#we regret

Took awhile but I finally got a new chapter completed and uploaded. I always thing I'm getting toward the end, but the chapters sort of keep expanding. I have two big set pieces and then, I think I’m done though I might pick up after the war ends. I’ll just have to see. Anyway, you ca find the new chapter here.

Do you worry that I’ll die for you? Your last one offered to, didn’t she? A poison love and a misfire devotion, and the bullet pierced so much nothing. Can I help you by saying that I am not her?

I am not going to die for you. I do not want to die for you. When they come calling, all cloaks and rage, I’m going to hide and run and remember your love as I tear it out of my skin.

I refuse to become your messy bits. I refuse to become your collateral damage. I refuse to be scar tissue and rot.

When we danced to Goodbye June and I laughed at myself and you laughed at me too, and there was so much smoke I could barely see you. That is what people call alive. A life. When you chased me at the edge of the water and I tripped over my own feet before either of us even started running. When I cried and ran from the monster at the end of my bed, and you punched a wall. When we talked about sleeping without a pillow. When we talked about red wine. When we talked about whether compasses were discovered or invented.

They call it Love. I believe love doesn’t exist. I don’t believe in the shape of hearts the way they tell us. I believe my heart is a middle puzzle piece, all four sides ready to match to another, until all of us are tangled up in this inescapable two dimensional bliss. I don’t believe love made me happy like you did. Why should I credit love for what my puzzle piece heart did?

RULES: Share the last line you wrote for your WIP, and then tag as many people as there are words.

I was tagged by @paintedmagpie so here goes, last sentence I wrote.

Little faster update this time. Not being able to ride after a surgery has left me with more time for words. Anyway, here is the update.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29914020/chapters/118445989

It took awhile -- I have had a ton of work and 2 horses but I was finally able to finish the new chapter that has Kallus and Thrawn’s final meeting. You can read it here:

So I finally got to have Kallus and Mon Mothma have a private conversation in the latest chapter. Also Kallus loses his cool in a big way. You can find the latest chapter here: