#ward x reader

he had wasted no time when the two of you entered his apartment, pressing you against the door right away and hungrily kissing you. for someone who always kept you at arm's length, despite being your boyfriend, this was odd behaviour. but you figured out right away what had gotten him so worked up.

“i didn't know… you would get this jealous~” you chuckled against his lips, during the few breaks you got. baxter was relentlessly kissing you, as if his life depended on it. or as if he'd lose you as soon as he'd let go of you…

“don't tease me.” baxter warned you, his voice raspy, as he gasped for air between kisses. yet you could see a small grin hush over his lips, causing you to push further, his warning.

“but you're so cute when you're jealous~” you grinned against his lips, only to yelp surprised, when baxter suddenly pulled you closer to him, your body crashing into his. his eyes found yours and for a moment, he just stared at you, watching a blush spread over your cheeks, before grinning amused.

“and you're cute when you're flustered.” baxter teased, before pressing another kiss onto your lips, this one more slow and gentle than the others. “but you're even cuter when you're quiet.”

you rolled your eyes amused, knowing baxter was just messing with you. your boyfriend loved to listen to you yap… just not right now. no, right now he wanted something else. and you were more than willing to play along.

“make me then.” you softly hummed, innocently batting your eyes at baxter, as if you didn't know what you were doing. but you knew. both of you did.

baxter wrapped his arms around you once more, before picking you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, as he made his way to the bedroom with you.

“say no less, darling.”

“Uhh...no. No...no that's not my...that's not what I'm saying.” Each word felt slow and clumsy as you tried to say something. Anything.

Letting out a quiet sigh, Ward's eyebrow arched high as he looked up at you. Tilting his head, he leaned back against the couch, watching as you stood in the entrance to the living room with a coffee still in each hand. “Then...what? You don't like dogs anymore?”

Finally breaking your stupor trance, you looked around for a spot to set the coffees down. Just as you lowered them to the coffee table, you eyed Charlie before setting them on the bookshelf instead. “It's just...okay, walk me through this again?”

As you sat down, Charlie came over with no hesitation. Loudly sniffing as close to your face as you'd let him, he let out a loud, decisive huff. When he continued to stare, you reached down and nestled your hand along his neck to scratch behind the German Shepherd's ear. Immediately, his jaw relaxed and his tongue lolled out as he inched himself against you.

Even through your hesitation, you couldn't deny how sweet he was. But you silently swore to yourself that you would not fall in love with him.

Ward's smile finally dropped slightly as he let out a lengthy sigh through his nose. Shifting to face you, he rubbed his thumb over his forehead before shrugging. “Walk you through what? I got a dog.”

“From where, exactly? I don't understand.” You focused hard on your words and not on Charlie, who plunked himself next to you and continued to lean against your leg.

“A friend of mine-”

You hadn't meant to purse your lips together, clearly advertising your confusion. But as he paused and frowned, you realized your face had betrayed you. Just as you were about to apologize, Ward's eyes darted down to Charlie and the wrinkle in his brow smoothed out.

“Fine. It was someone from my meetings...Anyhow, his wife works with one of the no-kill animal rescue groups and was upset because this guy had just been brought back by a third family in the last year. And...I don't know...” As he spoke, his features softened.

When he glanced up at you with his warm expression, it was impossible to try and keep a level head. It was almost as bad as looking into Charlie's face.

Dropping your stare to the coffee table, your eyes widened with frustration. “Right. And why were these families bringing him back?”

“I don't know, but not because of Charlie. It's New York, people make bad choices all the time. They all said he was a sweet dog, they just didn't have the space, or the time, or their kids got bored...” Sitting up, Ward's hair fell forward as he grumbled out what he had been told.

Charlie's ears perked as he looked over at Ward. Stopping his light panting with a quick snap of his jaw, he left your side to head back over to the couch. Resting his hand on the worried pup's shoulder's, Ward almost had to hold him down from trying to jam his nose into his face.

A chill drifted across your exposed-feeling leg.

Clasping your hands over your knees, your voice dropped into a gentler tone. “So...people got bored, didn't have much space, or were too busy...like...too busy with work maybe?”

Ward's head bobbed back as your point finally hit him in the face. “Nice, Y/n, really? I'm not like that. Charlie is family, and family is family. Period.”

