#wait no second

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Being watched is a strange feeling. Truly, I read not so long ago that humans aren't able to truly sense if someone is watching them. It's basically all in your head.

Yet when things change so much in your environment, your way of seeing them changes too. If before it was only an impression, a paranoia created by my own fears of the unknown-of the darkness lurking in the corners...now I know that it's the pure and harsh reality. It took me a while to truly understand that no matter how far I force Atom to be, they'll always be there. I find it fascinating. Horrifying...but also fascinating.

Sometimes it almost comforts me. It may be this thing's manipulation starting to work on me. But when I feel alone, it feels good to know that I never truly am. Maybe it's only what I'm telling myself so I don't go crazy, but I'd like to believe it without thinking too much about it for now.

I don't really know how many days it's been since I'm stuck here, how many weeks...perhaps years? At first, I tried to keep track of the time by basing it on my sleep. But without all my responsibilities, I soon found myself oversleeping or staying up late watching space slowly drift by, and with the stars that disappeared behind the ship, so did my notion of time.

That morning I woke up early-well, early surely isn't the right word-but I knew it was earlier than usual when what welcomed my slowly awakening consciousness was Atom's silhouette leaning over my bed. They know that I hate when they watch me sleep, so they quickly learned to hide when I'm about to wake up. But visibly they weren't fast enough this time.

_"Urghhh..."

I groaned like I was in agony as the suit in front of me jumped in surprise before frantically waving their arms in panic, not even noticing how their head violently hit the low ceiling on top of my bed.

_"Luna! Luna? You're awake? I'm sorry! I didn't mean- you don't want me to follow the rhythm of your breath so-"

They spat the words out as fast as they could while straightening up, visibly hesitating between the joy of seeing me awake and the fear that I might be mad.

_"...shut up...I just woke up."

I cut them off while rubbing my face to avoid falling back asleep.

_"You did!"-they answered with way too much joy in their voice-"It is actually good news! The human can do the best while having 10 hours of sleep maximum!"

They said while "inflating" their bust, proud of their knowledge. I ignored that-not even questioning if what they had just said was true-and slowly sat down on my bed-putting my blanket aside.-

_"What's for breakfast today?"

_"Eggs and toast! I trained to make egg all night for Luna!"

The thought of filling my stomach put a slight smile on my face, and I got out of bed. After a quick fight to get Atom to stop paying attention to my room while I got dressed, I walked out in the corridors, the familiar sound of my boots hitting the metallic floor filling them, soon followed by the sound of Atom running to join me.

As they got closer, the urge to run away filled every ounce of my body, but it was useless. There was no way out of here. My only chance was the day I met them, and I didn't take it in time.

_"Luna?"

I slightly jumped as I realized they were now next to me-on an oddly synchronized pace. A bit on edge, I sped up.

_"For the I-stopped-counting-a-long-time-ago's, it's Y/N. Not Luna."

I sighed angrily. I didn't even give them a glance, yet I could easily guess they were wondering what they had done to anger me this time.

_"Oh! Yes...Y/N."

They added as they caught up to me once again.

_"I'm sure you're gonna love the egg! I trained very hard!"

_"Hm-hm."

And that was the only answer I gave them for all the next attempts they made to pull me out of my anger for the rest of the way to the kitchen.

Once there, I immediately noticed another Atom using the stove to cook some eggs, two pieces of toast positioned on a plate next to them. For a second I wondered if I was in a dream before remembering that Atom was, in fact, not human. I tend to forget that I'm the hostage of an eldritch entity, and I'm surprised by that myself.

Both of their helmets were turned in my direction, which was odd considering one of them was supposed to be cooking.

_"Sit down!"

They said together joyfully as I pulled out a chair. For a second I saw Kiara once again, complaining about some problems she had back on Earth. I quickly pushed her out of my mind, trying to focus on whatever Atom had started to yap about, yet the thought became louder and louder as I tried to ignore it.

I miss her.

What's happening with me today? Did I wake up on the wrong foot?

I miss all of them.

I stared into the void for a bit as the weight of that thought made my shoulders drop.

How ironic is that? I can't remember the number of times I wished they would leave me alone, or for this job to finish faster. Yet... I never really wanted them dead. Not like that, at least. I'm not sad enough to break down crying thinking about their deaths, yet I'm not neutral enough about it to avoid feeling slightly uneasy either.

I was finally pulled out of my thoughts by a plate full of eggs and toast being placed in front of me.

_"And that's where I existed!"

_"Eh?"

_"You know! You told how you existed. I existed the same way!"

_"How I... existed?"

I asked, trying to understand the context I had missed. The nonsensical blabbering of Atom would surely feel better than thinking about already dead assholes.

_"I think you say... born!"

I raised an eyebrow. Atom never really talked about their past, except when it was to explain how many things they had done just to find me.

_"You remember when you were born?"

_"Of course! I remember anything!.. almost.. mostly things about you though!"

They giggled. I didn't. Instead, questions started popping up in my head like water flowing from a new spring. Seeing my expression of genuine curiosity, Atom sat down in front of me.

_"Luna didn't know I remembered?"

They asked, simply happy to have an opportunity to talk with me.

_"No, I mean... I didn't think you were..."

_"Born? Everything born! Everything dies!"

_"I guess. You just seem so... powerful. Like some sort of mysterious entity we talk about in legends."

_"Thank you, Luna, I'm embarrassed!"

They answered, covering their visor like they were able to blush.

_"I didn't mean- Whatever... you said you remember where?"

_"I do! Yes! Luna's interested about me?"

I finally picked up one of my pieces of toast to take a bite. The taste was slightly off, but it was way better than the first ones they made. As I swallowed the food, I nodded.

_"Kinda."

_"I was born on a green planet, very small- and-"

They stopped. The suit completely froze in place in an almost unnatural way, and for a second I almost thought I could see little movements from inside it.

_"It's not far actually!"

They exclaimed, their "body" regaining life like a video unpaused. Their words took some time before truly sinking in.

_"...Not far?"

I repeated, unsure of what those words implied and not daring to guess myself.

_"Yes, close! A few thousands away. Are the egg and toast good?"

The last words didn't even reach my brain as I finally realized what this meant.

Could that... could that perhaps be an opportunity for me to... escape?

Even thinking it felt weird, like something that was just unnatural, impossible.

But I didn't let those feelings get the best of me. Instead, I replayed what Atom had said in my head.

A green planet.

Green means life.

And life means resources!

It's perhaps... no... surely colonized by humans!

I could get some help!

Get out of this gold-covered hell!

I just needed to convince them to bring me there. After all, they loved having my attention... right?

_"Actually I'm very curious about where you were born, Atom."

I insisted, pushing the plate to the side to focus on them.

_"You...? About... me?"

I noticed their hand weirdly starting to vibrate with excitement. Before I could add anything, they kept going.

_"It's a very little planet, I have seen way bigger ones while looking for you! Lots of plant! Green! Everywhere!"

This time it was my turn to cut them off.

I couldn't wait any longer to try.

Couldn't wait for them to change the subject.

Couldn't wait like I did long ago.

_"Oh wow, that sounds amazing. I'd love to see it myself!"

I said. The words spilled out of my mouth like a river.

Wait.

My tone sounded weird, right?

Did my voice too?

They froze.

I froze too.

Was that too obvious?

Not subtle enough?

Did they immediately guess what I was trying to do?

I can never know with them.

For a few seconds, silence filled the place, and it felt like the whole ship had stopped to think too.