwhy, oh why does god keep bringing me back to you?â you sang looking directly at sicheng whoâs also looking at you with something you canât put into words. you couldnât really tell what it is that you saw in his eyes when you were performing because heâs with his friends a bit farther on the stage but at least, you could see him.
after your performance, your manager quickly led you to your dressing room where your staff quickly went near you to take off some of the heavy makeup, replacing it with some blush and lip balm so you could comfortably watch and enjoy the festival.Â
ây/n, change into this outfit,â one of the staff said, giving you an outfit that is extremely better than the ones you have right now. you just nodded in agreement before going to the comfort room where you changed.Â
âfeel comfortable now?â your manager asked, giving you a water bottle. âi saw sicheng watching you! he looks so into your performance earlier, y/n,â he added.
you could tell he was teasing you but you didnât care. you performed your best out there because he was watching.Â
âit was just eye contact, oppa,âÂ
before your manager could respond back to you, a familiar figure towered you from behind and judging his reaction, it was the person you least expect to be in your dressing room right now.Â
âoh, sicheng! what brings you here?â
âcan i talk to y/n?â his voice was humble, gentle, and comforting. you could melt then and there when you felt his breath from your back.Â
your manager gave you a reassuring smile, patted your shoulder, before giving the room all to you and sicheng.Â
âthis is it,â you thought. the man youâve been crushing over for at least a month now, behind you. now, you guys are alone in your dressing room but you canât even try to look at him without feeling nervous.Â
âhi, y/n,â he started.Â
âsicheng! so glad to see you here! i almost thought you forgot about me,â you sheepishly blabbered. this time, you faced him.Â
and you almost died.Â
the man standing in front of you is the hottest human being ever and people around you would definitely agree if you told them that sicheng is not just a random actor. he is the actor.Â
âyou were great out there,â he smiled, âitâs one of my favorite songs of yours,â
âiâm glad you like it! i had fun writing it last year,âÂ
he leaned against the wall, looking relaxed yet attentive. âso, which one of your exes inspired you to write that?â he caught you off-guard with his teasing remark, reminding you of your first encounter with each other.
âwhatâs with you and my exes? are you interested in them?â
âiâm just curious how they fumbled someone like you,â he shot back with a charming smile.
âflattery wonât get you anywhere, sicheng,â you laughed and tried to shake off what he had just said. âsome things just donât work out, you know,â
sicheng just nodded to what you have just said, âtry it with me?âÂ
this time, you scoffed, âyouâre an actor, iâm a singer. thatâs like⌠a recipe for disaster.â
âiâd be in any disaster as long as iâm with you, y/n,â he retorted, eyes staring deeply into your orbs as he waited for your response.Â
âwhatever, sicheng,â you rolled your eyes, smiling lightly before your manager entered your dressing room again.Â
when your manager entered the room, you looked into sichengâs direction, as if to signal that his time with you is over and he took that as a sign to give you a short farewell.Â
âsee you soon, y/n,â was all he said before vanishing into the endless hallways of the festivalâs backstage.Â
your managerâs looking at you with that stupid grin on his face, âso? what happened here and why do you look like youâve seen a ghost? you got turned off or what?â
âwoah there, buddy. calm down with those questions, will you?â
but he couldnât really stop smiling from your interaction with sicheng again. afterall, these days youâve been thinking about the actor nonstop.Â
âhe wanted me to try to play the game of love with him. to be in a relationship with him, i guess?â this time, your manager smiled even wider, waiting for you to continue. âstop looking at me like a creepy man,â
âyou know what this means right, y/n?â he started, âto have one of the most popular actors talk to you after your performance,âÂ
âyeah dude, it means they want to get in my pants!â you replied annoyingly.
âor you couldâve maintained the innocent route and answered, âoh! it means heâs interested in me!ââ your manager mocked your voice to prove a point with both of his index and middle finger doing the air quote-unquote symbol.Â
âi knowâŚâ you whined, âbut what if we wonât work out? what if we end up like those songs i wrote about heartbreaks?âÂ
but your manager could only give you a reassuring tap on your shoulder, âthen write another song about it,â
your manager is actually right.Â
at this point in time, you might write another song about a heartbreak. itâs been months now, since that dressing room interaction with sicheng and after it, you found yourself entangled with the actor. in every place you never thought about, actually!Â
âstill waiting for him?â the lead actress asked you.Â
right, youâre in the filming site right now, waiting for sicheng because he told you to come to his apartment later. you decided it was better for the both of you to come at the same time so as to prevent suspicion from the public eye. afterall, your manager is already stressed when you inform him about the situation with sicheng now.