Although you had seen this defensiveness before and knew it was just a step away from turning into a fight, you never expected to see it over a dog.

Keeping your voice level, you tried to stop it from escalating. "I get that. I do, and honestly, it's one of the things I love most about you. But...don't you think...I mean how often are you even home?"

“I'm here right now?”

This might be harder than you thought. But this dog deserved better than a fourth return.

“Yeah, but you're on time off, Ward. Normally, you practically live at the office. You working for sixteen hours a day isn't going to be good for Charlie.”

Burrowing his fingers through Charlie's fur, Ward shrugged. “So I won't.”

“Oh really?” Your tone lost its gentle edge and fell flat. You wanted to believe that but...

“Really. Listen, I've already been giving that some thought and so much has changed. For me. For Rand. I don't need to be there all day every day anymore. I just don't. There are more than enough competent people there to keep the daily business in order and, at most, I'm needed for a meeting or two a day.” His words came out in a rush, as though he morphed from defensiveness to a need to convince you.

At least you hoped it was just you he was trying to convince and not himself.

Before you could say anything, he pressed on. “And if I'm going to have a longer day, I can hire a dog walker. Hell, maybe even on my short days I'll have a dog walker if that's best.”

Softly shaking your head, you couldn't help your quiet snort of a chuckle. “Yeah, well it all sounds good but...”

“Because it is good. And...our days offset each other pretty well. So if you were here, actually here, then he wouldn't be alone much at all.”

Your eyes snapped to his, catching his faint grin as he paused.

“Excuse me?” It wasn't exactly the most elegant response, but your pulse spiked so suddenly, it was hard to think.

Straightening, you could practically see his usual confidence seeping back into his bones. When he continued, there was a hint of humour but his tone was firm. “I mean, why not? You're here almost all the time anyhow, so there's not much point in paying rent for a place you hardly use. Plus, I have a dog now so that's got to be a good selling point.”

Swallowing heavily, you forced a smirk, trying to at least appear somewhat relaxed. “Wow. Logic and selling points? How romant-”

“I'm happy when you're here.” As he cut you off with his simple admission, the humour dropped from his face. Charlie leaned against his knee, comfortably settling in as Ward continued to scratch behind his ear.

“And, unless I'm way off base, you're happy when you're here too,” he finished.

As much as you wanted to enjoy rush rising in your chest, you firmly clamped a lid on it. “I...it's not that I don't...”

Watching you fumble for words, Ward's eyebrows rose with muted amusement. But he didn't interrupt.

Taking a deep breath, you started again. “I am happy. And honestly, I've thought about it before. But...don't you think that's a lot of change for you right now? I know you've been through some serious shit and that you're taking a step back from work to sort yourself out...but I just don't know if changing everything about your life at once is a good idea.”

Sliding forward in his seat, he reached over and grabbed your hand as Charlie attempted to lick his arm. Cautiously, he shot you his most charming smile before nodding. “I have been taking a step back, and it didn't take long for me to see what's important. This isn't some panicked reaction to a trying last year, okay? This is just me, finally doing things the way I want to do them. I mean...assuming you want that too.”

It was a lot coming at you all at once. This new, casual and laid back version of the man you loved had you desperately trying to change gears. Which mostly sounded like screeching tires in your head as you tried to stop everything long enough to process.

Before you could fumble over your words more, Charlie's nudging against your arms grew more insistent. Finally, Ward relented with a chuckle. “Alright, pal.”

Giving your hand a final squeeze, Ward stood up and nodded towards the door. "Listen, why don't you think about it? Let's just take this guy out for a walk and not worry about anything for now, okay?"

Ward...not pushing like a headstrong bull until he immediately gets his way? Also new.

Everything still had a dreamlike quality as you watched him reach for the leash that already had its own hook by the door. The pair fell into an easy routine as Charlie stood patiently at his feet, waiting to go while Ward threw on his shoes. For something so different, it already looked so comfortable.

Nodding, you grabbed the coffees from the bookshelf and joined them.

How could you say no?

It was sunny the day you met him. You were jittery (it wasn’t easy being transferred from one state to another where everything was unfamiliar). Even the coffee seemed different, which had spilled everywhere due to your shaking hands. You hissed as the hot liquid burnt your skin and seeped through your clothes, inevitably staining your white shirt a murky brown. Quickly you placed the coffee, or what was left, down as you searched for a napkin. 

