The Kriegsmarine’s Bright Idea: Put a Guy in a Torpedo
Okay, picture this: it’s WWII, Germany is desperate, and someone in the Kriegsmarine says, “Hey, what if… we put a guy in a torpedo?”
And thus, the Marder was born. Technically, it’s two torpedoes stacked together. The top one? Hollowed out for a pilot. The bottom one? Still a live explosive. The idea was: sneak up, aim, drop the bottom torpedo, then turn around and cruise back to base like nothing happened.
Except… reality check:
Visibility = trash.
Maneuverability = worse than your aunt’s old minivan.
Oxygen tanks = fogged up or poisoned you.
CO₂ buildup = dizziness, nausea, “oops I passed out in my underwater coffin.”
Survival rate? About 1 in 10. So yeah, not “technically” a suicide weapon… but in practice? Suicide mission vibes all the way down.
On August 2, 1944, the Germans launched 58 of these death tubes against Allied shipping off the landing beaches of Normandy. They sank a destroyer (HMS Quorn) and a minesweeper (HMS Gairsay). But they lost 41 Marders (and almost every pilot). Basically: a catastrophic K/D ratio.
Fun twist: one of these little subs sat in Mare Island Naval Shipyard’s Alden Park (Vallejo, CA) for decades with a plaque calling it a “Japanese suicide submarine.” In the 1980s, two shipyard workers finally ID’d it correctly as a German Marder. (Honestly, the mistake made sense—it felt like a kamikaze craft, even if it wasn’t designed that way.)
Now it’s corroding in storage, no restoration plans in sight. A relic of a war where desperation literally meant strapping young sailors into torpedo tubes and hoping for the best.
Would you climb inside one of these? Or nope-nope-nope your way back to shore?
Here’s a short period video if you want the full story of these desperate submarines: https://www.youtube.com/watch?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAYnJpZBExWEt6RlFpdVh1NWR3VlpzdwEeOz8pAYkvY0KLNTG3ESNNwvjkAdhaXa2DmW4Ls454Zn_ICk6Lyq2vc9eC8Do_aem_9uxlssDDaU_oXdSi2esD1w&v=Ck735Ql4d3c&feature=youtu.be
Dennis Kelly
German Marder miniature submarine and torpedo when it was on display in Mare Island’s Alden Park
Complete Marder miniature submarine and torpedo on display in German Museum. Perspex dome can be seen over the hatch.
World War II photo showing a Marder about to be launched.
