Hello, Tumblr. As you can see above, Iāve started making videos again. Hopefully I can maintain this momentum!Ā
In the video, I mention that the reason Iād had stopped making videos was due in part to poor mental health, and I wanted to expand on that statement.Ā
After returning from VidCon last summer, I was trying to figure out how to put together my next video. Iād gathered a lot of footage from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter but hardly any footage from VidCon, and I was trying to determine how to piece those experiences together into some sort of travel vlog. One idea was to ask VidCon friends to share their footage (with due credit, of course) so I could piece together a complete story. While I was hemming and hawwing about how to craft the perfect story, I came across other peopleās astonishingly beautiful and well-edited VidCon recaps, and my ambition to make the best video ever grew. The problem with ambition, however, is that you reach a point where what you want is not realistically within your grasp, and not being able to find a path toward that goal can be terribly discouraging.
Around that time Hank and John had put out job openings for Complexly, their video production company. As someone who has wanted to work for Complexly since before it was called Complexly, I jumped at the chance to apply. In the last two years Iād put myself through video production school to make sure I had the skills they were looking for, and damn it if I wasnāt going to at least try to get an interview. Over the next couple weeks I was the most stressed out and anxious Iād ever been. I wanted this job so bad for so long, and everything else (video making included) got put on the back burner.Ā
I eventually learned that the job had been filled, and to say that I was disappointed was an understatement. I ruminated on all the things I could have done differently: Was my cover letter too formal? Was my resume enough? Should I have sent an email to everyone I knew at Complexly to ask for an interview? Would that have been too pushy? Ā
Iād experienced a setback, and I wasnāt sure how to handle it. I wasnāt feeling very creative, and so my travel footage stayed on my hard drive, collecting dust. If youāre a creative, you know that not being able to create is like not being able to breathe. I was low on oxygen, and I didnāt know how I was going to take my next breath.Ā
And then I got a burst of fresh air, in the form of my friend @high-waistedpantaloonsĀ (Liz). Sheād reached out to me to ask if I still wanted to work on The Road to Nerdfighteria, an idea for a project sheād mentioned when we met at VidCon. I had been largely incommunicado since the setback, and she was checking in to see if I was still interested in the project. I didnāt know that since VidCon, the rest of the group had forged ahead and made some serious progress on the project. After being briefed on the progress, I could see that this project had lots of potential, and that excited me. I still wasnāt feeling creative enough to make my own videos, but here was an opportunity to flex those creative muscles on something different.Ā
And just like Nerdfighteria was there for me when I needed a creative outlet, The Road to Nerdfighteria was there to breathe new life into my creative endeavors. I got lots of opportunities to play with After Effects, work with a team of enthusiastic and passionate people, and collaborate on the various ways to grow our project, which is in itself a uniquely creative process.Ā
The Road to Nerdfighteria has been ongoing for four months now. Itās a well-oiled machine, and Iām grateful for all the opportunities itās given me. However, until recently I hadnāt been making videos for me, and while it wasnāt an issue at the beginning of the project, lately Iāve been feeling stale in my creativity.Ā
This became incredibly apparent to me around Christmas. I was coming off a Project for Awesome high (in which I made a video that John featured on the livestream), and I wanted to make something fun. Last year Iād made a Star Wars-themed digital Christmas card, and this year I wanted to top it. I decided on Harry Potter because Fantastic Beasts had just come out.Ā
One DIY Pinterest wand and several hours later, I made my little Harry Potter digital Christmas card, which a lot of people seemed to like. The positive reception was a bonus, but Iād really made the video for me. It was different, it was challenging, and I was having fun. It was clear to me that I needed to come back to making videos. This is where Iām happiest.Ā
Iāve been out of the vlogging game for so long that I know Iāll be rusty, but I appreciate you sticking with me as I find my way through. Balancing video making with The Road to Nerdfighteria and all my other real life obligations will be a challenge, but Iām ready for it. I wasnāt ready before, but Iām ready now.Ā
Thanks for reading, Tumblr. x