“Are you okay?”

You turned, blinking tears out of your eyes, and saw him. A young man with old eyes, hardened by his line of work. He offered you a napkin and a smile, making you feel slightly more at ease. Cheeks burning, you took the napkin with a grateful yet shy smile. Your fingers brushed his and you swore that electricity sparked between you. You stood staring at your mess, not knowing where to begin. As you subconsciously dabbed the napkin on your wet top he knelt down and cleaned the coffee off the floor. Gratitude flowed through your veins. A stranger was helping you after you had made a fool of yourself. It was a miracle really. He rose as you dried your wrists, still red from the scolding liquid. You hoped, even prayed that he didn’t notice as he quickly disposed of the now wet napkins. He brushed his calloused hands against his dress pants before he looked at you. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t int-“

He stopped when his eyes flickered down to your red hands, making you bite the inside of your cheek as you forced a smile. 

“It’s fine. I’m fine, really.”

“In my experience, burnt hands don’t usually indicate ‘fine’.”

You swallowed thickly as heat rose to your face. 

“Please, let me help. Then I promise you can get rid of me.”

You scoffed, secretly dreading the moment he leaves your side. You nodded bashfully and allowed him to lead you to a nearby first aid kit, your mind painfully aware of his hand on the small of your back. He placed just enough pressure to leave goosebumps. 

“Do you think there’s a spare pairs of clothes in there?” You half heartedly joked as he opened the red kit. He laughed as your hands fidgeted nervously in anticipation. 

“SHIELD’s prepared for anything, including coffee stained work attire. But I don’t think it’ll be in here.”

You didn’t have time to respond as he suddenly grabbed your hands, which had dulled from an angry red to a light coral. He carefully inspected your burns as you held your breath, mesmerized by his careful movements. 

“I’m Grant Ward by the way.”

“(Y/N).”

-

This was the first time in almost a year that he’d touched your hands, touched you. Yet the gesture was far from tender. His rough skin brushed against yours as he freed you from your restraints, a reminder of your imprisonment and his betrayal. Yet you foolishly let yourself feel hope, and that delicate entity was quickly crushed from the moment he spoke, causing bile to rise in the back of your throat. 

“There’s nowhere to run, unless you want to be stranded on an alien planet.”

This wasn’t the man you fell in love with, who so selflessly offered you warmth and kindness on your first day. Dark eyes ignored you as he surveyed the surroundings, but yours burnt through him. How did he become...this? You knew that the Grant Ward you first met had died a long time ago, but he still looked like him. Sounded like him. It made the ground sway beneath your feet. The alien ground on the alien planet you stood on. You yearned for the days of spilt coffee. 

Ward barked commands at his fellow Hydra brethren as your hands circled your wrists in a fluid motion, both to calm your nerves and ease the lingering pain left by the handcuffs. You weren’t supposed to be here. Your skin should not be illuminated by a blue glow, your surroundings appearing as if they were underwater. Yet somehow it was dry, so very dry. The harsh desert wind licked your exposed skin and rid your lips of any moisture. It was hard to comprehend that this was an alien planet and not the Sahara desert late at night. Was it even nightfall now? You couldn’t tell. 

Ward began his journey and you reluctantly followed. You may hate and utterly despise the man, but you wouldn’t allow yourself to get stuck on another planet with no way home. It was ironic, Ward being your way home. He used to be your home. He used to symbolize love, comfort and care. He also used to not kill people. 

As you walked your fingers brushed against a cool metal object by your side. Before it was identified, your finger slipped. You felt the skin puncture, blood slowly bursting from the wound. A hiss of breath escaped your lips, your finger stinging. Slowly, you brought the injured finger to your mouth in order to cease the bleeding. Blood, rich and salty, entered your mouth before you inspected the cut, trying to avoid Ward. The cut was no bigger than a pinprick, but it hurt nevertheless. Your other hand searched for the culprit, eventually resting upon an intricately engraved hilt. At least you knew that your dagger was sharp. 

-

“Say it.”

“Never.”

“Say it!”

“You...sunk my battleship.”

