#waveringloyalty

He's glad no one he knows is there to see him so distraught, but if they were, they'd probably understand it's with good reason.

Cissnei's been in that room for well over two hours now, and he'd kill to be with her but she insisted that he not be there—just in case of the worst happening, and he understood her fears but now he was left with a set of his own. He tries to think about good things, so he doesn't worry. They decided on pale yellow for the room. He's been devouring books more than tea lately. They're looking at a house, instead of Sephiroth's apartment, though there's space enough for now.

But he's separated from her, and he can't see or know what's happening, only every now and then hears a muffled cry, knows it's his wife, knows she's hurting and it hurts him, too.

          ⁂`•.¸¸.•´´¯ •• .¸¸ Sometimes, the gods were very benevolent in regards to their children. They swept in to bring joy and good will to their chosen, watching them as they rose up to the stars.

♗ : Child!Character my muse would adopt.

I— I want to try again.

Dear girlfriend fiancée,

We've come a long way these past couple of years, haven't we?

From friends to lovers to being engaged. It's incredible to look back and see how quickly time goes by when you're with people you love, and of course, I love you more than anything in the world—so these days have been a whirlwind of you, filling my life with joy.

It seems like the first time I kissed you, I knew that we would be walking down this road together. Somehow, I feel like I knew forever that you would be the one for me, like all my life before (so obscured by an isolated childhood and unforgiving military adolescence) I was only waiting for you. And now that you're here, I'm learning more and more every day, about how to be complete with you and about how to love you. The world seems so much larger now, with such infinite possibility.

Life for me is no longer just the Shin-Ra grounds, the SOLDIER compound. Life is our absence from each other on mission, and our reunion afterward. Life is talking with you about decorating the house. Life is eating dinner with you, sleeping beside you every night that I can. Life is planning the wedding, life is talking about someday having children, life is your name which is ours only to know. Life is learning from Angeal's mother how to cook, it's the ring hanging from a chain around your neck, it's the thought of you on my mind every waking second and the smile you give me. Life is you and me.

I can never, ever fully express just how much you mean to me, Cissnei. I don't know that there could ever be a more beautiful, more perfect woman than you, and though it might be arrogant to say I hope I'm the same in your eyes—I hope you love me this much, as well, and I know you're not a woman of many words, but each time you say 'Sephiroth' it sounds like a new word to me, foreign and fantastic, it sounds like it has meaning.

I can't wait to marry you. I can't wait for the rest of my days, can't wait to cherish you in each and every one of them, I can't wait for the rest of the I love yous that I'll get to say and to hear, because my existence was so devoid of them before you came along.

You're precious to me, do you know that? All the gil in the world, all the most prized materia, all the blue of the sky and depths of the oceans could never measure up to the presence of you in my heart.