âyeah, i am. howâs the filming going?â you tried to make a short conversation with the lead actress. even though the public has said countless bad comments about her, sheâs actually nice and easygoing. and easygoing in a sense that this girl has probably never seen a bad guy in her life!Â
âsichengâs been acting grumpy nowadays. i think it has to do with his dating rumour with karina,â she started, sitting beside you. âyou know how those idol-actor rumour goes,â
you nodded. of course, you do know how those go considering youâve had countless rumours with many men, some of them you didnât know even existed. but sichengâs is different because his company keeps on pushing him to do it, telling him itâs âgoodâ publicity.Â
before you and the lead actress of eternal sunshine could continue your conversation, sicheng and yangyang came into the picture. the latter gave you a gummy smile whilst signalling the lead actress to follow him. you assumed they have made up and are now in a relationship but you could only assume, sicheng doesnât tell you stuff.Â
âletâs go,â sicheng gave you a half-smile before leading you to his van where yuta, his manager, has been waiting for the both of you.
âhello, yuta,â you greeted politely.
âhi, y/n. sorry if it took long for sicheng to wrap up tonight, itâs an important scene that the director wants to finish immediately,âÂ
âyou donât need to tell her that, hyung. y/n understands, right?â the actor looked into your direction, giving you his charming smile.Â
you smiled back, giving him the satisfaction.Â
you will definitely write a song about this.
itâs never ending, honestly. your nights with sicheng in his apartment. him cuddling you to sleep while helping you write lyrics then you begging him to spoil eternal sunshine just for the man to smirk at your pleading face before telling you to go to sleep.
itâs those nights that made you stay with what you guys have but on mornings, you would wake up alone in his bed, leaving you wondering where he might have gone.Â
on the first night he had left you alone, you waited until lunch for him to come home but he never did. you only realized that he had come to another filming site when your manager called you, worrying whereâd you went the night before. then it happened again and again, urging you to tell your manager what really is happening but you couldnât give an answer because the two of you havenât talked about what you guys have right now.Â
âitâs been hard, oppa,â you started, sighing on the way home the next morning after your encounter with sicheng and yuta last night. âi canât believe iâm letting him do this to me,â
âwhy donât you ask him about your status? you just canât keep on waking up alone in that bed if you guys have something going on,â
âi donât want to pressure sicheng, especially now when things start to get stressful in his work,â
your manager sighed in disbelief, closing his eyes in disappointment to what you have just said. âyouâre preparing for an album too, y/n. things are also stressful on your side,âÂ
âheâs an actor, he has more things to think about than what we are,âÂ
you try to convince yourself that everything is okay. his texts grew shorter, his calls less frequent. hell, he rarely invites you on set. but when heâs with you? it was like he was a different person. soft, attentive, and present. he would make you dinner and tell you youâre the prettiest thing on earth, only to be left behind the morning after.Â
mornings with sicheng are nonexistent. it made you feel used, unloved, and sad. but asking him your label is more humiliating. youâre afraid of putting things into his mouth, afraid he might lose interest in you if youâve ever asked him about the two of you.Â
youâre afraid to be too much for him.Â
but youâre only human and heâs pushing you to the edge now. youâve been overwhelmed with your recording session earlier and sicheng has not replied to any of your messages, even after you finished recordingâyour phone still had no sign of him seeing your chats and replying to you.Â
after the grueling session with your manager inside the recording studio, you immediately left him to go at sichengâs apartment, even if thereâs a risk of getting caught by paparazzis. you just canât help it now, youâre getting suffocated and confused and hurt. youâre getting every feeling you are not supposed to feel when in love.Â
you rang his doorbell for the nth time until a sleepy sicheng opened the door.Â
âdo you even care about this?â if you werenât tired and mad, you wouldâve melted at his appearance now but your voice was trembling and your legs were shaking as he left you inside his apartment.Â
âwhat kind of question is that, y/n?â his voice was sleepy but his tone was defensive.
âthe kind i have to ask because you never let me in,â now, your frustration is spilling over and your mind is not working right. âiâm always the one chasing you, sicheng! arenât you tired of running from me? havenât you thought about what i feel?âÂ
for a moment, you thought he might say something to ease the ache in your chest. instead, he sighed and turned his back on you. âthis is who i am, y/n. you agreed to be linked with someone like me in the first place. if iâm not enough for you, maybe you should leave,âÂ
the first break up was messy (like the other ones that followed). you tried to convince yourself that it was a mutual one but your manager, and everyone around you, didnât believe you.Â
you remember the way back home, your manager picking you up crying at sichengâs apartment parking lot. he bit his lip and ran his fingers through his hair before picking you up, telling you to shush and calm down but you never did. all you did that night was cry and ask your manager if you were not enough.Â
when your mind was kind of cleared, you realized that maybe distancing yourself to sicheng is for the better. afterall, you both had your careers and responsibilities. maybe being with an actor is really a disaster.Â
but the break up didnât last like how you expected it to do. a few weeks later, he showed up to your apartment, which also counts as the first time he went there, after his schedule. he didnât greet you with his calm and comforting demeanor like the first time, he was cold and unreadableâdistant but pleading.
âi shouldnât be here,â he admitted as you told him to come inside, âbut i couldnât stay away,â
and just like that, you were back in the loop. nights that felt like promises and mornings that broke you all over again.Â
âare you sure about this, y/n?â your manager oppa asked you.
âyeah! i feel him changing for the better, oppa,â you smiled brightly, eyes scanning the setlist for your upcoming concert.
âwaking up with him beside you doesnât count as change, y/n! you still havenât asked him about what you guys are!â he scolded but you avoided his glance.
the truth is, you did. you asked again. it was inside your apartment this time. it was around december, when everything felt cold outside but inside felt even colder.
your head in sichengâs lap as the both of you watched the latest episode of eternal sunshine. he was watching your reaction as kunâs character was being teased by the lead actress and hendery.Â
âsicheng,â you called.Â
âhmm?âÂ
âare you ready?â you asked. unlike the last time where you had the guts to confront him, you didnât have the courage to do so that night. you were afraid of what he had to say but you wanted to ask. you had to ask him.Â
ây/nâŚâ he started, he was caressing your hair as if to comfort you but deep inside, you know itâs his conscience eating him up, âiâm sorry,âÂ
you shouldnât have asked.Â
it was humiliating but you canât help the tears streaming down sichengâs pajamas. you were crying while still in his lap. but what made you hurt more was him, raising the volume of the television just so he couldnât hear you aching because of him.Â
you fell asleep with an achy heart that night. the day after, sicheng distanced himself from you, feeling ashamed of what he did. you guys did break up again that time but you didnât have the guts to tell your manager because, like what you expected, the both of you reconciled again.Â
and then broke up, once more.
when eternal sunshineâs director invited you to the set again, you were hesitant to come but your manager encouraged you to do so, saying something along the lines of âface your fearsâ or something.Â
âhello, y/n! long time no see!â the director beamed at your presence, âi told sicheng to bring you here anytime but he never did! your presence is missed deeply,âÂ
âoh⌠we kinda broke up,â you sheepishly said, the atmosphere now awkward. before the director could apologize, you quickly added âitâs not like thereâs something to âbreakâ âcause there was never an us in the first place⌠but yâknow,â
she gave you a sad smile, âit didnât work out, huh?â
âhe didnât work it out with me,âÂ
it was true. you tried your best to understand sicheng but every break up you guys had also made him even distant. sure, he was better than the first oneâhe would kiss your cheek, make you dinner and breakfast but everything felt empty. as if he was doing all those stuff to keep you to stay.Â
âanyways,â the director cleared her throat, âi called you here because i wanted to talk about the album youâre doing for season 1 and 2. i assume your manager has told you to have it finished by the exact time the last episode of season 1 airs?âÂ
you nodded. even during the second break up that your manager didnât know, he made you aware of the album situation with eternal sunshine. the ost you made became a hit that everyone is demanding another song from you for the series however, both parties agreed that an album would be beneficial for you and the drama.Â
you couldnât say no to your manager, especially when he looked so ecstatic telling you about the opportunity. music was your escape, but during those times it was tying you even closer to the man you couldnât let go of.Â
making an album for the drama also includes you visiting the set just so you could get the vibes, to make it as close to the characters as possible.Â
ây/n-ssi! dejun made cookies and he said this is for you,â qian kun warmly acknowledged your presence before giving you the cookies dejun had made, âhe said itâs for you. he hopes that he can cheer you up with these,âÂ
âoh, thank you, kun! i hope to see him next time to give thanks personally,â you gladly accepted the cookies and yangyang joined in your conversation.Â
âthat wonât happen, noona! dejun always disappears after his scenes so heâs not really close to anyone except the cast,â yangyang butted in, picking a cookie from your stash. âyum!âÂ
âyangyang!â kun tried to scold the younger man but he already dashed off to where the director was, discussing the next scene.Â
âhave you tried to make a move on the director yet, kun?â you teased, knowing that he had been trying to make a move, itâs just that the director keeps on dodging his advances.