Ward’s eyes darkened in defeat, shoulders sagging as you cheered. Throwing your arms about like a child, you laughed and screamed as Ward placed a red piece of plastic on a little, grey ship. His eyes lingered on you as you threw your head back, smiling. He traced the happiness and joy written on your face, a warmth filling his chest. 

“Finally, the great Grant Ward, defeated!”

Ward rolled his eyes but hid a smile from you as you inspected your victory. It was different when you teased him. With Fitzsimmons or Skye it was always mocking. He was Grant Ward, the agent with a smoulder and a knack for knowing hundreds of bone breaking techniques. It wasn’t like that with you. He was simply Grant Ward, the man with a lot to live up to. No melodramatic, angsty voice or squinty eyes. Just Ward. 

“So, round two?”

You eyed him carefully, high on your win. After three weeks, you finally bet him. Victory was indescribably sweet, and you intended to enjoy every second. 

“What, you can’t accept defeat?”

“Oh no, I accept it. But I also challenge it.”

You scoffed as he stood and walked away, heading towards the nearby bar. He carefully poured himself a drink, the whiskey required to numb more than his injured ego. 

“Bit early for that, isn’t it?” You asked as you reset the game, a hint of concern laced in your words. 

Ward’s eyes flickered towards you before settling on his glass. He chuckled, but the sound was anything but cheerful. Now your eyes were glued to him as he swirled the golden liquor in his glass, pondering his next set of words. Yet he chose to speak none, and that was louder than any sound. 

-

You walked for what felt like hours, and time only dragged with no sun to follow. It wasn’t long before your feet began to drag against the hard sand, and your body screamed for water. Apparently Ward wasn’t aware of a hostage’s needs. By now you could swear that you made memorized every crater and hill this planet had to offer, yet the others seem convinced that they still weren’t in the right place. During your walk you heard lingering whispers of an Inhuman. They worshipped it, claiming it was ‘the’ inhuman. The very first. If you had your way, you’d rather not get entangled with the first Inhuman. It wasn’t on your bucket list. But neither was visiting an alien planet. Distracted by your thoughts, you realized that you were falling too late. Your foot hit a rock, sending you tumbling face first into the sand. With a yelp you landed harshly, arms crushed beneath you. Sand, cold and unwelcoming, entered your mouth and scratched your face. The pain was delayed to everywhere except your head, where an ugly pulsing was already beginning to bloom. You swore as you wriggled into a sitting position, groaning with the effort of bending your knees into your chest. Gingerly, you placed your fingertips on your forehead and felt a warm liquid. You swore again and battled a sudden wave of tears. The last thing you wanted to do was cry in front of your ex, especially when he is Hydra. You chose that moment to glance up, inevitably locking eyes with him. His dark eyes were cold, yet he stood only a few feet away as the rest continued on, ignoring you. 

“Wait!” He barked, eyes never leaving yours. 

The men stopped, confused by the call. 

“Five minutes, then we continue.”

No one protested the break allocated, immediately dropping their gear with an unforgiving thud. Interestingly enough, they kept their guns in their hands. Ward only continued to stare at you, and for the first time in years you prayed for a miracle. You prayed for the old Ward, the man you loved. Maybe he would offer you kindness, or at least a drink. You stared into his eyes as you sat on the cool surface, anything but comfortable. He carefully surveyed you, as if you were a piece of meat. It made you sick. Yet your heart still sunk when he turned and walked away to join his men. The pain in your head was nothing compared to your fractured heart. You picked sand from your fingernails, feeling utterly alone and hopeless. Then your prayer worked. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw movement. A shadow in the shadows. Yet you recognized the shadow. Your prayer had given you a miracle in the form of Phil Coulson. You felt too many thoughts to be confused by his presence, instead choosing to be relieved by the prospect of help, or at least a friend. Covertly, your eyes scanned the barren land for Coulson but he had already disappeared. It was probably for the best. At least one of you was free. 

“Okay, break’s over.”

Ward’s voice violently cut through the cool air, as well as your thoughts. It also sent a chill down your spine. It was only another reminder of what you had lost. 

You staggered until you managed to stand, swaying as you stood. The pain in your head only intensified, and you were introduced to a shooting pain in your knee. You huffed a hot breath of irritation, tears threatening to bloom. Would nothing go your way? The heavy thud of footsteps approached you, and your eyes met dark ones. 

