#weasel hammer

● being friends with them WAY before Wade’s diagnosis ● being friends with only one of them until he introduced you to the other one ● hanging out at Sister Margaret’s all the time ● helping out around the bar all the time, your help ranging from bartending to bookkeeping ● when you’re not at the bar, the three of you are off kicking ass or playing video games for hours ● you accidentally get them into musical theater so you’re all lowkey musical nerds ● Heathers The Musical is Wade’s favourite (because what says Deadpool more than sex, musicals, triple homicide, and more sex?) ● you set “Blue” as his ringtone because it’s the most Wade thing you can think of ● Weasel laughs when he first hears it and realizes who’s calling you ● he calls you to see what his ringtone is and blushes when he finds out that it’s “Dead Girl Walking” ● he hangs up as soon as he recognizes the song ● he blushes even harder when he remembers that the song features lines such as “I’ve decided I must ride you til I break you” and “Slap me, pull my hair. Touch me there, and there, and there” ● you’re either blunt as hell, or shy and secretive about your crush on Weasel. There is no in between ● Wade’s the only one who knows about it and teases you constantly ● you get your revenge by teasing him about Vanessa ● you and Weasel tease him relentlessly but you’re secretly so happy for him ● Wade tells both of you about his cancer at the same time and no one can say anything after he breaks the news. You’re too upset to speak so you resort to sadly sharing a whiskey bottle between the three of you ● when Wade disappears to go “get treatment”, you get stressed as hell and worry about him to the point where you’re almost in tears ● Weasel tries to comfort you but he’s lowkey freaking out too ● you both tackle Wade in a bear hug when he comes back ● you smack Weasel’s arm when he makes comments about Wade’s new face but you can’t help but make a few comments of your own ● helping Wade make his suit, and keeping him organized about his revenge and everything ● becoming super good friends with Dopinder, getting a ride whenever you want in exchange for advice about Gita ● trying to distract Colossus so he’ll leave Wade alone long enough to at least punch Francis in the face ● Francis flirts with you when he shows up at Sister Margaret’s looking for Wade. Everyone in the room is visibly uncomfortable ● when Wade goes to face off against Francis, you insist on going with and helping him ● swallowing your pride and kissing Weasel right before you leave ● Al, who you’re kinda friends with, high fives you as you walk out the door ● helping Wade, Colossus and Nega kick ass, and helping Vanessa get out of the chamber while Wade fights ● spitting on Francis’ corpse in a burst of confidence, adding a feisty “That’s for what you did to my friends, cocksucker” ● ushering Nega and Colossus back towards the street so Wade and Vanessa can have their moment ● when you get back, Weasel kisses you in relief and asks you out for dinner “or something” ● just having a weird, but genuinely happy and caring relationship with both of them which results in a happy ending for everyone