âtrust me, y/n. iâve been trying,â he sounded so helpless you almost saw you in him, when you were still a mess. âheâs coming,âÂ
kun warned you but it couldnât prepare you to see sicheng again, after a month. you vividly remember that time when you guys reconciled but called it off again after a week. this is the first time youâre seeing him again as you were determined to not meet him when visiting the filming site.Â
âlong time no see, y/n-ssi,â
and it hurt you more than the break ups you had with him.
the album, also titled eternal sunshine, became your most personal work. each track was a piece of your heart laid bare as well as the castâs personal stories they had disclosed to you, but one song in particular, donât wanna break up again, resonated louder than the rest. it was raw. it was everything you wanted to say put into a song. every lyric was a plea you canât say aloud.Â
when the album was released alongside the last episodes of the series, it was an instant hit. interviews came pouring in, but the questions were never just about the music. everyone wanted to know who the music was for.
âso, y/n! itâs been so long!â the host greeted you, âthe song, donât wanna break up again, is incredibly emotional! everyone was hooked! can you possibly tell us what inspired you to write such a heart wrenching song?âÂ
you hesitated for a moment, your chest tightening. a particular name was aching to be let out by your mouth but you swallowed it down. you smiled forcefully, like what the management had trained you before when you were still a trainee. âitâs about loving someone who pushes you into your limit, thinking youâre too much for them,â you said every word carefully, âthat even though theyâre making you feel all the bad stuff, you still hold onto themâlike a cycle of losing and wanting,âÂ
âsounds personal,â the interviewer teased, wanting to pry just a little more. âis it based on your own experience?â
your throat felt dry, but you gracefully replied, âi think itâs fitting for eternal sunshine, actually! but i think everyoneâs been through something like that,âÂ
but not everyone had a sicheng. not everyone had nights where love was promised and mornings where it shattered into pieces.Â
the thing you have been dreading to happen, happened. your fans caught up to everything. the media caught up.Â
the speculation began online after the wrapping up press conference of the cast where they were singing your albumâs tracks. the part where they were singing donât wanna break up again trended like wildfire that everyone talked about for weeks⌠because they were singing it straight into sichengâs face.
clues were pieced together. from your social media posts, sichengâs cryptic interviews, to his unusual behavior while everyone was singing your song.Â
to your fans, it made total sense. this was your most personal album and everything you and sicheng had been saying on your separate interviews during the âplottedâ timeline, as what they have been saying on x, connected with each other.Â
âGUYS! do you remember when sicheng was wearing a hoodie oddly similar to y/nâs and then us finding out it was custom-made?â one fan tweeted, garnering thousands of likes. ââwe both know this time, so we say goodbyeâ y/n REALLY got in the studio, wrote THIS, and thought we wouldnât figure it out. sis, you played yourself,â another one butted in. ââthis situationship has to end but i just can't refuseâ i KNOW this line has sicheng pacing around his living room rn. heâs probably listening to it on repeat like the rest of us but for HIM itâs personal.â
âthis is bad, y/n! everyoneâs linking you to sicheng,â stress is an understatement if you were to describe your manager right now, answering calls and texts here and there.