“Move it. Now.” He growled before resuming his position at the front of the pack. Ward was truly gone. Yet there was still air in your lungs, and you didn’t feel as if you’d been punched in the stomach (as you usually did around him). You took a purposeful yet wobbly step when you felt it. The dagger at your side brushed your clothed skin when realization hit you. The thought had been planted long ago, all it took was a nudge from Coulson and Ward. You didn’t feel weighed down by the dagger, in fact you felt lifted. Free. 

He had chosen his path, and now you were choosing yours. 

-

No. 

It wasn’t true. 

It wasn’t true. 

It wasn’t true. 

You slapped a hand over your withering mouth, suppressing your whimpers. The beautiful printed sunset in front of you was anything but, tainted by horrid words. Words that make your heart not only sink but convulse. 

He showed you kindness. 

He laughed with you. 

He told you he loved you. 

And he was Hydra. 

You collapsed into the adjacent wall, running your spare hand through your hair. How were you such a fool, to fall in love with a man who was derived of the emotion? Your face was wet, soaked in endless fat tears. You couldn’t breathe from your broken heart and fear of being caught. An icicle pierced through your chest when you realized that he was still here. Did everyone know? Obviously someone did, but who? You hoped that you weren’t too late. 

Screwing your eyes shut, you tried to sink away from this reality. It couldn’t be true. You didn’t want it to be true. Yet the words stood as clear as day, and there was no denying the fact. They were engraved in your mind and heart forever. 

‘WARD IS HYDRA’

Distantly footsteps were approaching your room, a menacing thud that made fear hold you in an iron grip. 

“(Y/N)?”

He was coming. And you couldn’t be found here. 

Silently you took a hesitant breath and wiped your face with your sleeve. You’d have to hide until your tears stopped, you just hoped that your absence wouldn’t lead to suspicion. He was your partner after all, in more ways than one. 

You didn’t realize that your hands were shaking until you stood. In fact, your whole body was trembling. Out of habit you gripped the silver chain around your neck, the one that always grounded you. But this time you instantly let go, repulsed. The chain had been a gift from him, after your third date. The simple silver chain held a thick silver ring. 

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” he had laughed upon seeing your flushed cheeks. “It’s a family ring, and honestly I have no use for it. But I was thinking, maybe one day, you’d be my family.”

The memory made your vision go white in fury. The liar already had a family, a family that murdered innocents. 

You had allowed yourself to be played, but you wouldn’t allow yourself to become a victim. 

“(Y/N), you here?” 

He was only a few meters away now. Taking a broken breath you wiped your face one last time, praying that your face wasn’t as blotchy as it felt. You went to reply when your eyes widened: the sign. 

‘Shit.’

After a moment of panic you raced towards the door. He couldn’t come in here, he’d then know what you know. You would have to leave. The door handle was cool beneath your grasp. You couldn’t do it. But you had no choice. 

Despite your fear and disgust, you opened the door and ran straight into a solid object. You screamed, momentarily forgetting to close the door. A deep chuckle emerged from the object. It used to make your heart swell. 

“Are you okay? I was worried.”

You gulped before looking up, smiling sweetly. 

“Of course. Just needed a moment to process everything.” 

Thank God Coulson made you undergo undercover training. Ward appeared to buy your lie, and he believed that you brought his. A worried crease split his forehead in two as he smiled back, but his eyes remained dark. 

“Come on. We’ve got work to do.” He gestured for you to lead. With a nod you took off, speeding down the hall. Ward followed but only after a moment’s silence. That’s when you remembered the door, and your heart fell. In that moment, both of your lies had come undone. It was only a matter of time until you both admitted to the truth.

-

In the end, it had happened quickly.

The shadows you had seen turned out to be two, Fitz and Coulson the owners. Once you what to look for, they were easy to spot in the haze of blue. Your muscles ached in a slow burning agony while your boots continued to abuse your feet. The pain of the others, the soldiers, appeared non-existent. They forged on as you stumbled behind, a beat too slow. However, you slow pace allowed you to take in the scenery without arousing suspicion. There was nothing but dull coloured mountains crafted out of sand and the unsettling blue sky, and the shadows. Your heart stilled when one emerged and looked you dead on the eye. But you didn’t scream or run. You smiled. Coulson stood in the distance, out of sight to anyone but you. He covertly waved as you continued to walk, supressing the urge to wave back. He then signalled a thumbs up, a very professional way of asking if you were okay. In response you discreetly opened your jacket, and the knife caught light and gleamed like a silver beacon. Coulson only nodded. Knowing that you were safe, Coulson followed from a distance. Ward and his men did not suspect a thing. You kept walking. A small angel of hope was your only fuel, fluttering next to your heart.

