#wallscrawls

[08-04-2023] — This piece represents dissociation / polyfragmentation — as a term in DID/OSDD, polyfragmentation means being more fragmented than typical cases of these disorders. A common occurrence for polyfragmented systems can be to have several or many ‘copies’ of the same alter, that encapsulate different memories and mental states; there can be a version of an alter that doesn’t remember certain trauma, while another separated part of themselves does — that being one example, there’s a lot of different possibilities.

Then your head begins to ache And all the plans you made just break For every dream you keep inside, another part of you has died

I was originally planning to make an animatic, but I scrapped the project because I didn't have the patience for it -- and so, I recycled the style and one of the assets I was going to use for it for a couple of little affirmation GIFs.

Something important to keep in mind about my art is that I tend to use JTHM characters more metaphorically rather than depicting accurately who they are in canon -- to me, Edgar is an asshole who presents as a nice person; you do whatever you want, but I personally don't like Edgar being shipped with Jimmy and/or Johnny because the dynamics I typically see him portrayed in as a normie voice of reason / caretaker to Nny or Mmy rings to me very ableist. I see him as the type of person to try and "fix" them for his own benefit, out of my experience with types of people like him.

I see people who relate to Jimmy being easily taken advantage of by the wrong people, like Edgar, because they've been beaten down by other people and want to be understood. Someone like Edgar [in my mind] will make you feel understood while treating you like shit. Sometimes it's hard to be able to see that you're in a situation like that, especially if they're the only person who has stuck by you.

If your partner is being overly controlling of the people you talk to because they don't fit the vision of you they want you to conform to, or if they aren't supportive of your dreams and who you are -- no matter how unconventional, alternative, mentally ill, or edgy you are, that's not okay. You don't have to tolerate being treated like that.

***YOU CAN SHIP WHATEVER YOU WANT I'm not the fiction moral police, so do whatever you want, this is just MY interpretation of these characters and their dynamic that I'm portraying for the sake of getting a message across through metaphorical figures.***

Here's a couple of extra little animations I did for the original animatic, and a couple of other extra doodles under the cut. I also made a playlist of songs that have helped me through my own toxic relationships and trauma.

”If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.” — Frank Zappa

Something I drew as an affirmation to myself — the injuries on Johnny’s face are based on my own massive head trauma from a suicide attempt in 2024, the eye photo is a picture of my own eye from that time…this is to represent the sentiment that I’d rather die for what I believe in than live to compromise it — nor will I compromise it in the face of a threat to my life.

I’ve noticed that after people are hurt, they often stop believing in the things they once thought were right — not because those things became wrong, but because the people who hurt them came to represent them. Others go the opposite direction: they file away their convictions just to be accepted by people they don’t even agree with, as though belonging is worth more than integrity. I understand why it happens, but I can’t accept it for myself. To me, that’s how harm perpetuates itself: not only by teaching us to distrust what’s good, but by persuading us to betray ourselves in exchange for approval. I’d rather carry the consequences of my convictions than let pain or the fear of being alone decide who I am.

I’ve been having a lot of flashbacks to my suicide attempts lately, and I’ve found myself on the brink again recently. If anything, it’s only reinforced this conviction. Fear doesn’t get to decide who I am. Fuck fear.

I originally started this sketch in the summer of 2025 — around May-June — and finished it tonight…I drew this essentially to say that my art and what I say stands only for myself and what I believe in; I’m not here to appeal to anyone who doesn’t get it, and I’m not going to be polite about it to compromise my values to make other people “comfortable.”

This piece is inspired by an illustration by R. Crumb; one of my artistic inspirations. The comic panel has nothing to do with anything, I just wanted to put it here because I like it.

Vent art and assorted doodles.