#waitingforthatcall

I cried today. I cried while running errands with my grandma. She was in the grocery store, so I felt I could cry freely. 

I think employers want me broken. There seems to be no enthusiasm for an enthusiastic employee, eager to jumpstart their career and livelihood. I say this because I interviewed not too long ago for an employer, who basically told me so. 

He asked about my current job search and interview mode demeanor: "You've been doing this for awhile, huh?" 

Me: "Yes"

I can tell by their tone when they're on the phone with me. Trying desperately to find any loophole to dissuade me from my employment pursuits. I would say that they don't deserve me. They don't deserve my attention to detail, my attentiveness and willingness to be on time. I worked at a place that I despised for 7 years. Do you know how many times I was late in those 7 years? I can count maybe 3. 

So was on the phone with a potential employer. Who I had called back, after he had left a message. So I'm interested right? Calling you back, shows my interest. 

On the phone with me, he is detailing the job: what it is, what I will be doing, etc. Says he sees my resume and interprets I have a background strictly in Art. 

Wrong. 

So I reply to him that I have a background in Design (Graphic, Exhibit), as well as website design, as well as Art. 

Says that this position calls for layout. 

Ok, no problem, I insist, as that would be my education and experience in Exhibit Design, which includes print layout. 

Now either he's not listening or does not know the full spectrum of my education and overall experience (i.e. my resume). That's fine, I will be more than willing to explain that to you, either over the phone or in a person-to-person interview. But do not try to discredit me over the phone by asking several times if I am A). interested or B). fully capable of the job requirements, when I A). call you back after a voice recording, saying I am interested AND tell you over the phone that I am interested and B). have already given you my resume that specifically lays out all my experience and job duties, of which is the reason why I am applying for said position. 

This situation coming directly after the fact of being dismissed via personal phone call for a potential job. I can say that this situation has happened before, from my former employer. When I interviewed with them the first time and did not get the position, but said they would keep me in mind. The second go-round, I didn't even have to interview because they already knew me, and was instantly offered the position. 

But that was one employer that managed to keep their promise. One. 

These others out here like to make false promises. I don't know what else to do, besides followup with phone calls and thank you letters. But the door still gets slammed in my face. 

I'm in good company though. Out of a class of 30, I can say only about 4 are employed in our profession. The rest of us haven't worked all summer. I don't know what this says about my school, or my field, or the company I seem to keep. 

But I guess it shows to me more than anything, that it's not purely my fault. Which I had thought for awhile. 

***

I'm not made for this modern world. I have now stumbled upon another element that I am considering adding to my job search: the Pain Letter. Have never heard of this devise, but am considering using it as a last resort to employers I truly wish to work with. But at this point, I am willing to work anywhere. 

An email from one job search company told me McDonalds is hiring...(good to know).

Had to Google "Pain Letter". Might cast my net in social media in order to ask what it is and how it works, while I cyber stalk for a position at a company that I applied for. Am following them on Twitter now, for Pain Letter ammunition.