You spotted Fitz only moments before the attack. The men had stopped on their trek, Ward suddenly filled with unease. The wind had begun to build almost theatrically, swirling particles of sand blurring the landscape. You lingered on the outskirts of the group, a fluttering pit growing in the depths of your stomach. Fitz removed himself from the shadows, but appeared to be preoccupied. That’s when you saw the other man, a stranger to you. A gasp was caught in your throat, your hand silently reaching for the dagger by your side. You heard Ward turn around behind you, but he was too late. Coulson had already begun his pursuit, and you turned around just in time to see his attack begin. The Hydra agents fell instantly, struck by Coulson’s unwavering and faultless aim. Ward’s eyes flashed in a white fury as they momentary met yours. It was then that your heart knew that he was gone, far too gone. Your Ward was dead, or soon would judging by the startling blankness in Coulson’s eyes. Before you could react Ward was thrown onto the hard, alien ground. Sand continued to swirl around the three of you as Coulson attacked Ward mercilessly, throwing punch after punch. Seeing him, your mentor, so restless and manic should have scared you. Instead, you only felt a cold wave of pity and clarity. Ward deserved this, all of it. He had hurt too many people.

Coulson was yelling at Ward, his voice getting carried away by the relentless wind. Nevertheless, you could feel the hatred and bitterness that flowed into his words. The moment playing out before you seemed fake, every one of your senses rendered useless as you watched Coulson wrestle Ward. It was an easy fight, Coulson’s gun quickly trained at Ward’s forehead. You sucked in a breath of cool air when you heard a scream that didn’t belong to you. Coulson’s eyes immediately met yours in a moment of torn panic: Fitz. You then remembered the strange man and your blood ran cold, freezing as your heart stopped. The decision was simple, and you gave Coulson a nod. He understood immediately, but hesitated.

“(Y/N), are you-“

“Go. I’ve got this.”

Coulson let out a frustrated sigh as he left, following the sound of distant gunshots and screams.

“He can smell blood, and my guess is that Fitz is bleeding. He’s already dead.”

His gaze lifted to your forehead, still sticky with blood.

“You too. Dead.”

Revulsion made you choke at Ward’s words. Coulson heard him too, and stopped dead. Time seemed to stop as you waited for someone to talk, to move, to do something. Coulson moved faster than a lightening strike. A satisfying crack proceeded a groan as Coulson’s gun collided with Ward’s nose, who lay sprawled out on the planet’s surface.

“And now you’re bleeding.” Coulson spat before he walked away for good.

You watched him saunter into the storm of dust and sand before you finally faced him. He was as helpless as a child, clutching his broken nose. Red, appearing midnight in the blue hue that the planet seemed to harbor, stained his face and chin, dripping onto his clothes. Sand crutched underneath your boots as you walked over to his crumbled body, one step at a time. His eyes flickered to you, glinting with humour despite the gruesome state of his nose. You stopped in front of him, your boots centimetres away from his. You couldn’t speak, your throat involuntarily clenching. Instead, you settled for what you hoped was a cold, empty glare.

“Hello, darling.” Ward mocked, wincing as he spoke.

You chuckled darkly. “Haven’t heard that in a while.”

There was a bitterness to your words, not an easy comfortable passing of words that exes were stereotypically known to exchange. No, this discourse was full of venom and hatred.

Ward’s eyes darkened, matching your emotionless stare as you placed a hand to your hip. Slowly, you revealed your concealed weapon. The hilt’s engraving was familiar and smooth against your palm. Once again, the sharpness of the silver blade caught light. It couldn’t have been longer than your forearm, but the weapon was yours. You knew what it was capable of.

“What, you’re threatening me with a knife? You should know me better than that.”

“I know you like pain,” you replied bluntly. “And I faintly remember that a stab wound can be more painful than a bullet.”

