#wallofshame

And

"I like big tits."

Thank you for giving me courage.

Yesterday I was at work and there were two guys having a conversation about the women they have sex with. Except they were referred to as girls. And they didn't have sex, they kept saying things like, "I fucked her," and "boned." One of the guys was talking about his slutty behavior post break up and how he figured he'd hook up with all these girls and one of them ended up as his new girlfriend, except he didn't talk about her like a girlfriend. He talked about her like a piece of meat. Like she was a pocket pussy he could fuck for fun without any care for her. And then he broke out his phone to share pictures that I assume were NSFW so he could show his buddy. It was then that their conversation turned to all the dirty photos that they still had that girls had sent them, even after the breakup.

This all took place while I was working about 20 feet away. They knew I was there. I was not hiding and I was walking all around that area working. There were so many disturbing things about the situation that I was physically sick to my stomach. Not only did they speak in an open, braggish, disrespectful way about women, they didn't seem to care that I heard. It didn't register with them that the things they were saying were both disgusting and ethically wrong. They were young. Neither of them could have been more than twenty, and while some might offer that as an excuse for their misbehavior, all I could think of were the potentially horrible things they were going to do as they grew into adults.

It was difficult to contain my rage and disgust and I wanted so badly to say something, but didn't know what. The longer the conversation went on, the more I stewed and the less I worked. I was shocked into inaction. And then I saw their manager and one of the assistant managers together. I am a manager of my own area and I would have had full authority to tell off these kids but I did not want to approach it so angrily, or without choosing my words carefully and effectively, so I marched over to the other managers and began to relay to them what I had been listening to. One of them snickered and I called him out, "Yeah, maybe it's a little funny to you, but I stood there and listened to this and it made me sick to my stomach." He quickly took a serious tone and began to apologize. These managers are men who I know respect me and my work, and I think it's safe to say that if I'm bringing an issue like this to their attention, they know it's important. After many apologies to me, the two managers went over to the kids to correct them and make sure they knew what kind of discussion topics were appropriate for a work setting.

After reflecting on the incident I'm glad that I took the approach of having their own managers correct them. I'm afraid they would have written me off as a random angry lady. While I'm a manager I don't work with these guys and I didn't even know their names. I also have a strong belief that men correcting men for bad behavior may make it more likely to make it stick. If they don't respect women, they are unlikely to listen to them.

Aka @dominanttheory, @x-dvntdom-x, @dvntdom, @dominant-theory, @dvntdom1000

You can't have it both ways! You can't have abused your power AND create a safe place for people to interact with you.

It 👏 does 👏 not 👏 exist. 👏

When one abuses power, they do not simply recover from a few weeks of introspection. It takes a lot of time, self awareness, and hard work. Often abusers never recover from their ways.

Now that I'm on Reddit, I'm getting trolls there. Also please note that I posted in a BBW thread, so he should be appreciating the fatness of my jowls.