#weightloss rant

Here’s a picture of me before & after getting the excess skin on my stomach removed aka “abdominalplasty” or “tummy tuck” you can see I had a lot of skin bulging inside my undies and how now it’s all flat. Of course that’s me posing. My inner thighs on my legs still sag and I’m still swollen and bloated, and if I pulled that sports bra just a little bit up you can see the empty saggy skin bags I have under my chest.However you can already see the amazing changes. I wish nobody would have to go through all these excess skin removal surgeries after weightloss :( weightloss is already very mentally and physically challenging and I wish you could all be happy in your own skin after kicking ass and putting in all that effort, but unfortunately it’s not the way it works when you lose more than half the person you were. My surgeon told me to see it this way “it’s like you were wearing a large dress and “you” the person inside it changes, but the dress stays the same size, and that dress is your excess skin” I did not gain all that weight in a day, I definitely did not lose all that weight in a day, and I know I can’t get rid of all that excess skin in a day either. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m not where I used to be and I remember how much I looked forward to this moment of getting that excess skin on my stomach removed.. but instead of enjoying the moment and appreciating that it’s gone, I’m so busy focusing on the little details that are still pending. I used to look forward to this moment I will try to embrace it. 💗 I must learn to embrace and have patience for things that I can’t control.

WEIGHTLOSS how the fuck to accomplish it. I'm at a loss with it. I fluctuate between 190-205. I have a fairly healthy diet. I eat many veggies, moderate fruit, and lots of protein. I substitute pasta and rice with shirataki noodles or cauliflower or zucchini etc. Rarely I'll have no more than a cup of steamed rice or a quarter cup of whole grain noodles with something. My portions are 1-1.5 cups. I don't snack. I don't eat candy or sweets minus the occasional frozen cookie dough(3 mini cookie worth). My only real bad diet choice is I like having a rather large glass of wine a few times a week. I don't drink enough water but I've been tracking that and trying to improve, and I don't get enough sleep but I have trouble sleeping always have. My digestive system hates me and is always upset but that's probably due to anxiety issues. But I watch what I eat and I am generally thoughtful on my diet. Still find my self on this shitty yoyo battle. MEANWHILE my boy friend naps constantly. Lives out of vending machines and carb heavy meals. Will eat a whole plate then a bowl of cereal then icecream and some how loses weight (-__-) BASTARD ahahah But seriously its always been difficult for me on my weight, and no ones taken me serious on it. And too many times I just say fuck it and give up and regret it later.

You can actually fit into a smaller size pair of jeans!! Lately size 14 jeans have been feeling loose so I tried on two pairs of size 12 jeans that I had bought for motivation to lose weight AND THEY FIT!! When I purchased them I couldn't button them up but I was determined to fit into them AND NOW THEY FIT!! Nuemerically I've lost like 5pounds which seem like nothing BUT I CAN FINALLY FIT INTO A SMALLER SIZE!! I FEEL FREAKIN AWESOME & HAVE WAY MORE MOTAVATION THAN BEFORE!!

black is slimming. Thank god for small favors.