#waitandsee

BILL Holdings: Still In A Wait-And-See Phase

I don’t think any sexual cheating happened in S2. I think that L&N had an instant chemistry and rapport with each other from the first moment they met and got close and physically comfortable (touchy feely) with each other right away. As a former theatre kid, I can say that’s somewhat normal behavior for actors. But they also always had the knowledge from day one that they were each other’s on screen love interests and would likely play the romantic leads together one day. And then when they got the confirmation before season 2 that their season was next, I think they started collaborating a lot and getting even closer. Talking about Colin and Pen, sending each other kisses and love scenes (and Polin fanfic??!!) for inspo… and I think this process added to their in-person emotional intimacy and added a bit of sexy anticipation to the whole thing kind of like sexting would in a normal relationship. I can see how L might have been pretty wrapped up in it and J could be concerned or feeling insecure at that time. And I think for L&N it created a very deep friendship and artistic partnership with sexual elements to it and a lot of emotional intimacy.

The way that N talks about the first kiss scene in season 3 makes it sound to me like it was their first time kissing. But then I think the dam broke on camera, with the dream scene and then the carriage scene, the mirror scene, the modiste scene (after the sex-ban episode, so they were building up the tension there) and by the final scene, holy shit that was raw. They were playing characters, but they were also embodying them and I think it was hard to deny how strong and explosive that chemistry was on top of the deep emotional intimacy they had already built with each other. It must have been kind of confusing and L mentions that the lines were blurred in an interview. Also in the podcast interview, when the interviewer asks how he played the wedding scene when he and Pen were at odds, he answered that he “let him [Colin] get caught up in the romance of it.” And I think that’s kind of what he did all season, let himself get caught up in the romance of it.

The exact timing of L’s breakup is unclear, but if it was always a situation of “we’re kind of into each other but we can’t go there because you have a girlfriend,” and then suddenly he doesn’t and the gloves are off and he’s emotionally reeling and she’s there… you can understand why the bts looks the way it does, especially the wedding scene. They were 100% in it with each other, whatever “it” was. They were fully each other’s person and romantic partner on set. We don’t know what else happened between them during that time.

Taking some time after that was probably a good idea, because now they have to take that whole situation and run it through a lens of reality and I think that’s what’s still happening now. They have to come to terms with who they are in the real world and if they are compatible in they way.

Clearly, based on them appearing to date other people, they haven’t (yet) decided they want to pursue anything in the real world outside of friendship, or if they have they haven’t made it public. But I think they do acknowledge how deep and meaningful and special it is and want to protect it and each other. (I will maintain that ring represents L and her experience in s3, whatever else it might mean for them remains to be seen.)

As soon as you start putting romantic labels on a relationship, you start dealing with expectations of how that other person is going to behave and those expectations can be broken and hurt the other person. That is why it is so risky to go there and why exes who loved each other so much can never be friends again. And I think that’s why they are either choosing not to, or taking their time to make sure it’s right.

You can see the fandom placing those expectations on them on the other’s behalf, and then getting upset when they don’t meet them. But we don’t know what they have discussed in terms of romantic commitment, exclusivity, expectations, etc. so we can’t assume that they are upset with each other about their involvement with others. In fact they keep going out of their way to assure us that they are not.

One more thing, I think there was some hurt or resentment after they took a break post TSOT and prior to press. Those first two interviews with Claudia and LT, N is all over LT and L seems kind of withdrawn/jealous/passive agressive like he doesn’t know where they stand or he’s hurt or resentful about whatever went down. Then it seems like the third interview is the Teen Vogue one where they are reading the tweets and they get caught back up in the chemistry and things seem to thaw. And I think over the course of the WT they made up and reaffirmed how much they mean to each other. Whether or not they decided to take that relationship and try to make it a traditional romantic relationship in the real world, or just protect it for what it is, I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and see.

Thank you for your thoughts & analysis! I also don't believe there was any cheating, but I do believe L's connection with N contributed to his break-up with J.

. Honestly, I don’t have a sense of humor.