anyway. originally it was going to be a few scenes of harry and ginny communicating in different ways. there was going to be a talking in the flames bit, a-la sirius, here is the starter bit for that:

Ginny felt like someone had set her throat on fire. “Fuck!” she coughed, looking up at Harry who looked half concerned, half amused.

“We don’t have to do this.”

“Mum’s just seen the phone bill,” Ginny coughed and physically felt soot go up her nose, “She thought this whole time calls were free.”

anyway this went nowhere, because i was too preoccupied with harry and ginny flirting on the phone. such is life. the hard bit was figuring out why they would be calling in the first place, but harry was always in australia with andromeda, and once i had it that magic was far away from his life at that moment, that he hardly used it, it made more sense

also, he had the phone installed for a joke, and then she used it as a joke and then that was how they talked, or however i wrote that line. the point was, i liked that it rooted back to everything they did being, really, to make the other person laugh. they talk on the phone for a year and a half as one long bit.

the file on my computer is called 'wow what' which is how i felt when writing it

unbelievable ammount of googling went into figuring out whether its called 'english breakfast' tea in england like it is here in nz, and i still have no idea.

i had the first two scenes: ginny & harry joking about rons mostashe, harrys explaination as to why he was in aus, and then the joking in the post office, written for ages. a year or more, because i had no idea what to do with them or where to go

and then i thought of 'i really dont want to die. i really don't want to die and miss out on you' which is so harry about ginny it was obvious, and i knew i had to keep writing to make that moment hit how i wanted

'it makes sense, he's never been anywhere he wasn't hunted too' was another line i liked and had to find a way to use. that poor boy!!

there were 800 versions of this:

Andromeda sat on a towel by the dunes under an enormous hat, tears running down her face, abruptly laughing when Teddy tried to eat sand or fell over a sandcastle. Harry knew how she felt. Impossible, how two years ago Teddy had two living parents and Harry had been seventeen, dead and walking, and now they were sat on the beach, people they loved dead for real, as Harry and Teddy lined up shells on the shore.

here's one:

Andromeda sat on a beach towel in a big hat, crying and smiling, and Harry knew how she felt. It was crazy, how two years ago Teddy hadn’t existed at all and how many people were still living and now lots of them weren’t and Teddy was here, trying to eat sand, watching Harry line seashells up in a row.

this one i almost used:

Impossible, how two years ago he’d been seventeen, dead and walking, and now he was here with the sun for miles, more people dead than he could count, lining shells up with Teddy on the shore. He couldn’t picture Remus on the beach, he’d never seen him on one before.

but i knew i couldn't have that (that horrible image, never seeing remus on the beach, never seeing him ever really be at ease) and have this stuff later, which i liked more:

Teddy turned two and Andromeda make him a cake by hand with a spider on it that moved. He blew out the candles and looked bemused, sat in a top Hermione had sent, still holding onto a scrap of ribbon. Harry took him outside and sat him on his Nimbus Seven Series, entirely too long, and Teddy did slow circles while Harry held the end, watching him laugh, tiny hands grasping the handle. Suddenly, like being thrown through a window, Remus was in front of him, standing in the Hogwarts Hallway, breathless and happy, saying his sons name.

i actually had a whole bunch of ideas i wanted to work through in this. the main one is like 400 different horrible things happened to this kid, and now he just has to go on and be a person. all this horrible shit happens, and he still has to make lunch everyday. that's what i wanted this to be about, the making lunch. the everyday stuff even while you know horror like that

that's what the bit about him forgetting sirius is dying is about. he forgot! for a second he forgot, he saw a big dog, and he thought it was his godfather. also, because i wrote down The memory looped in his brain, how Sirius’ name had risen in his throat, how odd it felt there, how long it had been since he’d said it aloud. and got so sad i had to stop working, so i knew i had to include it

i didnt really like eleanor and park when i read it, god, like seven or eigh years ago, but i have always liked the line "You're my favourite person of all time, I want everyone to met you" which very clearly inspired this:

Harry grinned, “You’re brilliant, I’m hanging my copy on the front door, framed.”