âif this was months ago, i wouldâve loved all of these, wonât i?â you teased, remembering the time you imagined your managerâs hair withering from the stress a dating scandal with sicheng would bring him, not thinking it would become real.Â
soon, you and sicheng became a hot topic together, with the netizens creating video edits pairing scenes from eternal sunshine with snippets of your performances. every lyric from that song of yours was scrutinized, with donât wanna break up again becoming the anthem of the speculation.Â
it was only a matter of time a fearless journalist popped the question, âyour fans are convinced that the song is about a certain actor. do you have any comments on that?â
that wasnât part of the question list they have submitted on your management prior to this interview so you were taken a back. you looked at the side to see your managerâs eyebrows knitted together, completely disappointed to the journalist. âi think art speaks for itself, itâs up for the listener to interpret it,â you replied, giving the journalist a kind smile.Â
âbut doesnât it make you uncomfortable, knowing that everyone is connecting your song to someone specific?â it seems like a kind smile wonât falter this journalistâs pressing questions.Â
âheartbreak is universal. the details donât matter as much as the emotions,âÂ
behind close doors, however, the attention was harder to ignore. your team advised you to avoid addressing the rumours and apologized for the inconvenience the journalist had caused earlier.Â
âitâs fine, itâs not like everyone expected for that to happen,â brushing off their concern.
despite the media buzzing over the possible âbiggestâ dating rumour ever in the industry, sicheng and his management remained silent. it stung you deeply, for him, someone you loved dearly, to not go against his management rules and defend you. but whatâs there for him to defend about?Â
his management, so quick to fabricate a public romance with karina to boost his movie, now met the storm with a calculated indifference. no denial, no defenseâjust the old school silence, hoping it will die down after a day or so. as if you were just a fleeting rumour unworthy of their acknowledgement.Â
sadly, the buzz grew when photos surfaced of the two of you entering sichengâs apartment. you think it was that night when you were overwhelmed with everything that you just stormed out of your recording booth to ask him. thankfully, the photo didnât show you and sichengâs face but with the silhouette? it was clear that it was the both of you.
one evening, after another press junket, you found yourself face-to-face with sichang again. heâd been avoiding you per his managementâs request but here he is, leaning against the wall of your dressing room.Â
it was like the first meeting again. when he asked you out.
âthe album,â he started. his voice was softer than you expected, making you remember the nights where heâd sing to you, âitâs beautiful,â
you forced a smile, âthank you,â your tone was neutral, âi guess heartbreak makes good music,â
his jaw tightened, âyou think i donât know?â
this time, you tried your best not to let out a sarcastic laugh, âdo you?â you were challenging him, stepping closer to feel his aura deteriorating, âbecause you made sure it never stops,âÂ
for a moment, sicheng didnât say anything and you thought heâd run away from you again. then, quietly, âi never wanted to hurt you, y/n,â
âbut you did, sicheng!â your voice was full of ache, âand you kept on doing it. every time, sicheng⌠i think iâve moved on and then you pull me back in. i thought you were getting better but you didnât. i thought i was too much for asking what we had, you know? you made me feel bad for demanding things that shouldnât been demanded in the first place,âÂ
he tried to touch your cheek, noticing a tear falling down your eye but you stepped back, âiâm sorry, y/n,âÂ
you shook your head, âjust stop, sicheng. please?â
the final break up, or the closure (like what your manager likes to call it), wasnât loud or dramatic. it was quiet, mature, and comforting. it was like a song fading out. the first weeks, he kept on calling, begging you to stay by his side but you know that if you did, youâll be back in the cycle that favors him the most, the type where you lose yourself in the process.Â
so, you stopped answering his calls and eventually, he stopped making them.Â
the world never really moved on from you and sicheng but the speculations died down. in the end, your album and the seriesâ excellence were praised by everyone without bringing up the scandalous romantic escapade you had with sicheng.Â
late at night, when you stared out at the city lights, the memories still lingered, soft yet cutting. despite knowing how disastrous it was to love him, you had returned again and again, hoping for something more⌠something that he wasnât ready to give you despite him telling you to try it with him.Â
and in the end, you let him slip through your fingers, even as your heart begged you to hold on just one more time. because beneath the longing for his touch and warmth, you know it had to end at some point.Â
COMING UP NEXT.  âyangyang worked his ass off in this industry, the nepo baby got it because of her parents! sure, she acts well⌠but yâknow, their vision in life might be different⌠maybe thatâs why they didnât become a real couple,â