You stared at the blade as you spun it in your hand, Ward’s jaw clenching. You both understood your reference: after he discovered your revelation all those years ago, he had silenced you (along with his Hydra loyalty) with the quick slash of a knife. This knife, to be exact. You still had the scar, a white mass of skin that would never heal. A constant reminder of him.

Wind howled in your ears and tousled your clothes. You expertly twirled the knife with your fingers as your focussed moved back to him. Ward didn’t flinch, but you knew him well enough to notice the flare of his nostrils and the strained tendons popping out of his neck. Whatever reunion you had concocted in the earliest hours of the loneliest mornings, this wasn’t it. Not once did it occur to you that your paths would cross on a foreign planet, and that you would be the one wielding the knife and power. In that way, reality was better.

“(Y/N), the portal’s closing. We have to go!”

Fitz’s shrill voice carried through the wind. You heart sank as Ward smirked.

No, you needed more time.

“Now!”

For a moment, you whipped your head around towards the source. That was your only mistake.

Within seconds Ward had kicked your legs out from underneath you in a sophisticated swish. You tumbled to the ground with a surprised yelp. Sharp needles sprouted up your arm when you landed, your only sense of cushioning. Your head spun, the injuries from your previous fall beginning to ache along to the beat of your heart. You desperately tried to regain your bearings as Ward scrambled over to you. Now towering over you, he wore his signature snarl of menacing evil. The sight sickened you to your core.

Your efforts were rendered useless, for once you managed to sit up Ward kicked you back down to the ground. An ugly jolt ran up your spine and you spluttered, unprepared for his sudden attack. Sucking in sharp intakes of air to your convulsing lungs, Ward doomed over your black-spotted vision. His lips were mere millimetres away from your face when he spoke and you felt as though the devil himself was interrogating you.

“That portal is closing, and only one of us is getting through it,” Ward whispered, his warm breath hitting your face. You resisted the urge to gag. “I want you to know, in your final moments, that it was me who killed you. But, you were the one to let your friends die. You’re gonna live longer than them, but I can promise you that I will reward your friends a nicer death than the one you will receive.”

Your vision turned red. In that moment, nothing else mattered but him…and your knife.

His speech had provided you with enough time to fumble for your weapon without raising suspicion. Now he was smirking at you, but you were the one grasping the hilt of the dagger.

“Unfortunately, I’m not that merciful.”

His eyebrows pinched together, the smallest of movements, before you attacked. Ward immediately let a gasp fall from his lips as you sat upright, leaning into him. You felt the knife sink into his abdomen, tearing through fabric before reaching his flesh. The knife sunk through him with ease, sliding up to the hilt of the blade. You felt the weapon stop and stared into his eyes. Ward’s hands grasped at empty air, and you realised that he was taken aback by your initiative. Good.

When realisation flooded his eyes, dark pupils shrinking, you twisted the blade and felt, even heard, the tearing of more skin. He groaned, but never once did he scream. You could feel his insides being torn apart through the knife as you leant into him, lips touching his ear.

“Remember that it was I who defeated you. I who killed you.”

With all the force you could muster, you slammed the knife into him once more, holding him up by the nape of his neck.

“I won.”

You let go and watched him collapse onto the sand. The knife protruded from one of the two wounds in his stomach, scarlet ink flowing like a river around him.

You stood and watched him wither and suffer before the wind brought urgent screams from your friends. It was time to go.

Ward’s pained eyes met yours for the last time as you slowly unclasped a silver chain from around your neck and tossed it at his feet. All association with him was now gone.

With your arms and torso covered in sticky, crimson liquid, you turned on your heel without a second glance at your once love.

You emerged from the swirling sand to find Fitz and Coulson. Both looked panicked but okay. It was a miracle- you were all alive. They took one glance at your painted body and grimaced. Fitz’s eyes bulged out of his head and immediately attacked you with questions. You only looked at Coulson, his eyes sad with pity but understanding. He knew, and he wasn’t surprised. Both you knew that, one day, one of you would have had to do it.

“Is he-“

“Yes.” You said, interrupting Fitz while staring at Coulson.

“Are you-“

“Yes.”

Except that was a lie. There was a part of you that would never heal, never be okay. A part of you still loved him, and you always will.