“The moving logo may cause problems for the muggles”

“Who cares? I want to tell everyone about this. Chaser for the Harpies–“

speaking of, this bit:

“Do you want– if you want, we could take a break-“

“No” Harry said, so fast, “No, no I don’t want that. Do you want that?”

“No. No. I just– I don’t want this to be difficult. I don’t want you to feel, like– obligated. If you want like room away from everything I get it. Just tell me– I don’t want– Just tell me.”

Harry’s heart was going into his chest like an endlessly slamming door. How to explain it? You wouldn’t believe the space here, all this room, all this time I have. I didn’t think I’d get it. I want space but never from you.

heavily heavily inspired, almost nicked really, from these howard moss lines:

Pleasures, complacencies, Are habits remaining serviceable. I am tired, yes. But not of you.

the diner summary ron writes is also inspired by the bus trip in adrian mole book, which are the funniest three pages in all of literature, full on not kidding

all of rons letters were written quite late actually, because by the time i realised how big i wanted this to be i knew that ron and hermione had to be there, only i sort of dread writing them. their dynamic is hard to get and i'm always wary of writing canon characters we have so much time with in the books. but i think the letters were a good split difference, they're there but they're not there, which is kind of how harry feels. they're far but not far

wrote this a hundred years ago, before i even started writing for them again, and had no where for it, and then it ended up here

“You like me.” Ginny said, not really serious but also deadly so.

Harry smiled, said dryly, “What gave me away?”

also so harry deciding to go home to england looks like this right:

He was walking back to the car from the post office one day, Teddy plodding beside him infatuated with a passing goose, with Ginny’s voice still swimming around him, the sound of Ron telling her to shut up, pass the receiver, I’ve got to tell him the Cannons score, and he walked into the travel agents and booked one-way ticket to England for next week. Just like that.

Stupid, really, how he heard their voices all the time (walking in the street, making a sandwich, fixing the plumbing) but had never made the connection. He was in the street like always, hearing the call all again, and thought I wish they were here for real, and then walked into the air-conditioning and pulled out his chequebook. It really was that easy. The goose was still outside when he left holding his ticket, Teddy squirming to get closer to it with a full-on beak that Harry was trying to hide with one hand.

but for a minute it looked like this:

It was stupid, some unspoken rule that no one from England had ever visited (hes never been anywhere he wasn’t hunted too) so a year passed without him seeing anyone he loved, except Teddy and Andromeda, in person. It was like they had all agreed silently to give him physical space but write and talk so often he could almost hear them in every room. Driving to the post office and he could hear Ginny’s voice, Ron's scoff, Hermione's laugh

He has this dream when he walks into the kitchen and theyre all standing there, Hermione sitting at the counter with a tea, Ron leaning against the counter eating a biscuit, Ginny sat next to him next to the toaster. They looked so strange, odd, out of place, where they didn’t belong. And Harry thought I don’t want to be where they don’t look right, and, like they could hear him, they turned to look at him,

there was also this, which had no where to go and couldnt really justify its own existance:

The land was so big that Harry had to apparate to get to the post office in town to use the phone or get letters. Hermione wrote twice a week, always with instructions to send back Teddy photos, and Ron normally scrawled something on the back. Luna sent him odd smoking packages that he had to sign for once a month full of herbs of some sort, and Mr Weasley, ecstatic to have some reason to use international muggle post, sent him random Ministry memos in envelopes covered in stamps every couple of weeks.

favourite bit? changes every time i read it. i love ginny cutting potatoes and cutting herself by accident. also harry hitting the swan. also the closer, where harry realises hes about to be on a plane for hours while ginny makes fun of him. basically, i like any bit where harry potter and ginny weasley are making each other laugh